My husband just found out he has another daughter 10 1/2 years later.

[wolftressdd]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

I am a step-mother to 2 beautiful girls who my husband and myself just found out he is the husband of 1 of the girls. She is 10.5 years old right now. Child was removed from the mother due to mother's husband and mother has signed her over to the grandmother (who is mother's mom). When mother was pregnant, my husband was never told the baby was ever a possibility of his. He had not seen the mother for around 11 years before this paternity test. Test came back he is the father 99.99%.
My husband has requested visitations with his child and has been denied for the past 3 months. Child protective services now knows he knows the child is his and is trying to get visitations, but this agency is not helping in this process. So my husband and myself have decided to file for custody.
Also this agency refuses to give my husband reason why child was removed from her mothers care, but we found out through mutual neighbors, friends, and family members the reason why.
We currently live in a 6 bedroom house where 1 bedroom is used for a playroom so the child will have her own room. We also have 5 other children (ages 18-2 years old) who actually want to meet their sister and have a sibling bound with her.
We believe this precious child may be in harms way (verbally and possibly physically - but we are not sure) when we heard incidences from her other family members. The grandmother and mother are threatening to move out of state, but my husband is refusing to allow it.
We believe the child's mother did not give his name as father for malicious reasons but we will never know. That side of the family refuses to talk to us no matter how many times we politely attempt to talk to them.
How do we go about filing, getting what we need to file, precautions we may need to take, and is this possible to obtain custody of said child? Does he have the right to review her case with child protection service and court documents on removal of child from mother?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

I am a step-mother to 2 beautiful girls who my husband and myself just found out he is the husband of 1 of the girls. She is 10.5 years old right now. Child was removed from the mother due to mother's husband and mother has signed her over to the grandmother (who is mother's mom). When mother was pregnant, my husband was never told the baby was ever a possibility of his. He had not seen the mother for around 11 years before this paternity test. Test came back he is the father 99.99%.
My husband has requested visitations with his child and has been denied for the past 3 months. Child protective services now knows he knows the child is his and is trying to get visitations, but this agency is not helping in this process. So my husband and myself have decided to file for custody.
Also this agency refuses to give my husband reason why child was removed from her mothers care, but we found out through mutual neighbors, friends, and family members the reason why.
We currently live in a 6 bedroom house where 1 bedroom is used for a playroom so the child will have her own room. We also have 5 other children (ages 18-2 years old) who actually want to meet their sister and have a sibling bound with her.
We believe this precious child may be in harms way (verbally and possibly physically - but we are not sure) when we heard incidences from her other family members. The grandmother and mother are threatening to move out of state, but my husband is refusing to allow it.
We believe the child's mother did not give his name as father for malicious reasons but we will never know. That side of the family refuses to talk to us no matter how many times we politely attempt to talk to them.
How do we go about filing, getting what we need to file, precautions we may need to take, and is this possible to obtain custody of said child? Does he have the right to review her case with child protection service and court documents on removal of child from mother?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Your husband absolutely NEEDS an attorney, and you need to understand that you will not be getting custody - period.

You're a legal stranger and will remains so unless you adopt the child.

 

[stealth2]

my husband and myself just found out he is the husband of 1 of the girls. She is 10.5 years old right now.

Say *what*?

 

[ecmst12]

Does the child have a legal father?

I'm sorry, unless he never knew she was pregnant at all, your husband knew there was a possibility the child was his.

 

[LdiJ]

Your husband absolutely will get visitation with the child if he asks for it. He will likely have to phase into it.

However, custody, at this stage, may be a different matter. The child is 10 1/2 years old and he is a stranger to her. The courts may very well feel that the child needs to remain with her grandmother...at least for the near future.

Also, the job of CPS is to reunify children with parents from whom they are removed. Unless the child's mother doesn't follow through with the "hoops" they will require of her, CPS's intent will be to reunify the child with her.

 

[AkersTile]

So is there a legal father on the BC?

It may be that your hubby is SOL. I believe that if kiddo has a legal father, there's nothing hubby can do after 10.5 yrs. That's just my understanding of it, but someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Say *what*?

that's what I said.... Good thing I kept reading!

 

[AkersTile]

that's what I said.... Good thing I kept reading!

LOL. You gotta love typos. They make for some interesting reading.

 

[futuredust]

I am confused, how is OP the stepmother of TWO girls, only finding out ONE of them is actually Dads child.. Now? Was he aware the other was his child, is the other a child of yet another mother.. if both children are of same mom, did he have contact with the one child and not the other..

