My ex is endangering our child

[aliachase2007]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I dont know what to do. My ex is getting divorced from his wife. She's been the care giver of our 5 yr old for the past 4 yrs while at her fathers house. With this divorce things are changing alot. I found out he tries to drink and drive with our daughter in the car, doesn't give her her medicine(acts like he isnt aware shes on meds), tries to give her sour milk, hasnt been staying at his house (Im not sure where hes is staying when he has our daughter) among other things.

She told me the other day that now that the SM wont be sharing his bed she can sleep with him. Im sure thats not what it sounds like, but Im still concerned. We've had problems in the past, but now that the SM wont be around to make sure our daughter is safe Im scared whats going to happen.

Ive notified her teacher, who has seen a change in her behavior as well as the family specialist for the school who is going to send a referral out for a counselor as well as other helpful ideas. Im tried legal aid. On the phone she said it looks good for me to get a lawyer, but i got a letter saying because they have low funding they wont be able to help me.

I dont know who to contact and I need help now. Shes going to his house this weekend, and I dont think its agood idea.

I contacted legal aid to modify the order and told them a few of the things I mentioned. I dont want to go to court without a lawyer as I need the legal advice and help.

Thanks for your advice!

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by aliachase2007

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I dont know what to do. My ex is getting divorced from his wife. She's been the care giver of our 5 yr old for the past 4 yrs while at her fathers house. With this divorce things are changing alot. I found out he tries to drink and drive with our daughter in the car, doesn't give her her medicine(acts like he isnt aware shes on meds), tries to give her sour milk, hasnt been staying at his house (Im not sure where hes is staying when he has our daughter) among other things.

She told me the other day that now that the SM wont be sharing his bed she can sleep with him. Im sure thats not what it sounds like, but Im still concerned. We've had problems in the past, but now that the SM wont be around to make sure our daughter is safe Im scared whats going to happen.

Ive notified her teacher, who has seen a change in her behavior as well as the family specialist for the school who is going to send a referral out for a counselor as well as other helpful ideas. Im tried legal aid. On the phone she said it looks good for me to get a lawyer, but i got a letter saying because they have low funding they wont be able to help me.

I dont know who to contact and I need help now. Shes going to his house this weekend, and I dont think its agood idea.

I contacted legal aid to modify the order and told them a few of the things I mentioned. I dont want to go to court without a lawyer as I need the legal advice and help.

Thanks for your advice!

well, if your not willing to go to court without a lawyer, there isn't much anyone can do for you here except start borrowing or begging for the money to get an attorney.

however, in order to get a modification, you need to PROVE dad is a danger, not just because you are worried he MIGHT be a danger.

and how do you KNOW dad is intoxicated while driving? are you following him around with a breathalyzer? has dad been convicted of DUI's while the child is in the car?

[aliachase2007]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

well, if your not willing to go to court without a lawyer, there isn't much anyone can do for you here except start borrowing or begging for the money to get an attorney.

however, in order to get a modification, you need to PROVE dad is a danger, not just because you are worried he MIGHT be a danger.

and how do you KNOW dad is intoxicated while driving? are you following him around with a breathalyzer? has dad been convicted of DUI's while the child is in the car?

I was hopeing someone else has gone through something similar where as they werent able to get help from legal aid but was able to find help elsewhere(bar association ect). He has had DUIs when I was pregnant and when she was young. The reason Im concerned now is because his wife told me she has had to take the keys from him because of his drinking. I believe her because, even tho we haven't gotten along she does love my daughter and is also concerned for her.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by aliachase2007

I was hopeing someone else has gone through something similar where as they werent able to get help from legal aid but was able to find help elsewhere(bar association ect). He has had DUIs when I was pregnant and when she was young. The reason Im concerned now is because his wife told me she has had to take the keys from him because of his drinking. I believe her because, even tho we haven't gotten along she does love my daughter and is also concerned for her.

Again, you need proof.

Not suspicion, not assumption, not anecdotal evidence. Proof....and this is true whether you have an attorney, are going pro se, have Legal Aid assistance, whatever.

[michandil]

You need an affidavit from the wife who has told you this- that he is drinking and driving. Then you also do an affidavit yourself.

An affidavit is a written statement in which you write down exactly what you know to be true, what you personally know as fact. It has a special format. And it is a "sworn" statement, meaning that at the end and the beginning of the statement it says that you swear that this information is true to the best of your knowledge and belief. Then you take it to a notary public, sign the Affidavit in front of the notary, and have the notary notarize it. The affidavits provide your supporting documentation for your motion.

Then you file a motion to modify parenting time or visitation, and attach the affidavits, as your proof (no, as your evidence <blush>). You will probably have to pay a filing fee, but you also might qualify for a waiver of the fee.

Check your local legalaid website and your local court website. They might have forms online for filing a motion, and they might have some how-to lists of instructions to help you along. Also, you can ask the court clerks if the documents comply with the requirements.


You can do this without a lawyer. It is MUCH better to do it with a lawyer. However, if you truly do not have the money for a lawyer, there really isn't any choice but to do it yourself. As you have noticed reading posts here, your failure to act to protect your child can be held against you in the future.

