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Thread: My Son

  1. #1
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy My Son

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
    I have been fighting to get my son back for two years now. My parents have custody of him at this time. They have said he has been dependent on the sence birth and that is so untrue. Yes I lived with my parents most of the time, but I did work and go to school. I supported my son in every way I could as a young parent. I had got in to legal trouble over unpaid fines and was incarcerated for 10 days. I was served papers while I was in jail that my parents were going for temporary custody. When I got out after serving my 10 days. I come home to find my parents have kicked me out of their home. witch they had right to do. I was over 18 then, but use me having no dwelling for my son. We went to court and I signed Temp Custody to my parents untill I could get back on my feet. Now I am not stating I have not made some mistakes as a parent. I have, but I have been back on my feet for a 1 1/2 years and still can't convince my parents that I am. I had a attorney working my case, but my parents attorney would not contact her back at all. So she said she would have to file a motion and wanted 1.000 dollars up front to do so. Now I would pay a million dollars to have my son home with me, but at this time working a few hours a week will not pay that 1.000 dollars and the bills as well. So I had to let my attorney go. I call my son everynight and visit him on Sudays only. Thats the only day my parents seem to have time. Go figure. I would like to know where should I start going pro se? If I can go pro se. Tried it before and was told by the judge to seek counsel. Unsure of what to do next. Please help in anyway. Thank You.
  2. #2
    justiceadvocate is offline Junior Member
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    why do you keep posting this same issue in multiple threads? Some members have answered it in your first thread. Delete this one and go post in the other one.
  3. #3
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    No I have not got an answer for this situation. I was on here before for my husband and his son. Not me and my son. Thank You!
  4. #4
    lily2467 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justiceadvocate View Post
    why do you keep posting this same issue in multiple threads? Some members have answered it in your first thread. Delete this one and go post in the other one.
    looks to me like its a completely different situation.
  5. #5
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    Thank You very much lily. I would really like some advice if anyone has got any for me. Thank You again.
  6. #6
    justiceadvocate is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lily2467 View Post
    looks to me like its a completely different situation.
    oh ok thanks for pointing that out. I do apologize. I am not a lawyer but you and your husband are having child custody issues? Since you said you are working few hours your parents could and probably will use that against you. Also, since your husband is going through something similar with his ex wife your parents could and probably will use that against you claiming instability in the home. Also you giving custody to your parents said to the courts "i am not fit to care for my son at this time" if your parents have a stable loving home and the child is stable you would almost have to be a stable saint to get it to lean in your favor.

    Courts no longer favor one parent over the other, the consider what is "the best interest of the child." Personally I think you should get everything settled, set a financial budget for your family finances, and try to make nice with your parents. Then after you get everything settled if they wont play nice go before a judge. I wouldnt recommend going before the judge with baggage.
  7. #7
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    Ok. Well my husband is not my sons father. His father is long gone somewhere unknown. Me and my husband do share a child, but we both have children from previouse relationships. My husband is having problems with his ex not giving his son to him. How would that effect me? I have palyed nice with my parents and nothing has worked so far. My son is wanting to come home so bad and I want that for him. They wont even let me see him at school for lunch without telling them first. Is there something I can do about that?
  8. #8
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    I understand that they will consider my husband. I also understand they will use everything againts you in the court of law. Was just wondering. Thank You for your advice.
  9. #9
    justiceadvocate is offline Junior Member
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    All is not lost though. You can enroll in parenting classes. You could have a social services coordinator come out to your home to see you and your husband interact with your other children. Also keep a log of how many times you see or try to see your other son. Basically it's a question of "whats different in your situation now that the child can be placed back with you?"
  10. #10
    cry1603j is offline Junior Member
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    I have tried to have a social worker come to my house, but they say they can't cause they were never involved with my case. So I am lost there.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justiceadvocate View Post
    oh ok thanks for pointing that out. I do apologize. I am not a lawyer but you and your husband are having child custody issues? Since you said you are working few hours your parents could and probably will use that against you. Also, since your husband is going through something similar with his ex wife your parents could and probably will use that against you claiming instability in the home. Also you giving custody to your parents said to the courts "i am not fit to care for my son at this time" if your parents have a stable loving home and the child is stable you would almost have to be a stable saint to get it to lean in your favor.

