newbie question

[pccustody]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My girlfriend and I are not married but have two kids. We have all lived together from the birth of the kids to current. What custody laws apply to non-married couples seeking custody?

Sorry if this was already answered, I tried searching. Post link if you have one.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[truebluemd]

did you sign the AOP when the kids were born? are you on the BC?

 

[pccustody]

I'm on the birth certificate, I'm the father, they also have my last name if that matters. What does AOP mean?

 

[truebluemd]

I'm on the birth certificate, I'm the father, they also have my last name if that matters. What does AOP mean?

acknowegement of paternity. its for unwed couples. you and mom sign it in the hospital to acknowledge you are the father. Some courts still require a paternity test regardless, but it usually holds up in court if both parents freely admit

 

[truebluemd]

Legally, you are the father since you signed the AOP. Your rights to the children are equal to mom's.

 

[pccustody]

So the guidelines of child custody still apply as if we were a married couple?
Being that she has not been employed for a few years, has had therapy at a mental institution, and pretty sure would test positive for drug abuse, my custodial chances are excellent.

 

[Proserpina]

So the guidelines of child custody still apply as if we were a married couple?
Being that she has not been employed for a few years, has had therapy at a mental institution, and pretty sure would test positive for drug abuse, my custodial chances are excellent.

You might find that because you tolerated this up until now you don't really get to use it against her.

Therapy would actually give her points, as she'd be seen as trying to get the appropriate help. Unemployment doesn't always enter the equation either.

 

[truebluemd]

So the guidelines of child custody still apply as if we were a married couple?
Being that she has not been employed for a few years, has had therapy at a mental institution, and pretty sure would test positive for drug abuse, my custodial chances are excellent.

You shouldnt take that attitude. No, because the burden of proof is on you. If her mental condition has been treated, and she it has not interference with her parenting, than it wont go far in court. You have to prove she is unfit. If she has been unemployed, does she keep the kids while your working?

 

[pccustody]

I thought mental health was a factor of being unstable? How does her drug abuse mean that I tolerated it? Maybe I had no idea.

 

[pittrocks]

Plenty of people have mental health issues and it doesn't make them unfit. You would have to PROVE that she is currently a danger to herself or the child.

You can't just go on "speculation".

 

[Proserpina]

I thought mental health was a factor of being unstable? How does her drug abuse mean that I tolerated it? Maybe I had no idea.

You said yourself that she was in therapy, which does imply that she's being treated and working on the problem. Millions of CPs have "mental health issues", and unless that issue proves to be a danger to the child (or perhaps herself and others), I wouldn't think it could be used against her in court.

 

[pccustody]

How can I legally prove mental unfit if I am not a doctor?

Has there ever been cases where the courts made the wrong decision resulting in a bad situation? What do they do to correct their mistake?

 

[Proserpina]

How can I legally prove mental unfit if I am not a doctor?

Has there ever been cases where the courts made the wrong decision resulting in a bad situation? What do they do to correct their mistake?

Has she endangered the child at all?

And...just because the court might not rule in your favor does not mean that they were actually wrong in that ruling.

 

[pccustody]

She is a danger to herself. (mentions suicide)

I meant if there was ever a situation where the favored parent turned out to be abusive, provided an unhealthy living arrangement, or just an all out bad parent.

 

[Proserpina]

Suicidal ideation alone probably isn't going to be enough. Can you prove she has threatened suicide? Were there any suicide attempts?

(seniors please correct me if I'm off base here)

Being a bad parent isn't illegal (unfortunately), though if you think (more to the point, if you can prove) that your child is in harm's way there are steps you can take (call CPS? file for a modification?).

Can you actually prove that the situation is dangerous/unhealthy? (the latter is very subjective amongst parents, btw - and simple parenting differences aren't generally good reasons to challenge custody provided kiddy is safe, fed and watered.)