My rights as a joint custodial parent and Ex-Wife's boyfriend question

[Mr. Goodman]

State: Colorado

My ex wife and I have joint custody of our 2 children (50% shared). My ex now has a live in boyfriend who happens to be the man she had an affair with during our marriage (they got back together). Needless to say, I do not care for him but that is beside the point I suppose. She now wants him to take the kids to their after school activities during her weeks with the children. I am always at those activities and in fact coach some of them. I asked her to allow me to take the children there to avoid awkward or even bad confrontations. Not to mention, I think it is best for the children to be with their custodial parents at all times whenever possible. She will not allow me to take them (wants him acting as some kind of Father is her reasoning). What are my rights when my children are with my ex wife's boyfriend? Do I have custodial rights in that instance? We have no family agreement on such a situation because I never thought it would come to this. Our agreement basically states that we each have equal shared custody. I generally take them to all of their things... especially if she cannot during her time. Do I have the right to take my children when they are in HIS possession? Does the other custodial parent have a right to the children when they are NOT with their ex?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Antigone*]

State: Colorado

My ex wife and I have joint custody of our 2 children (50% shared). My ex now has a live in boyfriend who happens to be the man she had an affair with during our marriage (they got back together). Needless to say, I do not care for him but that is beside the point I suppose. She now wants him to take the kids to their after school activities during her weeks with the children. I am always at those activities and in fact coach some of them. I asked her to allow me to take the children there to avoid awkward or even bad confrontations. Not to mention, I think it is best for the children to be with their custodial parents at all times whenever possible. She will not allow me to take them (wants him acting as some kind of Father is her reasoning). What are my rights when my children are with my ex wife's boyfriend? Do I have custodial rights in that instance? We have no family agreement on such a situation because I never thought it would come to this. Our agreement basically states that we each have equal shared custody. I generally take them to all of their things... especially if she cannot during her time. Do I have the right to take my children when they are in HIS possession? Does the other custodial parent have a right to the children when they are NOT with their ex?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

It does not sound like you have an ROFR in yor order. Mom is well within her rights to have her honey hang out with the kids during her parenting time. The same would go for you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

State: Colorado

My ex wife and I have joint custody of our 2 children (50% shared). My ex now has a live in boyfriend who happens to be the man she had an affair with during our marriage (they got back together). Needless to say, I do not care for him but that is beside the point I suppose. She now wants him to take the kids to their after school activities during her weeks with the children. I am always at those activities and in fact coach some of them. I asked her to allow me to take the children there to avoid awkward or even bad confrontations. Not to mention, I think it is best for the children to be with their custodial parents at all times whenever possible. She will not allow me to take them (wants him acting as some kind of Father is her reasoning). What are my rights when my children are with my ex wife's boyfriend? Do I have custodial rights in that instance? We have no family agreement on such a situation because I never thought it would come to this. Our agreement basically states that we each have equal shared custody. I generally take them to all of their things... especially if she cannot during her time. Do I have the right to take my children when they are in HIS possession? Does the other custodial parent have a right to the children when they are NOT with their ex?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Does your court order address any form of a ROFR?

 

[Mr. Goodman]

No, we do not have a ROFR

Does your court order address any form of a ROFR?

We have never had to have one. Common sense has always dictated this. She takes the kids sometimes when they are in school for field trips or personal time on their lunches, etc. during my weeks (never asks to do so, just does it). I coach them in their activities so I have generally taken them on after school activities during her week when she didn't want to drop them off. When I leave town, I generally hand the kids over to her unless it is for several days when she is working. I guess, things were fine until boyfriend moved in. It seems strange that I would not be able to take them to activities I am going to be at anyway (coaching or participating in) or that I would not have custodial rights when they are with a non family member not agreed upon by both of us.

 

[Ohiogal]

We have never had to have one. Common sense has always dictated this. She takes the kids sometimes when they are in school for field trips or personal time on their lunches, etc. during my weeks (never asks to do so, just does it). I coach them in their activities so I have generally taken them on after school activities during her week when she didn't want to drop them off. When I leave town, I generally hand the kids over to her unless it is for several days when she is working. I guess, things were fine until boyfriend moved in. It seems strange that I would not be able to take them to activities I am going to be at anyway (coaching or participating in) or that I would not have custodial rights when they are with a non family member not agreed upon by both of us.

Seriously this is NOT a hill to die on and you should be able to act like an adult and cordial with this man or keep your distance.

 

[Mr. Goodman]

Huh?

Seriously this is NOT a hill to die on and you should be able to act like an adult and cordial with this man or keep your distance.

I'm not keeping my distance from my children. Why would I do that? They are activities I participate in (e.g. coach them, etc.). As for cordial, I do keep my distance from the man. I am not befriending someone who willingly slept with my wife during our marriage. I don't hear women's groups saying women should be cordial with their abusers. I neither speak to nor associate with the man, but that is beside the point. The point is about my legal rights. If you have any input to that, then please let me know. Otherwise, thank you for cordially leaving the thread.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not keeping my distance from my children. Why would I do that?

Keep a distance from your wife's boyfriend.

