My son's father has been an absent parent for 13 years.

[Juls1975]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I divorced my son's father when my son was 2 years old. He has not been in my son's life since then. My son is now 15 years old and his father now wants visitations. I have never denied visitations to the father but he has never before now wanted anything to do with my son.

The father does pay child support only because it is court ordered. When I went to court for the divorce and full custody of my son, his father did not show up for any of the proceedings. The court named me as the residential parent and legal custodian of my son. My son's father shall be granted visitation with the parties' minor child at such times and for such durations as the parties mutually agree. If I do not agree to allow his father to see my son I do not have to let him, right?

My son does not want anything to do with his father. My son asked, "If my dad didn't want anything to do with me for 13 years, what makes him think I want anything to do with him now?"

His father is saying he's going to take me to court for visitations. Is it possible the court will grant visitation if my son tells the judge how he feels about not wanting to be with his father?

Thank you
Juls1975

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I divorced my son's father when my son was 2 years old. He has not been in my son's life since then. My son is now 15 years old and his father now wants visitations. I have never denied visitations to the father but he has never before now wanted anything to do with my son.

The father does pay child support only because it is court ordered. When I went to court for the divorce and full custody of my son, his father did not show up for any of the proceedings. The court named me as the residential parent and legal custodian of my son. My son's father shall be granted visitation with the parties' minor child at such times and for such durations as the parties mutually agree. If I do not agree to allow his father to see my son I do not have to let him, right?

My son does not want anything to do with his father. My son asked, "If my dad didn't want anything to do with me for 13 years, what makes him think I want anything to do with him now?"

His father is saying he's going to take me to court for visitations. Is it possible the court will grant visitation if my son tells the judge how he feels about not wanting to be with his father?

Thank you
Juls1975

It's very likely that Dad will be granted some form of enforceable visitation. No, your son doesn't get to choose. You are correct in that as written if you don't agree you don't have to allow visitation but if you want to play that game you likely won't be happy with the results.


Hope that helps.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I divorced my son's father when my son was 2 years old. He has not been in my son's life since then. My son is now 15 years old and his father now wants visitations. I have never denied visitations to the father but he has never before now wanted anything to do with my son.

The father does pay child support only because it is court ordered. When I went to court for the divorce and full custody of my son, his father did not show up for any of the proceedings. The court named me as the residential parent and legal custodian of my son. My son's father shall be granted visitation with the parties' minor child at such times and for such durations as the parties mutually agree. If I do not agree to allow his father to see my son I do not have to let him, right?

My son does not want anything to do with his father. My son asked, "If my dad didn't want anything to do with me for 13 years, what makes him think I want anything to do with him now?"

His father is saying he's going to take me to court for visitations. Is it possible the court will grant visitation if my son tells the judge how he feels about not wanting to be with his father?

Thank you
Juls1975

Its likely that dad will get some sort of visitation, but based on the fact that dad has been awol for 13 years and based on the fact that your son is 15 its possible that the judge will give him some say in the type and frequency of visitation. I would get your son into counseling now and ask the judge (if dad really files) to order that any visitation start out as therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions.

Honestly? I think that dad should not get visitation until he files for it. I would want to make sure that this whole thing was not some whim on dad's part and that he is really sincere about wanting to get to know his son before you put your child through a lot of emotional upheaval. It would be terrible if dad flaked on him again. Making dad go through court to make it official won't guarantee that he won't flake again, but it will lessen the chance.

The other alternative would be to offer dad therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions and see if he would be willing to do that.

 

[Ohiogal]

Its likely that dad will get some sort of visitation, but based on the fact that dad has been awol for 13 years and based on the fact that your son is 15 its possible that the judge will give him some say in the type and frequency of visitation. I would get your son into counseling now and ask the judge (if dad really files) to order that any visitation start out as therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions.

Honestly? I think that dad should not get visitation until he files for it. I would want to make sure that this whole thing was not some whim on dad's part and that he is really sincere about wanting to get to know his son before you put your child through a lot of emotional upheaval. It would be terrible if dad flaked on him again. Making dad go through court to make it official won't guarantee that he won't flake again, but it will lessen the chance.

The other alternative would be to offer dad therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions and see if he would be willing to do that.

There is a court order granting father visitation. It says as the parties may agree. Mom can refuse HOWEVER if she is being unreasonable in refusing to agree (meaning not allowing dad to stop by for an hour) that will harm her immensely in front of a court.

 

[Zigner]

The father does pay child support only because it is court ordered.

I would like to point out that before it's court-ordered there is no legal requirement to do so.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
I divorced my son's father when my son was 2 years old. He has not been in my son's life since then. My son is now 15 years old and his father now wants visitations. I have never denied visitations to the father but he has never before now wanted anything to do with my son.

The father does pay child support only because it is court ordered. When I went to court for the divorce and full custody of my son, his father did not show up for any of the proceedings. The court named me as the residential parent and legal custodian of my son. My son's father shall be granted visitation with the parties' minor child at such times and for such durations as the parties mutually agree. If I do not agree to allow his father to see my son I do not have to let him, right?

My son does not want anything to do with his father. My son asked, "If my dad didn't want anything to do with me for 13 years, what makes him think I want anything to do with him now?"

His father is saying he's going to take me to court for visitations. Is it possible the court will grant visitation if my son tells the judge how he feels about not wanting to be with his father?

Thank you
Juls1975

In Ohio, Father doesn't have to pay a dime without a court order. Furthermore, by Ohio law all child support is supposed to be paid through CSEA and garnished if at all possible.
What have you told your son about his father? How many times have you denied him contact with his child? How many times have you moved or changed your phone number in the last 13 years? Have you filed those changes with the court each and every time?

 

[LdiJ]

There is a court order granting father visitation. It says as the parties may agree. Mom can refuse HOWEVER if she is being unreasonable in refusing to agree (meaning not allowing dad to stop by for an hour) that will harm her immensely in front of a court.

I think that dad's choice to be awol for 13 years will lessen the chance that mom would look unreasonable in the eyes of the court...particularly if mom is asking for therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think that dad's choice to be awol for 13 years will lessen the chance that mom would look unreasonable in the eyes of the court...particularly if mom is asking for therapeutic visitation in joint counseling sessions.

I don't think so -- not without answers to the questions I asked mom. She hasn't answered them yet.