justme2829
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas
I live in Kansas and have a 13 year old daughter with a man I never married. When we split up 10 years ago, it was much more cordial than it is now and we never went to court or talked with a lawyer for any type of custody/visitation order.
My daughters dad is remarried as am I. For the past two years our daughter has been staying at his house during the week as he lives in a different school district that he wanted her to attend. I still pick her up two nights a week and she stays at my house every weekend.
My issue at this point and after all these years is that at some point over these past two years he has taken it upon himself and his wife to do things, make decisions about, our daughter without consulting with me. Some examples would be making doctor and dentist appointments with a doctor I have never met and doesn't inform me that there is an appointment made so I hear about it after the fact. Our daughter has received two vaccinations that I wasn't told about until she mentioned it.
My ex fails to inform me of school activities saying that he thought our daughter would tell me. Please let me remind you our daughter is 13. Thinking about parents is the last thought they have. I have since fixed this issue by asking the school to send me copies of any handouts she may receive.
I am told I cannot call her after 9pm on week nights. I can rarely get anyone to answer any of the phone different cell phone numbers that are at his house.
The biggest issue I am truly concerned about at this time is that our daughter talked to a friend about suicide. Him and I both decided it would be best to have her see a therapist and talk to someone. Nearly two weeks went by and he hadn't mentioned it again and with the health insurance being under his wife, I didn't know what kind of coverage was there and without that information, what kind of therapist could be used. When I texted him that I had found two therapists with great references his reply was that him and his wife had also been 'looking.' I talked to a MSW to get my references. He used the internet and made an appointment with an agency in town that I am not comfortable with. Having worked in the mental health field myself for 11 years, I learned many things about who to go to and not to go to and when I voiced these concerns with him he dismissed them saying that this wasn't about me and what I want.
My question is is there anything I can do to make sure he doesn't continue in this direction of thinking he can make major decisions about our daughter without including me. And vice versa. The older our daughter gets, the bigger the challenges and decisions become and I know this man and he will continue excluding me whenever he can. Where she is educated, which doctor she sees, which therapist to use are all big issues to me and I just can't help but think there could be something I can do to make sure these are group decisions?
It would be difficult for me to afford a lawyer at this time but I am willing to try if there is something that would help insure that this remains a co-parenting situation and not a bullying one.
Thank you so much for anything you can tell me.
I live in Kansas and have a 13 year old daughter with a man I never married. When we split up 10 years ago, it was much more cordial than it is now and we never went to court or talked with a lawyer for any type of custody/visitation order.
My daughters dad is remarried as am I. For the past two years our daughter has been staying at his house during the week as he lives in a different school district that he wanted her to attend. I still pick her up two nights a week and she stays at my house every weekend.
My issue at this point and after all these years is that at some point over these past two years he has taken it upon himself and his wife to do things, make decisions about, our daughter without consulting with me. Some examples would be making doctor and dentist appointments with a doctor I have never met and doesn't inform me that there is an appointment made so I hear about it after the fact. Our daughter has received two vaccinations that I wasn't told about until she mentioned it.
My ex fails to inform me of school activities saying that he thought our daughter would tell me. Please let me remind you our daughter is 13. Thinking about parents is the last thought they have. I have since fixed this issue by asking the school to send me copies of any handouts she may receive.
I am told I cannot call her after 9pm on week nights. I can rarely get anyone to answer any of the phone different cell phone numbers that are at his house.
The biggest issue I am truly concerned about at this time is that our daughter talked to a friend about suicide. Him and I both decided it would be best to have her see a therapist and talk to someone. Nearly two weeks went by and he hadn't mentioned it again and with the health insurance being under his wife, I didn't know what kind of coverage was there and without that information, what kind of therapist could be used. When I texted him that I had found two therapists with great references his reply was that him and his wife had also been 'looking.' I talked to a MSW to get my references. He used the internet and made an appointment with an agency in town that I am not comfortable with. Having worked in the mental health field myself for 11 years, I learned many things about who to go to and not to go to and when I voiced these concerns with him he dismissed them saying that this wasn't about me and what I want.
My question is is there anything I can do to make sure he doesn't continue in this direction of thinking he can make major decisions about our daughter without including me. And vice versa. The older our daughter gets, the bigger the challenges and decisions become and I know this man and he will continue excluding me whenever he can. Where she is educated, which doctor she sees, which therapist to use are all big issues to me and I just can't help but think there could be something I can do to make sure these are group decisions?
It would be difficult for me to afford a lawyer at this time but I am willing to try if there is something that would help insure that this remains a co-parenting situation and not a bullying one.
Thank you so much for anything you can tell me.