New Jersey: custody and alcoholism vs rehab?

[MiseryInNJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Ok, with my divorce now safely behind me, apparently others are peppering me with questions.

There's a certain individual I know who is in the midst of something of an unpleasant divorce - he knows he's financially screwed because his soon-to-be-ex has money, lawyers, etc., and basically had a killer prenup for him to sign when they got married.

All that's in the past, now here's the kicker - he says that he thinks he's an alcoholic, and should probably go into rehab. Presumably his soon-to-be-ex doesn't know the extent of his problem, but I'm not sure yet. HOWEVER, he's afraid to do actually check into rehab because he thinks that'll negatively affect his ability to at least get partial custody, joint, or whatever.

Now, I'm guessing that if his wife DOES know about the problem, he's screwed. But if she doesn't know, is he better off keeping his mouth shut, or will going to rehab actually improve his chances (ie: shows he's willing to make the changes needed, etc)

This is completely outside of anything I had personal experience (I almost never drink, and my ex drinks only a little more than I). Is he right in assuming that BEING in rehab is going to cause him more trouble?

Thanks in advance. Yeah, I already told him that he should ask a lawyer about that, as I suspect his "hide it" solution is just asking for trouble (and hopefully he DOES consult with an attorney about this). Still, any other info would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

Truthfully if he is thinking of the CHILDREN, he should go to rehab.

 

[LdiJ]

Truthfully if he is thinking of the CHILDREN, he should go to rehab.

I agree, and I think its highly unlikely that his spouse is not fully aware of the problem. In fact, its highly unlikely that his alcoholism isn't a major factor in the divorce.

 

[MiseryInNJ]

I agree - I think that she MUST know to some extent, and his attempt to hide it will only backfire.

(LdiJ, I think it's hilarious that, given the nature of this topic, your sig is "in vino veritas")

BUT . . let's say his assumptions, as highly improbable as they are, are correct. If he gets some sort of custody, THEN goes into rehab, won't that just have the courts coming down on his head?

Wouldn't going into rehab ahead of time (assuming he even COULD hide it indefinitely, and could hide subsequent rehab indefinitely) be looked upon favorably by the court?

 

[LdiJ]

I agree - I think that she MUST know to some extent, and his attempt to hide it will only backfire.

(LdiJ, I think it's hilarious that, given the nature of this topic, your sig is "in vino veritas")

BUT . . let's say his assumptions, as highly improbable as they are, are correct. If he gets some sort of custody, THEN goes into rehab, won't that just have the courts coming down on his head?

Wouldn't going into rehab ahead of time (assuming he even COULD hide it indefinitely, and could hide subsequent rehab indefinitely) be looked upon favorably by the court?

Going into rehab now, or going into rehab later is most likely going to effect custody. It doesn't matter when it happens in that respect, its going to effect custody. Its not something that he is realistically going to be able to hide either now, or later.

However, the sooner he goes into rehab, the sooner the recovery will be if it sticks...and the better things will be for his children.

 

[BL]

Once he officially enters into some sort of Alcohol counseling/rehab , it will be documented he has a history with abuse,outside of AA meetings and getting a sponsor .

It also will depend on when the divorce starts/ends , and how much sobriety he has under his belt , on how the courts look at the issue .

He would have to successfully complete any rehab. of course and have a good prognosis .

If he really has a problem ,he should deal with it , # 1 FOR HIM , and shouldn't think twice.

He should get an evaluation first.