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Need some answers. non-married father. custody

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padadneedshelp

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I am a father of a 3 year old boy. I am in need of some answers about questions of child custody and possible child support.

The Scenario: My girlfriend and I own a home, both names on the mortgage and deed, and we have a son together. Recently she has asked that we separate. I have stayed at the home in fear of losing my contact with my son. At this point in time it has become necessary for me or her to longer occupy the same space. But before I possibly leave I want to know what i need to do that would ensure me custody of my son. I don't care about the house at all. What legal steps should I take, my name is on the birth certificate, no we have not established paternity (no need till now), to give me the best chance of getting custody. I do not drink, smoke, or anything else. Since the separation the girlfriend has gone out at least twice a week, which i document, and sometimes not returned home. I am the one that takes care of my son when she goes out. I just want to know what i can do, i feel my options are relatively limited.:confused:
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
You can file to legally establish paternity/custody/visitation and have acourt recognize your rights.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I am a father of a 3 year old boy. I am in need of some answers about questions of child custody and possible child support.

The Scenario: My girlfriend and I own a home, both names on the mortgage and deed, and we have a son together. Recently she has asked that we separate. I have stayed at the home in fear of losing my contact with my son. At this point in time it has become necessary for me or her to longer occupy the same space. But before I possibly leave I want to know what i need to do that would ensure me custody of my son. I don't care about the house at all. What legal steps should I take, my name is on the birth certificate, no we have not established paternity (no need till now), to give me the best chance of getting custody. I do not drink, smoke, or anything else. Since the separation the girlfriend has gone out at least twice a week, which i document, and sometimes not returned home. I am the one that takes care of my son when she goes out. I just want to know what i can do, i feel my options are relatively limited.:confused:
Do what OG said, however please realize that there is nothing you can do, in advance, to guarantee that you will get primary custody. You will have to demonstrate to the judge that you have been the child's primary caretaker. The bottom line however, is that you and mom are going to be sharing the child for the next 15 years, even if one of you gets primary custody.
 

truebluemd

Senior Member
Do what OG said, however please realize that there is nothing you can do, in advance, to guarantee that you will get primary custody. You will have to demonstrate to the judge that you have been the child's primary caretaker. The bottom line however, is that you and mom are going to be sharing the child for the next 15 years, even if one of you gets primary custody.
i would suggest that before you move out, do what OG advised, and get a temporary order. It will be tough for you to prove yourself as the primary caregiver if you leave the residence and teh kid is still living with mom
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
i would suggest that before you move out, do what OG advised, and get a temporary order. It will be tough for you to prove yourself as the primary caregiver if you leave the residence and teh kid is still living with mom
It may be tough for him to do it either way, since he seems to indicate that mom's going out is a recent thing.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
It may be tough for him to do it either way, since he seems to indicate that mom's going out is a recent thing.
So? That doesn't mean mom has necessarilly been MORE of a caregiver. These days, many cohabiting couples SHARE caregiving, esp. if both work.
 

padadneedshelp

Junior Member
RE: Thanks.

Thank you all for your advice, I am trying to be as prepared as possible. I am very much involved in the caregiving of my son. I am not trying to undermine my sons mother, i just know that I could give him the most stable living environment possible in consideration to his mother. My intentions are only for my sons safety and good upbringing.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thank you all for your advice, I am trying to be as prepared as possible. I am very much involved in the caregiving of my son. I am not trying to undermine my sons mother, i just know that I could give him the most stable living environment possible in consideration to his mother. My intentions are only for my sons safety and good upbringing.
I wasn't suggesting that you were not fully involved. I am saying that if you both work, that it may be difficult for either one of you to prove yourselves as the primary caretaker.

Please understand that no matter what, you are going to be sharing your child with his mother. Whether that's 50/50, or almost 50/50, or one of you as primary. You are going to be sharing your child. You will NOT be seeing your child every day, even if you are primary.

Please wrap your head around that.
 

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