    Courts no longer favor one parent over the other, the consider what is "the best interest of the child." Personally I think you should get everything settled, set a financial budget for your family finances, and try to make nice with your parents. Then after you get everything settled if they wont play nice go before a judge. I wouldnt recommend going before the judge with baggage.
    We know you are not a lawyer since every post you have made that I have read has been wrong, full of inaccuracies, or just plain stupid. QUIT POSTING.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justiceadvocate View Post
    What does that have to do with you??? I understand your husband is not your son's father. When you got married you became an us. The law is funny in the aspect that you have no rights to children you did not mother, however they have to take you into consideration because you share a home. My fiancee and I arent even married yet but I still have to submit to this homestudy and interview for his custody case because we live together. Your husband having a battle with his ex wife could be seen as unstable and hostile. Also you said you work little hours, so when they ask for an accounting of money you will consider your husband's income because it is household income.

    Child custody brings out the worst in people. Your parents are going to do everything in their power to prove you unfit. If they already have custody you are going to have to provide a compelling argument as to why they should move this child out of a stable environment, in which you placed him in because it was the best interest, to now back into your custody.
    QUIT QUIT QUIT.

    OP, you are going to have to show how your parents having permanent custody of the child is detrimental to said child. Ignore Justiceadvocate.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  13. #13
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justiceadvocate View Post
    All is not lost though. You can enroll in parenting classes. You could have a social services coordinator come out to your home to see you and your husband interact with your other children. Also keep a log of how many times you see or try to see your other son. Basically it's a question of "whats different in your situation now that the child can be placed back with you?"
    WHICH WILL HAVE NO IMPACT if the grandparents have been awarded legal custody. NONE. Custody is considered permanent unless specifically stated to be temporary. Unless the grandparents are willing to give OP her child back, or she can prove that the child is in a detrimental situation, she is not going to win custody no matter how many improvements she makes to herself. YOu have yet to post anything that is correct Justice. SO SHUT UP.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  14. #14
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cry1603j View Post
    I have tried to have a social worker come to my house, but they say they can't cause they were never involved with my case. So I am lost there.
    If your parents have custody (and not temporary custody) you have to prove that there has been a substantial change in circumstance in their life that is detrimental to the child. Forget what Justice is saying. Justice is clueless.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  15. #15
    justiceadvocate is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    WHICH WILL HAVE NO IMPACT if the grandparents have been awarded legal custody. NONE. Custody is considered permanent unless specifically stated to be temporary. Unless the grandparents are willing to give OP her child back, or she can prove that the child is in a detrimental situation, she is not going to win custody no matter how many improvements she makes to herself. YOu have yet to post anything that is correct Justice. SO SHUT UP.
    Ohio I understand you are a lawyer and, but you do not have to be so rude and nasty. I have never pretended to be a lawyer on the contrary I state that I was not a lawyer. Although you are an attorney you do not know how a judge will rule. The best interest of the child standard is very broad. I have never disrespected you or anything. The humane thing to do was to say that is wrong, but to resort to name calling and hatefulness shows your character or lack of. Just like you are a person so am I, but Im so glad I believe in a person reaping what they sow. This is a forum and not a alternate to sound legal advice. I will leave your forum. You have a good day.

    PS since Im so stupid maybe you should look up her state's code and see the factors they include in determining custody. Your are indeed the idiot being that she said the custody was temporary.

    From Section 36-6-101, 36-6-106, and 36-6-407 of the Tennessee Code
    (4) The stability of the family unit of the parents
    (9) The character and behavior of any other person who resides in or frequents the home of a parent and such person's interactions with the child; and

    (10) Each parent's past and potential for future performance of parenting responsibilities, including the willingness and ability of each of the parents to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent, consistent with the best interest of the child.
    Last edited by justiceadvocate; 10-18-2009 at 08:16 AM.

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