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Non-custodial parent did not have opportunity to fight for custody

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love3487

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia


Originally, both parents shared custody with no court order. One of the parents went to the court, stating they wanted to file for sole custody of the child, but did not know the other parent's address. The parent filing did know the other parent's address, but lied and stated this to the court. The parent filing then took out a newspaper ad as directed by the court to locate the other parent for the court date. The other parent had no idea of any of this going on. The court date came, with the other parent having no knowledge at all of it, and the parent who filed was awarded sole custody. What can the now non-custodial parent do about this? This happened 2 years ago, when the non-custodial parent gained knowledge of this after being served with child support papers, and was told of the custody hearing by the courts. The non-custodial parent did not have the financial means to obtain a lawyer at the time, was not sure of their options. What can be done now?
 


Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia


Originally, both parents shared custody with no court order. One of the parents went to the court, stating they wanted to file for sole custody of the child, but did not know the other parent's address. The parent filing did know the other parent's address, but lied and stated this to the court. The parent filing then took out a newspaper ad as directed by the court to locate the other parent for the court date. The other parent had no idea of any of this going on. The court date came, with the other parent having no knowledge at all of it, and the parent who filed was awarded sole custody. What can the now non-custodial parent do about this? This happened 2 years ago, when the non-custodial parent gained knowledge of this after being served with child support papers, and was told of the custody hearing by the courts. The non-custodial parent did not have the financial means to obtain a lawyer at the time, was not sure of their options. What can be done now?
First, who are YOU in this? Secondly, why after TWO years is this finally an issue? Why did it take the NCP TWO YEARS to have an issue with it enough to go searching through an internet forum for answers?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
First, who are YOU in this?
$5 says new gf or new stepmom. ;):cool:

Easy $5!

Artemis_ofthe_Hunt said:
Secondly, why after TWO years is this finally an issue? Why did it take the NCP TWO YEARS to have an issue with it enough to go searching through an internet forum for answers?
She only just now decided it was Time. ;)

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/custodial-parent-lying-about-back-child-support-amount-575757.html
 

CSO286

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia


Originally, both parents shared custody with no court order. One of the parents went to the court, stating they wanted to file for sole custody of the child, but did not know the other parent's address. The parent filing did know the other parent's address, but lied and stated this to the court. The parent filing then took out a newspaper ad as directed by the court to locate the other parent for the court date. The other parent had no idea of any of this going on. The court date came, with the other parent having no knowledge at all of it, and the parent who filed was awarded sole custody. What can the now non-custodial parent do about this? This happened 2 years ago, when the non-custodial parent gained knowledge of this after being served with child support papers, and was told of the custody hearing by the courts. The non-custodial parent did not have the financial means to obtain a lawyer at the time, was not sure of their options. What can be done now?
A) Who are you in this situation?
B) By letting two years lapse, there is nothing the NCP can do. His/her inaction was tacit agreement to the situation. Also, by now unless gross negligence or child abuse are occurring, a court will be loathe to upset the status quo.
 

Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
Yeah, that's what I'm betting on. Smacks too much of, "You should have done this before, but since you didn't and don't seem to care enough, and since it does affect me that $100.00 a week is going out to pay HER for the children you had with her... blah, blah, blah."
 

love3487

Junior Member
I am the NCP, so that is not an easy $5.

2 years ago, i did not have the financial means or knowledge to know how to move forward with this. I am young. I am only asking for advice, so any unwarranted sarcasm is not amusing.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
I am the NCP, so that is not an easy $5.
:eek:

love3487 said:
2 years ago, i did not have the financial means or knowledge to know how to move forward with this. I am young. I am only asking for advice, so any unwarranted sarcasm is not amusing.
End the excuses.

What CAN be done is for you to take out your court order and review what it says about parenting time for you. Do you have any? Use it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am the NCP, so that is not an easy $5.

2 years ago, i did not have the financial means or knowledge to know how to move forward with this. I am young. I am only asking for advice, so any unwarranted sarcasm is not amusing.
Then why did you post in the third person?

If you really are the ncp, and you had come to this forum back when it all happened, then we might have been able to provide some help. As it is, there really is nothing you can do about it unless there has been a significant, and negative change in the child(rens) circumstances.

As regards your child support thread, your situation is a perfect example of why child support needs to go through the child support enforcement agency, rather than being private between the parties. Had your child support gone through the child support enforcement agency, no one could dispute how much you had paid.
 

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