I live in Virginia and I know our laws are a bit different here. The situation that I'm in is that four years ago I was happily married and had a good career in the US Navy. I had two kids with my husband and after we got married thats when things went downhill. I went out to sea in the year 2004, before I went on that deployment my husband came to me and said that he wanted a divorce. It broke me apart because I didn't see anything wrong with our marriage so it was unexpected on my part. I come back from the deployment to find out that he's filed for child support on me and left me and took the kids with him. As far as I know there was no court order saying that he had full custody. Child services decided that since I have been in the military, he's had the kids for the longest, I thought that was wrong. The military tried to give me the resources in order to set things straight. My husband refused to take any marriage counseling and started living with friends, his brother, and now currently with a girlfriend and how her lifestyle is, I cannot accept that at all. When I was able to visit my kids, he would always bring her and my boys would always look upset or miserable. Now all of a sudden after I tried to get my child support adjusted, he stopped answering my calls or emails, my kid's birthday was yesterday and my oldest this Friday. I cannot seem to locate them or him. I do not know what to do. It hurts me to know that I missed their birthday. I was discharged from the military due to hardships and I was able to find a steady job and still paying my child support monthly and also have them under medical benefits and everything, but it's not fair to me that I have been working hard to get where I am just so that I can see my kids again. He is very uncooperative and I just have the slightest feeling that maybe his girlfriend is running his life right now and what decisions he makes regarding our kids. I do not feel she has a say in any of it. I keep receiving calls from a private investigator looking for him because their company wants to sue him but I don't even know where he is myself. I just need to know where I should start. Please help.