No bedroom?

[frusteratedgf]

What is the name of your state? IL

My boyfriend just filed for full custody of his daughter. One of the main things that the lawyer said would help him win is that she has her own room here, and she doesn't at her mom's house, she shares with her. Does anyone know how much this will really effect the case?

 

[usmcfamily]

Really - unless there are other issues to be raised that will paint the mother as an unfit parent (or at least paint your bf as a better parent) there will likely be VERY little consideration of that fact in the decision made by the judge. Most especially since the child is a girl sharing a room with a woman......were it a child and parent of opposite sex the court may be more concerned about sleeping arrangements. Your BF may want to be careful how much he tries to discredit the living arrangements at the mother's home since your post makes it sound very likely you are living with your BF -- the mother could just as easily question the impact that type of living arrangment would make on the child's moral upbringing......meaning she may well counter the "no bedroom" argument with a "non-marital cohabitation" claim regarding you and your BF.

 

[coolmomof4]

What about when non custodial mom lives with her parents. Child is a boy and there is an unoccupied room in the house (clearly decorated for a girl, like painted pink with dolls in it) and child hates to sleep in there, plus psycho-mom begs and whines for child to sleep in her bed during visits because she "misses him". The boy is 8.

 

[frusteratedgf]

Coolmomof4- I don't really see the big deal with that, as long as the child is not forced to sleep with the mother, and there are other options for him.

usmcfamily- I'm sorry, but I guess I wasn't clear enough. That is just one of the many things that my boyfriend has on her. She can't really say anything bad about the fact that I live with him because he has a e-mail from her telling him that he should have me move in so he could give her more money.

 

[usmcfamily]

One of the main things that the lawyer said would help him win is that she has her own room here, and she doesn't at her mom's house, she shares with her. Does anyone know how much this will really effect the case?

Frustrated......you asked specifically about one "thing" so that is how the answer was worded -- had you included all the details in the original post maybe my answer would have been more to your liking. Regardless of any e-mail you may have from her in the past she could choose to use the living arrangment moral argument at any time.......after all, your BF seems willing to use whatever "dirt" he has on her so she will likely respond in kind by digging up whatever she can as arguments against custody going to him. I am not saying this as a judgement on any of you - just trying to give you a clear picture of what might come up and possible tactics that may be used when it comes time for court. It is always best to prepare for the worst but hope for the best -- so I suggest that be the attitude taken when this comes to court........

 

[ZippityDooDa]

Even though I dont approve what you said to me in my post I thought I would give you some advice...

I am in IL. I commend your boyfriend for trying to fight for his daughter. That is a good man in my books. My lawyer has told me though that if living with a BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND it may come off as having a unstable life. The best thing for you to do is STAY OUT OF IT THE BEST YOU CAN. I know you dont want to hear that. I know its terribly hard but I know this from experiance. Also, I would like to add that it is BEST (not saying this has to be in all cases) to have a room specifcally for the child. The living conditions are a very important part of custody. My son could not have extended visitation (judge ordered)with his father because the father only had a one bedroom apartment and their wasnt any place for the child to play outside. One last thing I would like to add is the fact that it is goingg to be extremely hard for your BF to gain full custody of his daughter. He may be able to gain more visiation with her, but the child usually resides in the custody of the mother(if never married) unless the mother is proved unfit. Its not about who she sleeps with, its not about where she may work, its not about the beater car she may drive, it has to be something like DRUGS, ALCOHOL, ETC.... Try not to do any mud slinging..it will only make your BF look bad in the long wrong. JUST REMEMEMBER THOUGH.. that is his child too! He has every right to see that little girl. Like "usmcfamily" said "It is always best to prepare for the worst but hope for the best" GOOD LUCK TO HIM!