What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
Last year I obtained a 5 year CPO against ex that covers both me & DS as protected persons. I was filing for myself because he was abusive toward me & then he got an OVI with DS in the car. CSB investigated & substantiated abuse, they warned me not to let ex see DS unsupervised. So I got the ex parte order covering us both with the intention to have supervised visitation outlined at the full hearing. Ex got another OVI & wasn't at the full hearing so it was left as is leaving it up to him to file for a modification to seek visitation.
A year later he's never filed anything aside from an objection to child support (which was denied). He's complained to his family that I "won't let him see" DS but has not done a thing to seek visitation legally, he apparently wants me to simply ignore the order (not going to happen, he shouldn't be allowed to see DS until it's supervised & outlined legally). I've held off on filing the modification myself because he has a history of drug & alcohol abuse & was using when we split up & I obtained the order. Until recently I've known nothing concrete about if he was or not, just rumors that he wasn't do well.
Well now I've found out he's picked up a F5 Heroin Possession case & is trying to get into the felony drug court (per the court dockets). My understanding of the felony drug program in this county is that they run a tight ship & don't mess around - you get your stuff together or serve the time. Court weekly, drug testing 2x weekly, maybe rehab, AA, find a job, ect. If I'm going to modify the order this seems like the time to do it as he will already be in an intensive program & having access to ds being tied to his success in that program might be a good motivator.
If I did this would it be reasonable to ask that eventually obtaining unsupervised visitation be contingent on successfully completing the drug courts requirements? And stay compliant with the drug courts requirement to continue supervised visitation? Could it also be contingent on him completing a drug treatment program also, if that isn't going to be required by the drug court? I don't know what is standard as far requirements for supervised visitation in these situations so any of your input & knowledge in this area is much appreciated.
Should I even be considering filing a modification? I can't help but think he made his own mess & needs to clean it up & take the initiative to see his son himself. The mom in me sees my son missing his dad & seeking male attention which breaks my heart, but the rational part of me thinks this is ex's responsibility to take care of & I shouldn't still be fixing his messes. And please no flames, I'm just trying to do what's best for ds in an incredibly messed up situation & looking for input from those who know the ropes better than I. It has never been my intention to keep ds from his dad, only to ensure his safety & well being - mental & physical. I've struggled with whether or not to file in the past but not knowing his dad's state I felt he'd be better not seeing his dad at all for the time being than taking the chance of him seeing dad strung out. Now ex is supposedly clean & living with his sister & trying to get his life together.
Sorry, one more thing - is this a situation I shouldn't even touch without an attorney? With my sons safety on the line if we end up with a less than satisfactory order, I'm thinking I'll need representation if I decide to do this. I think I would be eligible for my local Community Legal Aid Service as I'm very low income & have no criminal record, I'm not positive if they do custody/visitation though.
Thanks!
Last year I obtained a 5 year CPO against ex that covers both me & DS as protected persons. I was filing for myself because he was abusive toward me & then he got an OVI with DS in the car. CSB investigated & substantiated abuse, they warned me not to let ex see DS unsupervised. So I got the ex parte order covering us both with the intention to have supervised visitation outlined at the full hearing. Ex got another OVI & wasn't at the full hearing so it was left as is leaving it up to him to file for a modification to seek visitation.
A year later he's never filed anything aside from an objection to child support (which was denied). He's complained to his family that I "won't let him see" DS but has not done a thing to seek visitation legally, he apparently wants me to simply ignore the order (not going to happen, he shouldn't be allowed to see DS until it's supervised & outlined legally). I've held off on filing the modification myself because he has a history of drug & alcohol abuse & was using when we split up & I obtained the order. Until recently I've known nothing concrete about if he was or not, just rumors that he wasn't do well.
Well now I've found out he's picked up a F5 Heroin Possession case & is trying to get into the felony drug court (per the court dockets). My understanding of the felony drug program in this county is that they run a tight ship & don't mess around - you get your stuff together or serve the time. Court weekly, drug testing 2x weekly, maybe rehab, AA, find a job, ect. If I'm going to modify the order this seems like the time to do it as he will already be in an intensive program & having access to ds being tied to his success in that program might be a good motivator.
If I did this would it be reasonable to ask that eventually obtaining unsupervised visitation be contingent on successfully completing the drug courts requirements? And stay compliant with the drug courts requirement to continue supervised visitation? Could it also be contingent on him completing a drug treatment program also, if that isn't going to be required by the drug court? I don't know what is standard as far requirements for supervised visitation in these situations so any of your input & knowledge in this area is much appreciated.
Should I even be considering filing a modification? I can't help but think he made his own mess & needs to clean it up & take the initiative to see his son himself. The mom in me sees my son missing his dad & seeking male attention which breaks my heart, but the rational part of me thinks this is ex's responsibility to take care of & I shouldn't still be fixing his messes. And please no flames, I'm just trying to do what's best for ds in an incredibly messed up situation & looking for input from those who know the ropes better than I. It has never been my intention to keep ds from his dad, only to ensure his safety & well being - mental & physical. I've struggled with whether or not to file in the past but not knowing his dad's state I felt he'd be better not seeing his dad at all for the time being than taking the chance of him seeing dad strung out. Now ex is supposedly clean & living with his sister & trying to get his life together.
Sorry, one more thing - is this a situation I shouldn't even touch without an attorney? With my sons safety on the line if we end up with a less than satisfactory order, I'm thinking I'll need representation if I decide to do this. I think I would be eligible for my local Community Legal Aid Service as I'm very low income & have no criminal record, I'm not positive if they do custody/visitation though.
Thanks!