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moving with my children

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amandlex

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas
so im married to a man in the military and sometime later in the year were gonna have to move out of state but i know im gonna have problems with my childrens father..how hard is it to move out of state with them when hes not active in their life? he basically comes around when he feels like it and pays no child support..i need help please:confused:
 


WittyUserName

Senior Member
Based on your other thread he's not ordered to pay support, right? He's only supposed to cover their medical insurance? So why would he pay support if he's not required to do so?

Is there a court order for custody & visitation? Has he exercised any visitation, even infrequently? Are you aware you could likely be on the hook for travel expenses for the kids to go visit Dad?

That's a lot of questions, and here's a couple of hints: google "long-distance parenting plans" to research what the scheduling might look like. (I.e Dad gets summer/Christmas break/ spring break, etc.) You'll want to have an idea of what to suggest, because no judge is going to completely strip Dad of his rights to see his kids just because you got married again.

AND THIS IS BIG - practice saying "our" kids, not "my" kids. Dad has just as much right to them as you do.
 

amandlex

Junior Member
response

well i actually tried to get him on child support but they denied me because he doesnt have a job..but their father has told me many times that he gets jobs that pay him cash so he wont have to pay child support..as for the court order..no theres no court order for custoday and visitation..and he only wants to see the kids when he feels like it...the way i see it..he just wants to be a father when its convientant for him and i dont think thats fair to the kids..and yes i had heard about the expenses for traveling for him to visit him and thats not a problem..
 

WittyUserName

Senior Member
well i actually tried to get him on child support but they denied me because he doesnt have a job..
Who is "They"?

but their father has told me many times that he gets jobs that pay him cash so he wont have to pay child support..
Doesn't matter what kind of job he has. It doesn't negate his children's right to support from both parents.

as for the court order..no theres no court order for custoday and visitation..and he only wants to see the kids when he feels like it...the way i see it..he just wants to be a father when its convientant for him and i dont think thats fair to the kids..and yes i had heard about the expenses for traveling for him to visit him and thats not a problem..
The way you see it won't matter to a court of law. You'll want to watch that, because if you head into court with that kind of mentality you are asking for a judicial slap-down.

Without a court order there's nothing stopping you from moving. However, there's also nothing stopping Dad from heading to court and petitioning for the kids to stay in his state of residence. Honestly? I'd try to first work out a long-distance parenting plan with Dad, one that you both can live with. There's some examples over at deltabravo.net that might help.

If the negotiation fails, then you will almost certainly be headed to court. And Dad's lack of financial support won't matter. The same will apply to his inconsistent visitation. Do you have a plan on how to handle the situation if the kids are unable to move with you? There's no reason to believe that a judge would automatically say no but you should be prepared for that, just in case.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Texas has a 'standard order of possession' which is generally ordered if the parents cannot come to an agreement.

You can find that here: http://www.robertslegalfirm.com/downloads/spo.pdf

If there is no order for custody/visitation, then you are free to move w/out Dad's permission. if he then files for custody/visitation, it's possible (though unlikely) that you'll be ordered to return the children to the state pending the case. The reason I say it's unlikely is that he's made no effort to establish orders or provide for the children to this point. Therefore, it's unlikely the courts would award him custody.

Texas tends to be sort of relaxed when it comes to relocation as long as the moving parent is willing to provide the children for visitation and incur the costs associated with it. The fact that the father is relatively uninvolved and it's a military move make it that much more likely that you'd be successful in your relocation.
 

amandlex

Junior Member
wittyusername

they i was referring to is the child supprt office..since he has no record of having a job they told me that they couldnt put him on child support..thats what i was talking about when i was said that he gets paid cash..since he gets paid cash theres no record of him actually working..

as for a plan..i dont have a plan yet thats why im trying to get as much information on what i have to do and what i have to look forward to happening..
 

amandlex

Junior Member
cjane

what i was most worried about is whether i could get in trouble by leaving the state without his permission..and so far what im hearing is that since he doesnt have custody/visitation it shouldnt be a problem..i dont really think that he would go through all the motions to send me to court because right now he lives about 5 minutes away from my house and he hasnt seen them in the past month and a half..and i think has called maybe once..
 

WittyUserName

Senior Member
Definitely try deltabravo.net. It helped me come up with a fair long-distance visitation plan.

And I would urge you to be proactive and fair when dealing with Dad; we have many posters who move away without telling the other parent and are then shocked when said parent objects and hauls them into court for an expensive legal fight. Like CJane said, no guarantee he'll win the case but it's a hassle to deal with nonetheless.
 

amandlex

Junior Member
thanks

thank you both very much for your advice..it really helped me out alot..and thanks for the websites i will make sure and look through them...thanks again...:)
 

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