So many questions..

 

[wolftressdd]

to try to answer some..

My husband has 4 daughters total. His oldest 18 now and lives with us since May 2009 after she was removed from her mother for different reasons. His second oldest is with a different woman. He had dated this mother for 2nd child for about 2 months. She found out she was pregnant and never told him! There was no name on birth certificate. She claimed it was a "party pregnancy" and did not know dad. I do not know what that meant but it was not the case. After paternity testing was done, results in and going to court for support, the judge ordered the city/town that child resides to correct (i forgot the actual court term) the name of father on birth certificate to my husband's name. My husband has a copy of her BC.
After further talking to more of her family members this morning via internet, she did not tell ANY of her kids father she was pregnant (she has 5 kids total). I do not knock her as a mother or be little, I am just trying to understand her point of view on some of these things.
My husband's other 2 daughters (the youngest ones) are with me.
As for me, I know I will never be awarded custody (unless certain circumstances) and can only adopt if mother rights are taken away/ judge ordered. We have looked this up due to my 2 boys having a deadbeat dad and husband would like to adopt them.
My husband has also found out that at the care and protection court date, his daughter's mother signed her over to the care of the grandmother.
My husband does have voice mail messages and emails stating he needs to pick up his daughter because she is "acting like him" (her own words). she has called and emailed him multiple times and when he goes to pick up his daughter as requested, they are not to be found or heard from for a few days.
He has been to the police department concerned they are playing a game with her and was told all the can recommend is he go to pick her up everytime they call/email him! Unless there is abuse going on and he can provide some kind of evidence/proof of this, they will not help. To his understanding when the grandmother calls/messages these things and says this, he believes his daughter is around her.
My husband is going to file and submit these emails and voice messages to the court. He also has notarized letters from (mother's side) stating their concern for the child.

 

[wolftressdd]

Pregnancy and visitation...

Sorry I did not get to reply to these.
My husband did not know AT ALL she was pregnant and it was possibly his child. He never saw her again until 10.5 years later when state brought him to court for testing and child support. That is the only time he saw his daughter too! The grandmother is receiving cash benefits from the state so this is why state brought him into court. Other than that, he would have never known he had another daughter !
About visitations : He has been in contact w/ the CPS agency. He found out something was done to his daughter by mother's husband and this was why removal was immediate but he does not know when this occurred. The agency told him to try to work visitations out with the grandmother but after 1 month of her refusing to even talk to him (besides her little mind game calls and emails) he went to agency to pay for supervised visitations. He understands the slow process of them getting to know each other, but as his question to me was "If these people can take a child and shove it in a foster home that the child has no idea of, how can they refuse to place a child here?"
Now see you have to understand something. His oldest daughter lived on a certain street and so did his sister and her kids. Everyday all the kids on the street would play together, visit each others house, sleepovers, bbq's, and such all together ! Then it is found that this little girl is his and none of the neighbor kids really see her except for when she goes to school. His oldest and his nieces and nephews used to play with and come to find out she is family! He has seen his daughter but not in a father/daughter way because he did not know she was his. So they do have somewhat of an interaction (no negatives) and she does know his other kids.
My husband is also concerned about his daughter's placement because for one he does not know if his daughter's mother's husband (ex or not... we don't know) is around any of them and the grandmother lives on the first floor with his daughter and the girl's mother lives on the 2nd floor. This concerns him. Me too !
So as you can see, he is trying to get all info he can and seeks the help of others so he can go forward with this and try to make good for her sake.

 

[Isis1]

Sorry I did not get to reply to these.
My husband did not know AT ALL she was pregnant and it was possibly his child. He never saw her again until 10.5 years later when state brought him to court for testing and child support. That is the only time he saw his daughter too! The grandmother is receiving cash benefits from the state so this is why state brought him into court. Other than that, he would have never known he had another daughter !
About visitations : He has been in contact w/ the CPS agency. He found out something was done to his daughter by mother's husband and this was why removal was immediate but he does not know when this occurred. The agency told him to try to work visitations out with the grandmother but after 1 month of her refusing to even talk to him (besides her little mind game calls and emails) he went to agency to pay for supervised visitations. He understands the slow process of them getting to know each other, but as his question to me was "If these people can take a child and shove it in a foster home that the child has no idea of, how can they refuse to place a child here?"
Now see you have to understand something. His oldest daughter lived on a certain street and so did his sister and her kids. Everyday all the kids on the street would play together, visit each others house, sleepovers, bbq's, and such all together ! Then it is found that this little girl is his and none of the neighbor kids really see her except for when she goes to school. His oldest and his nieces and nephews used to play with and come to find out she is family! He has seen his daughter but not in a father/daughter way because he did not know she was his. So they do have somewhat of an interaction (no negatives) and she does know his other kids.
My husband is also concerned about his daughter's placement because for one he does not know if his daughter's mother's husband (ex or not... we don't know) is around any of them and the grandmother lives on the first floor with his daughter and the girl's mother lives on the 2nd floor. This concerns him. Me too !
So as you can see, he is trying to get all info he can and seeks the help of others so he can go forward with this and try to make good for her sake.

