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need advice on single parent custody

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melena76

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Alabama

I have a daughter who is almost 6. Her father and I were dating and never married. He has not seen her since just after her first birthday. His name is not on her birth certificate, and we have never been to court. He does not pay child support. He knows that he is her father, but does not claim her. I want him to sign papers stating that if anything happens to me that my parents will have custody of her. She has autism and special needs and could not stand to be uprooted to live with strangers. He agreed to sign these papers, I just need to know what to include in the wording.
Thank you.
 


melena76 said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Alabama

I have a daughter who is almost 6. Her father and I were dating and never married. He has not seen her since just after her first birthday. His name is not on her birth certificate, and we have never been to court. He does not pay child support. He knows that he is her father, but does not claim her. I want him to sign papers stating that if anything happens to me that my parents will have custody of her. She has autism and special needs and could not stand to be uprooted to live with strangers. He agreed to sign these papers, I just need to know what to include in the wording.
Thank you.
I'm not a lawyer but I have been told that children cannot be left in a will.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
I want him to sign papers stating that if anything happens to me that my parents will have custody of her.
And his signing such papers would be worthless.

He agreed to sign these papers, I just need to know what to include in the wording.
So he agreed to sign papers that are worthless for what reason?

Your parents, upon your death, will be given an equal right to file for custody and/or guardianship of your child along with any other living relatives.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
And by the way worried, even IF such a thing were legal, why would this man's signature be worthless in the present situation? ;)
 

melena76

Junior Member
so what about signing legal custody

Okay if papers are worthless if I were to die, could he sign over legal custody to me without going to court? I just want in writing that he is not going to try to take her.
 

cascole

Junior Member
What these folks are trying to tell you is that the 'father' has NO legal rights to the child right now. Until paternity is determined by the court (as you were not married) he is a legal stranger to the child. He can't sign away rights he does not have to begin with.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Okay if papers are worthless if I were to die, could he sign over legal custody to me without going to court?
There is one very big flaw in this even if he did have a legal right to do so.

Would anyone care to comment? :D
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
There is one very big flaw in this even if he did have a legal right to do so.

Would anyone care to comment? :D
OK, I'll bite.

No papers will be valid except court ordered papers. You could ask him to sign away the moon, but until a judge orders that he give you the moon, the moon will stay right where it is.
 
I'll bite, too, although I'm a "rookie" compared to the rest of you! :eek:

IF he were the father AND therefore had rights - you cannot sign away your rights unless there is someone else in line to take over the responsibilities that those rights obligate you to. Someone else has to be stepping up to "parent" the child - like someone ready to adopt the child. The child is entitled to be supported, cared for, and loved by two parents. Although YOUR parents may, as state, file to be those "adoptive" parents if something should happen to you, that cannot be done now.

Please don't send me to the principal's office! Please don't send me to the principal's office! Please...Please...Please! :D
 
BelizeBreeze said:
There is one very big flaw in this even if he did have a legal right to do so.

Would anyone care to comment? :D

I'll try also...You can't sign over custody, even if it were legal, to someone who's already dead. ;)
 

Phnx02

Member
Here's my SERIOUS response......

If you are looking this far into the future and well-being of your child, I would suggest you first establish paternity and a CS order (even if you two agree to not pay one or the other anything - at least have it in writing). This would at least put into record who the legal dad is in case something like this happens. If none of this is in writing or on record, I believe if you are the CP and upon your death, then the courts will make every reasonable attempt to seek out, determine, and notify the father of your child as next of kin for parental rights. He is next in line for responsiblity of the child - not your parents. If he cannot be found, then next in line would be your parents.

If the father is willing to sign such papers now - giving full custody to your parents - MY God Girl - have him sign them now! Even if nothing is on record now that he is the biological father, if you have these papers - as part of your will (of course children can be written into a will), then upon your death, these docs will be reviewed and your ex will then be ordered to take a paternity test to establish the truthfullness of this. And if he's already signed papers saying he gives custody to your parents, then your wishes will be granted (unless he then objects). Doesn't matter if paternity hasn't been established first.....the father of the child is automatically next in line for next of kin and the courts will make all attempts to identify him and award the child to him - before the grandparents. It's like adoption - cannot award custody to someone until both biological parents have first been idenitfied and notified (if can) as having "first rights" to the child.
 

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