need custody of daughter from potentially abusive father

[tward]

What is the name of your state?
i am in texas.
i have a 6 yr old daughter. three years ago i moved to dallas, two hours away from her father. i let her remain with her father and step mother because they had a stable family unit that i felt was better for my daughter at the time. i saw her frequently on weekends. last year they filed custody papers. we have joint custody but becuase i lived over 100 miles away he was the custodial parent with the sole right to determine her residence. i was ordered to pay child support. my family lives 15 minutes from them. in april i came "home" to my families farm to visit and also to have a conference with my daughters teacher. the teacher let slip that my daughter was no longer living with her step mom as there seemed to be problems in the home. after school i confronted her father and found out he and his wife were getting a divorce and my daughter had been living with her grandmother for a couple weeks. he agreed to let my daughter stay the weekend with me. this was friday. on sunday his wife called me to tell me the reason they were divorcing. she said she had caught him watching thru the bathroom window while her 13 yr old daughter was showering. that night i went back to dallas, quit my job on monday and moved to my families farm. later that week i talked him into letting our daughter stay with me for awhile. she has been with me every since, that was april 22nd. just a few weeks ago i told him it was ridiculous for me to be paying child support while she lives wiht me. he said if i would pay to have the custody papers done giving me custody he would sign them. at the time he was coming to my house every day and talking about us getting back together. i had told him from the beginning that wouldnt happen. now that i am in a situation to get the custody papers he says he will not sign them, and in fact wants our daughter living with him again. she wants to be with me, has nightmares that someone will take her from me. he smokes marijuana almost every day, and i have reason to believe he has done so around our daughter. he has no problems using drugs or drinking then putting her in the car with him. also he works nights and leaves our daughter with his elderly mother. his sister and her 5 children also live with his mother, but his sister works nights too. my daughter has told me many times that she hates staying there becuase they are mean to her and she is made to sleep on the floor or couch. when shes with him he leaves her with his mother while he works, sleeps, and runs the streets. and they allow my daughter to run the streets. i desperately want my daughter with me...but i cannot afford a lawyer. i am not working right now and am having difficulty finding a job. also i just found out im pregnant. i have been in a relationship for 3 yrs, but not married. i have been told this will be help against me becuase im having a child out of wedlock. which i think is crap this day and age...but oh well. i have been told to involve cps, to file a material change of circumstance, to file a motion to modify...all sorts of things. i have to admit im a lil overwhelmed and not sure the best action to take to ensure my daughter will remain with me. can someone please help?!?

 

[4LilMan]

I wonder if you could get an emergency custody order. You will probably have to bring your ex's wife with you to do this, but who knows if they will believe it since they are going through a divorce. Are there any legal documents stating the reason that she has filed for divorce? Maybe you can get a copy from her and bring it with you to court? I would try it. I would try anything to get my child away from that perv. and fight for him to have supervised visitation or none at all. That is extemely scary. Since your daugter is having these nightmares, etc. maybe you need to take her for counseling. Then you can find out what is really goin on in the home that is bothering your child. Good luck and update us on the situation.

 

[tward]

thank your for your advice. i think i must be one of the lucky few on this forum. my daughters father called me today and said he was very sorry for the things he said. meaning he was sorry for saying he was going to make her live with him. he said he wasnt going to fight me and that he would let her live with me and basically said he will go along with whatever i do. he said he had just been upset and he knew it was best for her to be with me. so now i need a different type of advice. i still cant afford a lawyer to type up modified custody papers, but the judge who would be handling the case said i can represent myself as long as i present the papers in the correct form. i was planning to simply copy the existing orders since they are less than a yr old, but i dont want to take the chance that they will be wrong and get rejected. can anyone tell me where i might find a template or an example to follow and also what if anything i might need severing the attorney generals interest in my paying child support to him?

 

[Whyte Noise]

tward, what you need to file are custody modification, and child support modification papers. Go to this link:
http://www.cyberstation.net/~paralegal/txmodify.htm#Agreed It will tell what what needs to be done in order to do those things, as well as approximate filing fees. Since your ex is agreeable to your daughter living with you, your modification would be considered an "Agreed Modification", and is about the simplest thing to do. As far as the forms go, I'll look and see if I can find anything online that would help you. You might also call the court in the morning and see if they have the forms you would need there, and what fees, if any, they charge for those forms.

 

[tward]

ok, please dont take this as sounding stupid, i just want to make sure i do this right the first time. so the courts should have the papers i need and they should be able to tell me how to proceed? also if neither of us are going to pay child support, how do i go about getting the child support already ordered dropped?

 

[tward]

ok, please dont take this as sounding stupid, i just want to make sure i do this right the first time. so the courts should have the papers i need and they should be able to tell me how to proceed? also if neither of us are going to pay child support, how do i go about getting the child support already ordered dropped?

 

[Whyte Noise]

Yes, they should have the forms. Explain to them your situation. Tell them that you need to know exactly what forms need to be filed for an "Agreed Modification" of child support, and Conservatorship (custody). Sometimes states want you to file a parenting plan in a custody modification, and some states require that in all custody cases a copy of the UCCJA (I think that is right) is filed as well. Sometimes they also want you to file financial affidavits for CS modifications. I don't know which exact forms need to be filed in Texas. You never said if your ex will pay you CS, or if you are just wanting to drop the CS issue period. Oh, and you will also need a waiver of official service of citation for your ex to sign as well. What that is is just a paper that says he recieved a copy of the court papers for the modifications, and that he agrees to it.