here's the sticky mess. CPS is already involved. if dad had paternity established, had a visitation established BEFORE CPS got involved, then it woul dhave been much easier.

dad needs to go to court to establish a graduating visitation plan with a therapist present. he needs to start from scratch. around CPS.

and the reason why CPS isn't going ot let dad take the child as opposed to foster care, because the foster parents have been throughly checked (by their standards) and dad hasn't. had either one of you had a foster parent certificate, it might have been a shot.

 

[wolftressdd]

Cps check and visitation...

There is and open and active CPS case and as my husband was told that since there was an open active case, they cannot get involved. We called thousand sof places and none will help him due to this open case.
About CPS check standards or foster care certificate: Neither my husband nor I have a certificate for this. But the CPS agency has done a CORI check and a full blown background, financial, yadd-yadda check due to my son returning back to me from HIS father (my husband is not his father). My oldest son wanted to live with his father and both of us (his dad and I) agreed. His father became overwhelmed with his son's medical issues (autism, encopresis, OCD... list goes on) and father was about to turn him over to state. I called CPS on him for medical neglect on my son (was not taking him to his counseling, psychiatry, pedi GI, and dental appts) and was constantly cancelling appointments. This has greatly impacted my sons schooling as well as his life skills, medical, and mental well being.
So yes a full fledged thourough "inspection" of me, my husband, kids, and family support system was done and evaluated and my oldest was returned to us. We believe our house is more equipped and able to take care of his 2nd daughter.

 

[Isis1]

There is and open and active CPS case and as my husband was told that since there was an open active case, they cannot get involved. We called thousand sof places and none will help him due to this open case.
About CPS check standards or foster care certificate: Neither my husband nor I have a certificate for this. But the CPS agency has done a CORI check and a full blown background, financial, yadd-yadda check due to my son returning back to me from HIS father (my husband is not his father). My oldest son wanted to live with his father and both of us (his dad and I) agreed. His father became overwhelmed with his son's medical issues (autism, encopresis, OCD... list goes on) and father was about to turn him over to state. I called CPS on him for medical neglect on my son (was not taking him to his counseling, psychiatry, pedi GI, and dental appts) and was constantly cancelling appointments. This has greatly impacted my sons schooling as well as his life skills, medical, and mental well being.
So yes a full fledged thourough "inspection" of me, my husband, kids, and family support system was done and evaluated and my oldest was returned to us. We believe our house is more equipped and able to take care of his 2nd daughter.

but it's too late for that now. dad has to establish himself with CPS now. and work on his visitation.

 

[wolftressdd]

visitatioon work...

Too late to work on what?
CPS returned my oldest after doing their thorough investigation checks and what not in February 2010 to make sure child would be safe, financially taken care of, so on and so and child was returned back to me.
He has called CPS worker and her supervisor but all he gets is an amswering machine. He has called higher to that person but was told to go back to CPS worker and keep bugging her. He cut his hours down to be home on and off during "normal business hours" for the agency and has not got a reply back in like 2 months. I know they will nnot talk to me because I am not "biological" of any kind to her but yet they do a CORI check investigation thing on my husband when MY child needed to be returned to me (where he got no mis-treatment might I add!). So if they can talk to him about my son, does anyone know why they cannot talk to me about his 2nd daughter and having her other siblings starting a relationship with her. I swear sometimes things are so backwards when the obvious, easiest thing for kids is right in front of their face !
Just looking for some advice of some kind.
He needed a few signatures from the CPS worker on paperwork for one place to do visits but they have no received the nothing yet.
I think CPS agency is to overwhelmed with cases to tell you the truth!
Is there anything I can do on my end? Besides emotionally and financially help him (our house is a 2 person decision making house not a 1 sided person who makes decisions in case anyone was wondering).