Be assured that many many parents go to court on motions without a lawyer. So you won't be alone in taking that leap by yourself. All you can do is try.

Have faith in yourself and good luck.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by michandil

You need an affidavit from the wife who has told you this- that he is drinking and driving. Then you also do an affidavit yourself.

An affidavit is a written statement in which you write down exactly what you know to be true, what you personally know as fact. It has a special format. And it is a "sworn" statement, meaning that at the end and the beginning of the statement it says that you swear that this information is true to the best of your knowledge and belief. Then you take it to a notary public, sign the Affidavit in front of the notary, and have the notary notarize it. The affidavits provide your supporting documentation for your motion.

Then you file a motion to modify parenting time or visitation, and attach the affidavits, as your proof.

Affidavits aren't PROOF. Anyone can swear up and down that what they say is true. The court would need hardcore evidence that what she is alleging is true.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by michandil

You need an affidavit from the wife who has told you this- that he is drinking and driving. Then you also do an affidavit yourself.

An affidavit is a written statement in which you write down exactly what you know to be true, what you personally know as fact. It has a special format. And it is a "sworn" statement, meaning that at the end and the beginning of the statement it says that you swear that this information is true to the best of your knowledge and belief. Then you take it to a notary public, sign the Affidavit in front of the notary, and have the notary notarize it. The affidavits provide your supporting documentation for your motion.

Then you file a motion to modify parenting time or visitation, and attach the affidavits, as your proof.

You can do this without a lawyer. It is MUCH better to do it with a lawyer. However, if you truly do not have the money for a lawyer, there really isn't any choice but to do it yourself. As you have noticed reading posts here, your failure to act to protect your child can be held against you in the future.

Be assured that many many parents go to court on motions without a lawyer. So you won't be alone in taking that leap by yourself. All you can do is try.

Have faith in yourself and good luck.

um....no

those notarized statements mean nothing.

witnesses, that can be questioned matter. and the new ex to be, is biased. only coming forward AFTER she is at odds with the father. had she called the police and reported it at the time of the occurance, would her testimony have mattered.

[michandil]

Affidavits are sworn statements by individuals with personal knowledge of facts relevant to issues in the case. Generally, motions must be supported by documentary evidence and affidavits satisfy this requirement.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by michandil

Affidavits are sworn statements by individuals with personal knowledge of facts relevant to issues in the case. Generally, motions must be supported by documentary evidence and affidavits satisfy this requirement.

speaking from personal experience, affidavits aren't worth the paper they're written on in court. OP would need a police report, conviction, and/or corroborating witnesses to support her claims of child endangerment. Not just a sworn statement from the ex-wife.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by michandil

Affidavits are sworn statements by individuals with personal knowledge of facts relevant to issues in the case. Generally, motions must be supported by documentary evidence and affidavits satisfy this requirement.

not in this case. an affidavit from a professional, maybe. a police officer, maybe. a therapist? maybe. a social worker? maybe.


ex wife to be? no.

[michandil]

Disagree.

How the third party decision maker chooses to weigh the evidence submitted is a different issue. I believe that you are weighing. That's the realm of the judge/referee/magistrate.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by michandil

Disagree.

How the third party decision maker chooses to weigh the evidence submitted is a different issue. I believe that you are weighing. That's the realm of the judge/referee/magistrate.

WRONG. There are Rules of Evidence that need to be followed.

[michandil]

Actually this is an issue of court rules, not rules of evidence. Procedural parameters to support a motion, the rules to support a motion to modify an existing order. In family court, often to request a hearing as well. Check to see you local procedures on motions.

In regard to rules of evidence, see FRE 601, 602, and 603.

OP,
Can you get records of the DUIs as well? And yes, you would still want affidavits from witnesses who have seen continued drinking and driving.

[MCDATX]

Originally Posted by michandil

Actually this is an issue of court rules, not rules of evidence. Procedural parameters to support a motion, the rules to support a motion to modify an existing order. In family court, often to request a hearing as well. Check to see you local procedures on motions.

In regard to rules of evidence, see FRE 601, 602, and 603.

OP,
Can you get records of the DUIs as well? And yes, you would still want affidavits from witnesses who have seen continued drinking and driving.

i stand corrected.
However, the OP would still need PROOF. Your previous advice of attaching affidavits to her motion to modify is incorrect and would not be sufficient.

You are correct in advising her to collect records of DUIs. Affidavits would need to come from a police officer or other expert. Not just someone who says, "he was driving and looked drunk." HOWEVER, those may not even be useful if the child was not in the car while he got the DUI. She needs to PROVE he's endangering the child.

[michandil]

I invite you to cite the texas court rule in respect to supporting documentation for a motion.

"Proof" is not a technical/legal term. A legal determination that someone has "proven" their case is made by a third party decision-maker after assessing and weighing evidence. The documentation discussed here is evidence.

eta: Therefore, I's better edit my original post where I wrongly use the word"proof." Sloppy.