Never married parents - teen son wants to live with bio-dad

[motherbun]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My 16yo son has had no physical contact with his bio father in over 10 years. Support was established in 1997, and an administrative paternity ruling (dad was not present at cs hearing) was made at that time. Bio father's name isn't on the birth certificate. No custody was ever established. Stepdad and I have parented son together for 13 years. Bio lives in SC. Son is unwilling to follow house rules any longer and wants to be allowed to live with Bio dad. Bio dad paid for ticket and son took Greyhound bus to SC last week. He now wants to live there until he graduates in 2008.

We don't want him to live there, but feel son will be angry and uncooperative if he doesn't get to live with biodad. Biodad has numerous out of wedlock children, and has told son that he was able to enroll other sons in school with no problem.

How to proceed from here??What is the name of your state?

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My 16yo son has had no physical contact with his bio father in over 10 years. Support was established in 1997, and an administrative paternity ruling (dad was not present at cs hearing) was made at that time. Bio father's name isn't on the birth certificate. No custody was ever established. Stepdad and I have parented son together for 13 years. Bio lives in SC. Son is unwilling to follow house rules any longer and wants to be allowed to live with Bio dad. Bio dad paid for ticket and son took Greyhound bus to SC last week. He now wants to live there until he graduates in 2008.

We don't want him to live there, but feel son will be angry and uncooperative if he doesn't get to live with biodad. Biodad has numerous out of wedlock children, and has told son that he was able to enroll other sons in school with no problem.

How to proceed from here??What is the name of your state?

Go get your child. He is a child and does not get to make those decisions.

 

[JETX]

How to proceed from here??What is the name of your state?

First, you need to ignore that IDIOT poster. Absent a court order, you have no more legal right to go "get your child. He is a child and does not get to make those decisions."... as the bio-dad had when the child lived with you.

The only LEGAL thing you can do at this point is to try to talk with your son, keep the lines of communication open.... and, if you feel it is warranted, pursue a custody case in court (though I don't recommend the 'damage' it will cause at this point).

 

[motherbun]

Have I relinquished my parental rights in some way? How will biodad be able to enroll son in school or seek medical treatment for him?

 

[stealth2]

Have I relinquished my parental rights in some way? How will biodad be able to enroll son in school or seek medical treatment for him?

Presumably the same way you have...

 

[motherbun]

Doesn't a person who enrolls a child in school have to have some sort of custody over the child?

 

[haiku]

without a CUSTODY order, both you AND the father have the right to enroll the child.

 

[motherbun]

It seems odd that biodad can father children, let the mothers raise them for most of their lives, and then be able to enroll them in school, no questions asked.

So,if son is able to be enrolled in school there, will I still be financially or legally liable for him until his 18th bday in 2007?

 

[haiku]

It seems odd that biodad can father children, let the mothers raise them for most of their lives, and then be able to enroll them in school, no questions asked.

So,if son is able to be enrolled in school there, will I still be financially or legally liable for him until his 18th bday in 2007?

well if he is paying the child suppot ordered in 97, you were NOT raising the child alone.

As to your question, If dad chooses to go to court and request child support, yes.

Until the current order is changed, dad still owes you child support

 

[JETX]

It seems odd that biodad can father children, let the mothers raise them for most of their lives, and then be able to enroll them in school, no questions asked.

Not as odd as someone who makes the decision to NOT pursue legal custody over their child!!

So,if son is able to be enrolled in school there, will I still be financially or legally liable for him until his 18th bday in 2007?

Absent a court order to the contrary, BOTH parents are equally liable for THEIR child!!!

 

[motherbun]

When my son was born in 1989, I never pursued formal custody. I didn't think I needed to because Ohio law, I thought, gave unwed moms sole legal and physical custody.

I don't think $56.00/mo in child support could really be considered assisting in a child's raising in any material way. My son has been fed, clothed, and insured primarily through my husband's income and efforts. Biodad has never sent so much as a birthday card to my son. He has not talked to my son more than once a year since my son was five years old!!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

When my son was born in 1989, I never pursued formal custody. I didn't think I needed to because Ohio law, I thought, gave unwed moms sole legal and physical custody.

I don't think $56.00/mo in child support could really be considered assisting in a child's raising in any material way. My son has been fed, clothed, and insured primarily through my husband's income and efforts. Biodad has never sent so much as a birthday card to my son. He has not talked to my son more than once a year since my son was five years old!!

Don't you get it yet?

What YOU think doesn't matter. The child has a father. Neither parent has legal custody (or you've never stated such) and absent those facts, the bio-father has just as much right to be a parent as do you.

So you choose. this forum cannot solve the problem for you. Only tell you what is LEGALLY possible and at this point, you've been told several times.

 

[motherbun]

Thank you all for your time. My understanding of my rights under Ohio law was mistaken, obviously.

 

[LdiJ]

When my son was born in 1989, I never pursued formal custody. I didn't think I needed to because Ohio law, I thought, gave unwed moms sole legal and physical custody.

I don't think $56.00/mo in child support could really be considered assisting in a child's raising in any material way. My son has been fed, clothed, and insured primarily through my husband's income and efforts. Biodad has never sent so much as a birthday card to my son. He has not talked to my son more than once a year since my son was five years old!!

That may very well be the law in Ohio, and if your son were in Ohio you could certainly fight hard enough to enforce that law.

However, your son is NOT in Ohio....and you have no court orders proving your custody.

In my opinion you should rush to court and get the judge to issue emergency orders...and THEN go get your son. You will have to deal with a rebellious teen, but that is better than one who thinks that he gets to call the shots. Get an attorney NOW.

 

[JETX]

In my opinion you should rush to court and get the judge to issue emergency orders...and THEN go get your son. You will have to deal with a rebellious teen, but that is better than one who thinks that he gets to call the shots. Get an attorney NOW.

And in MY opinion... that is EXTREMELY unlikely to work. The 'child' is now 16 years old. The court will listen to HIS choice of residence.