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My 14 year old doesn't want to stay with her dad for Christmas visitation.

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wymom

Junior Member
After spending all afternoon talking to attorneys from 2 different states (Wyoming & South Dakota), if you ALL can agree on your daughter not going to Dad's for Christmas, then it's fine. But you ALL have to agree on it. I'm going thru the same battle with my 11 yr old daughter not wanting to go.

I talked to attorneys today and all said she does not have to go if my ex and I agree on it. First off, it was between him & my daughter and they made the plans. Then I figured I'd better get an opinion from an attorney to make sure it's ok. They said I don't have to go to court but if we all agree on her staying, then it's fine. But if all don't agree, then she's forced to go.

Then I talked to my ex to make sure there was an agreement between him & my daughter. He doesn't agree on letting her staying but he's allowing it and hoping she'll open her eyes to her missing out on seeing him.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If there is a visitation order and the NCP wants to exert his rights, then she has to go.
 

SRREED

Junior Member
My advice...Make sure that any changes are in writing from the dad. If not he can come back and say that he never agreed to it. If he won't write it down than follow the court order.
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
wymom said:
After spending all afternoon talking to attorneys from 2 different states (Wyoming & South Dakota), if you ALL can agree on your daughter not going to Dad's for Christmas, then it's fine. But you ALL have to agree on it. I'm going thru the same battle with my 11 yr old daughter not wanting to go.

I talked to attorneys today and all said she does not have to go if my ex and I agree on it. First off, it was between him & my daughter and they made the plans. Then I figured I'd better get an opinion from an attorney to make sure it's ok. They said I don't have to go to court but if we all agree on her staying, then it's fine. But if all don't agree, then she's forced to go.

Then I talked to my ex to make sure there was an agreement between him & my daughter. He doesn't agree on letting her staying but he's allowing it and hoping she'll open her eyes to her missing out on seeing him.
A verbal agreement does not overwrite the court order. Dad may agree verbally, then file a motion for contempt.
 

efcoco1

Member
I live in Texas..
went through this with ex...
The judge said..If Dad never arrived physically to pick son up..then how could I have refused him visitation. Judge said..you can't call and because nobody answered phone..automatically assume that the child is not going to be accessable..and refusal for visitation over the phone is not considered contempt unless you arrive physically..as court orders read..and then if you are denied access after you arrive...that is contempt.
 

casa

Senior Member
In order to be safe- You both need to put the agreement in writing, then both sign and date it, then file a copy in your court file.

DO NOT just 'trust' that a verbal agreement will suffice.
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
casa said:
In order to be safe- You both need to put the agreement in writing, then both sign and date it, then file a copy in your court file.

DO NOT just 'trust' that a verbal agreement will suffice.
What part of "a verbal or written agreement cannot override a court order" don't you understand? It means nothing! She is obligated under a COURT ORDER to have the child ready at the COURT ORDERED TIME AND DATE.

Maybe we should start letting murderers and rapists decide whether or not they feel like following their court orders! After all, they could get a written agreement on the side.
 

haiku

Senior Member
my daughter has lost most her teeth because she hates brushing and the dentist so we just don't go....

I sit home on sundays and don't go to church, because she is bored there....

The truant officer calls here a lot because well, when she is tired, I just elt her stay home from school....

My poor mother has not seen her grandaughter in months because my daughter would rather hang out with her friends then go to family dinner......

speaking of family dinner, I had to break into the college savings because chuckie cheese is really putting a dent in my budget...........










:rolleyes:
 

casa

Senior Member
VeronicaGia said:
What part of "a verbal or written agreement cannot override a court order" don't you understand? It means nothing! She is obligated under a COURT ORDER to have the child ready at the COURT ORDERED TIME AND DATE.

Maybe we should start letting murderers and rapists decide whether or not they feel like following their court orders! After all, they could get a written agreement on the side.

Well, this has been for years and continues to be legal. At least in my state (CA). We follow the court order and if we change visitation for some reason, we both sign a written agreement and file it with the rest of the court file. Both sides attorneys as well as the judge have stated it is acceptable.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
I never saw where dad was in agreement with this.

When I was 14, I was NOT given a choice of whether to spend chunks of my holiday vacation time with my parents. THEY decided. And thank goodness. If I hadn't spent the time with my dad back then, I would never have had a chance to truly know him. Just remember, there isn't always a "later" to do this, to spend time that allows us to get to really know our parent. To talk to them with more maturity than we had as grammar school kids. And learn from them. Some of us only had up into our teens, and then they were gone forever.
 
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casa

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
'Cause it hasn't been posted. I think people are confusing wymom's response with OP's.
oooops :eek: Exactly what I had done Stealth- confused the OP with wymom's. (OK, I've braced myself for the throwing of tomatoes! :cool: )
 

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