They are activities I participate in (e.g. coach them, etc.). As for cordial, I do keep my distance from the man. I am not befriending someone who willingly slept with my wife during our marriage. I don't hear women's groups saying women should be cordial with their abusers.

No one is saying you should befriend him but how dare you compare the man your former wife slept with with an abuser. Are you seriously that moronic?

I neither speak to nor associate with the man, but that is beside the point. The point is about my legal rights. If you have any input to that, then please let me know. Otherwise, thank you for cordially leaving the thread.

legally GROW UP. Legally realize this is NOT a hill to die on. LEGALLY you can hopefully act like an adult though it doesn't appear you may know how to do that. LEGALLY, your ex has a right to let her bedmate take your children whereever ON HER TIME. Legally, what she does on her TIME is NONE of your business.

Got it?

 

[Mr. Goodman]

Keep a distance from your wife's boyfriend.

I'm not asking for your advice on how I should treat my wife's boyfriend. Personally, don't care what some anonymous woman thinks about that.

No one is saying you should befriend him but how dare you compare the man your former wife slept with with an abuser. Are you seriously that moronic?

Who is no one? You are speaking for yourself right? Not that I care anymore since you are an idiot. How dare I compare indeed!

legally GROW UP. Legally realize this is NOT a hill to die on. LEGALLY you can hopefully act like an adult though it doesn't appear you may know how to do that. LEGALLY, your ex has a right to let her bedmate take your children whereever ON HER TIME. Legally, what she does on her TIME is NONE of your business.

Got it?

Legally, grow up? Now there is some great advice! I stopped reading at that point as I am probably talking to a 12 year old. I will not read any more responses from you and will stick with others with more legal knowledge. No offense, but you could use some growing up yourself (pot meet 'angry woman' kettle).

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not asking for your advice on how I should treat my wife's boyfriend. Personally, don't care what some anonymous woman thinks about that.



Who is no one? You are speaking for yourself right? Not that I care anymore since you are an idiot. How dare I compare indeed!



Legally, grow up? Now there is some great advice! I stopped reading at that point as I am probably talking to a 12 year old. I will not read any more responses from you and will stick with others with more legal knowledge. No offense, but you could use some growing up yourself (pot meet 'angry woman' kettle).

LOL LOL LOL LOL ... more legal knowledge? Angry woman? You can go pay an attorney to find out what you were just told. Have a good life wasting time and money on petty insignificant things.

 

[Zigner]

I'm not asking for your advice on how I should treat my wife's boyfriend. Personally, don't care what some anonymous woman thinks about that.



Who is no one? You are speaking for yourself right? Not that I care anymore since you are an idiot. How dare I compare indeed!



Legally, grow up? Now there is some great advice! I stopped reading at that point as I am probably talking to a 12 year old. I will not read any more responses from you and will stick with others with more legal knowledge. No offense, but you could use some growing up yourself (pot meet 'angry woman' kettle).

You're talking to a site-verified attorney there. Might want to rethink your posts

 

[tuffbrk]

Apparently you don't like the advice that you received. Oh well. It is true. You are being asked to grow up legally meaning, from a legal standpoint, from a court's perspective, your attitude is emotional and childish, it is not based on any legalities and you do not have any legal standing to do anything at this point. You could petition the court and ask for ROFR if you find that you cannot cope with BF. Frankly, regardless of who brings the kids to their activities, BF can still show up so I'm not certain going to court for ROFR is worth the money since you will still have to deal with BF.

BTW - the poster that you are so unhappy with is not 12 yo - is an attorney and a court appointed GAL. Just sayin.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

That was not a good response, particularly since it came from an attorney.

You have been given the LEGAL answer. Unless you have an order that says YOU take them if the other parent is not available, or a an order that makes the bounder stay away, it is what it is.

 

[Mr. Goodman]

I don't care

You're talking to a site-verified attorney there. Might want to rethink your posts

My brother in law is an attorney as well, so is my neighbor (Family Law). That doesn't mean I won't want to hear from others. Her response was ignorant all around and 'angry woman' like. Therefore, it was ignored. I will take the advice from a more mature and knowledgable person. Her post history tends to bare the same type of responses that are generally more 'angry woman' than legal. I wasn't born yesterday and know when to avoid a flamer. 'Legally grow up' is a stupid response and no Ohio bar exam is going to change that.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm in Colorado and as I began to read the thread, I had lots of real-world experience, quite close to the OP's, to share.

As I've finished it, I have nothing to say.

 

[Zigner]

My brother in law is an attorney as well, so is my neighbor (Family Law). That doesn't mean I won't want to hear from others. Her response was ignorant all around and 'angry woman' like. Therefore, it was ignored. I will take the advice from a more mature and knowledgable person. Her post history tends to bare the same type of responses that are generally more 'angry woman' than legal. I wasn't born yesterday and know when to avoid a flamer. 'Legally grow up' is a stupid response and no Ohio bar exam is going to change that.

This seems to show that you don't trust the advice of attorneys. In that case, why should any of the volunteers on this site waste their time? If you won't listen to an attorney or three, why would you listen to non-attorneys?

Good day.