She needs to file in VT court to establish custody, visitation and support. Sole custody is not based on the father's response of since before the baby was born or paternity was established as he is NOT legally the father.
1)what steps does she (or should she) need to take in order to establish custody when the father is in AZ and she is in VT. Is it possible to get sole custody based on the father's response and how he treated my daughter before she left AZ (he has/had some serious anger issues) or does it depend on other issues as well. If she does get sole custody what rights does the father have? There is truly a safety issue at stake here for this little guy.
YOU need to stay out of this quite frankly.
2)how would we (my daughter and I) go about having guardianship established for him without any custody established.
Guardianship could easily be overturned if paternity is established after the fact and the father had not been properly served and given a right to due process.
3)does the custody issue need to be settled first or can they be done together?
You would have prove that neither parent could parent this child OR they both agree to guardianship in order to receive guardianship.
4)what is the difference between temporary guardianship and legal guardianship? Would either of those take away the parental rights of either of my grandson's parents, because that is not what we are trying to do.
WE are legal strangers and need to realize our place. YOUR daughter has a child. With that comes a lot of responsibility and she is tied to the baby's daddy forever. She will never be entirely free to just do whatever she wants even with sole custody. Once custody is established she will have to inform the courts EVERY TIME she decides to move and the father can object to the child being moved each and every time. Which opens up a new custody battle possibly.
We just want to create a safety net for this little guy and are not sure how to go about it. So any advice would be helpful and appreciated.
Your daughter may have issues but that doesn't change the fact that once paternity is established, dad's rights are EQUAL to hers when it comes to this child. She cannot just push him out of the picture because YOU or even her do not find him appropriate or convenient. Quite frankly if she didn't think it would be convenient to deal with him she should have had an abortion.
Since she didn't, she needs to grow up and take care of herself and realize that her child has TWO parents and deserves to know and be involved with both of the parents.
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.
Attorney-GAL in Ohio.
I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.