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NCP doesn't give med's & totes sd around to be w/boyfriend?

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peapie

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My stepdaughter has allergies. My husband and I took her to an allergist to have her tested. The allergist put her on medication. When sd went to mother's for her summer visitation (1mth), husband informed her we ran out of med's but ordered a refill that she could pick up that day. She never picked them up and supposedly got some on-call pediatrician to say she didn't need to give them to her. This pediatrician has never met any of us before. Whether this ped. actually said this or not, of course, is up in the air. Sd's mother is famous for lying. She now refuses to give her the allergy med's saying she was fine during her month in the summer and she doesn't need to be overmedicated like that. When my husband brought her home in the middle of that month for a weekend visit, sd was very obviously suffering from allergies. Her eyes were red, red rings under her eyes and constant coughing and clearing of her throat. This is what prompted husband to call mother and find out she wasn't going to give her the med's. Mother had already had her for 2 weeks before she supposedly got the okay from the ped. to stop giving her the med's. Sd was also admitted into the hospital through the ER once for swelling in her face. The doctors couldn't really figured it out and decided to just call it an infection even though they said it didn't "act" like an infection. Is there anything (legal?) we can do about this? Stepdaughter is constantly telling us her mother won't give her the medication and saying she needs it. Of course, keep in mind that stepdaughter is only 5 (will be 6 soon).

My second question deals with the fact that stepdaughter has been telling us when her mother takes her to motels or other people's homes to spend the night/weekend. She then tells us that this guy is also staying with them when they go. She is not married to him and has always said he is not her boyfriend but stepdaughter says he is and she's seen them kiss. She says when they stay at the motels, her mother & this guy share a bed and when they stayed at this friends house, the 3 of them shared a bed. When she comes back from having stayed in the motels she is groggy and tired. She said once it was because her mother made her and her brother (by a different father) take a late bath w/lots of toys while her mother & this guy were in the other room. While at the friends house she said her mother put her in the friend's son's bedroom (17yo boy who sd says was not there when she was) to watch movies while her mother did "other stuff". Her mother also didn't bother with her homework when they stayed in these motels. "I just didn't look" was her excuse.
We feel she is obviously setting a very bad example and poor morality judgments. She does not tell sd directly that it's okay to do this but has indicated to her that sometimes people just have babies without being married...without ever following it up with "but they shouldn't". I realize we can't control everything she says or does with her daughter, but isn't there something you can legally have put in custody orders about morality?

Sorry this is so long but I appreciate it SO much if you've made it this far!

Thanks!!
 


LegalBeagle

Senior Member
peapie said:
My stepdaughter has allergies. My husband and I took her to an allergist to have her tested. The allergist put her on medication. When sd went to mother's for her summer visitation (1mth), husband informed her we ran out of med's but ordered a refill that she could pick up that day. She never picked them up and supposedly got some on-call pediatrician to say she didn't need to give them to her. This pediatrician has never met any of us before. Whether this ped. actually said this or not, of course, is up in the air. Sd's mother is famous for lying. She now refuses to give her the allergy med's saying she was fine during her month in the summer and she doesn't need to be overmedicated like that. When my husband brought her home in the middle of that month for a weekend visit, sd was very obviously suffering from allergies. Her eyes were red, red rings under her eyes and constant coughing and clearing of her throat. This is what prompted husband to call mother and find out she wasn't going to give her the med's. Mother had already had her for 2 weeks before she supposedly got the okay from the ped. to stop giving her the med's. Sd was also admitted into the hospital through the ER once for swelling in her face. The doctors couldn't really figured it out and decided to just call it an infection even though they said it didn't "act" like an infection. Is there anything (legal?) we can do about this? Stepdaughter is constantly telling us her mother won't give her the medication and saying she needs it. Of course, keep in mind that stepdaughter is only 5 (will be 6 soon).

My second question deals with the fact that stepdaughter has been telling us when her mother takes her to motels or other people's homes to spend the night/weekend. She then tells us that this guy is also staying with them when they go. She is not married to him and has always said he is not her boyfriend but stepdaughter says he is and she's seen them kiss. She says when they stay at the motels, her mother & this guy share a bed and when they stayed at this friends house, the 3 of them shared a bed. When she comes back from having stayed in the motels she is groggy and tired. She said once it was because her mother made her and her brother (by a different father) take a late bath w/lots of toys while her mother & this guy were in the other room. While at the friends house she said her mother put her in the friend's son's bedroom (17yo boy who sd says was not there when she was) to watch movies while her mother did "other stuff". Her mother also didn't bother with her homework when they stayed in these motels. "I just didn't look" was her excuse.
We feel she is obviously setting a very bad example and poor morality judgments. She does not tell sd directly that it's okay to do this but has indicated to her that sometimes people just have babies without being married...without ever following it up with "but they shouldn't". I realize we can't control everything she says or does with her daughter, but isn't there something you can legally have put in custody orders about morality?

Sorry this is so long but I appreciate it SO much if you've made it this far!

Thanks!!
I do not know about the morality, but you can certainly progress the medication issue. I suggest you file a petition to change the custody order to add that the mother most administer all medication. Have it stated that the child has allergies and failure to take proper care could result in xxxxx ..
 

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