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Non-custodial parent may be using drugs

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Proserpina

Senior Member
He was not ok with it, it was a court order. He does not want to send the children over at all but he has to due to the order.

So when Dad raised these issues - that her children were removed because of her drug use and neglect which of course he was able to prove, right? - in court prior to the visitation order being granted....what happened?
 


hiswife22

Junior Member
So when Dad raised these issues - that her children were removed because of her drug use and neglect which of course he was able to prove, right? - in court prior to the visitation order being granted....what happened?
Absolutely nothing, the judge would not listen to him about anything. The judge since has been removed. And the visitation case was dropped (due to her being a no show 3 times). He was told that he should allow her to see them as he sees fit but to be fair. What I am trying to do is go about this the correct and legal way. He does not have proof as this was just brought to his attention, I am just trying to find out how to proceed with the matter.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Absolutely nothing, the judge would not listen to him about anything. The judge since has been removed. And the visitation case was dropped (due to her being a no show 3 times). He was told that he should allow her to see them as he sees fit but to be fair. What I am trying to do is go about this the correct and legal way. He does not have proof as this was just brought to his attention, I am just trying to find out how to proceed with the matter.


Wait.

So now there is NO visitation schedule? Visitation is at Dad's discretion per the most recent court order?
 

sometwo

Senior Member
I cannot say physically harmed, as I am not aware of any physical abuse. They have been removed from her home in the past due to drugs and neglect.
And why didn't dad request drug tests and stuff before all this since there was a history? Like court orders ?

Just because you are caring for the children on a daily basis does not give you any rights.
 

hiswife22

Junior Member
Wait.

So now there is NO visitation schedule? Visitation is at Dad's discretion per the most recent court order?


The visitation order that was set was for her to have them every sunday. The judge told him to allow her to see them, so he has been following that schedule. He has not stopped the visitation due to just being told about the drugs today. This post was to get advice as to how to proceed with the visitation. Can he stop it legally? Since the case was dropped does that mean he can do whatever he wants legally?
 

sometwo

Senior Member
The visitation order that was set was for her to have them every sunday. The judge told him to allow her to see them, so he has been following that schedule. He has not stopped the visitation due to just being told about the drugs today. This post was to get advice as to how to proceed with the visitation. Can he stop it legally? Since the case was dropped does that mean he can do whatever he wants legally?
What specifically does it say?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
The visitation order that was set was for her to have them every sunday. The judge told him to allow her to see them, so he has been following that schedule. He has not stopped the visitation due to just being told about the drugs today. This post was to get advice as to how to proceed with the visitation. Can he stop it legally? Since the case was dropped does that mean he can do whatever he wants legally?


So there IS a court order for visitation.

My previous answer then stands - no, Dad CANNOT withhold COURT ORDERED visitation.
 

hiswife22

Junior Member
What specifically does it say?
The last correspondence from the court just states that the case has been closed due to her being a no show 3 times in a row. He just wants to know how to proceed in the future if drug abuse is happening.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
The last correspondence from the court just states that the case has been closed due to her being a no show 3 times in a row. He just wants to know how to proceed in the future if drug abuse is happening.


*tap tap on monitor*

Hello?

Are you still reading?

I hate to be snarky to a fellow stepparent, but you've already been told.

He needs PROOF that a) Mom is using, and b) Mom's drug use is endangering the children. Tell him to hire a PI.

We're not going to sit here all day going around in circles discussing the best ways to restrict Mom's visitation.

Pro out.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
The last correspondence from the court just states that the case has been closed due to her being a no show 3 times in a row. He just wants to know how to proceed in the future if drug abuse is happening.
That really wasn't the answer I was looking for but either way if there is a court order for visitation the children must go for visitation.

Unless he has proof that she is using he doesn't have much of a chance.

He could always try (anyone can file a motion) to get visitation suspended or request drug test etc. However with just a hunch its unlikely to be granted. With drug history or things like that there is still a possibility (there have been crazier things that's happened.) but its doubtful.

ETA: the possibility was for the drug testing. Not the suspended visitation.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
So there IS a court order for visitation.

My previous answer then stands - no, Dad CANNOT withhold COURT ORDERED visitation.
Barring convincing evidence of imminent harm - which doesn't seem to be the case here. If there is real, solid evidence that the children are in danger, the parent can prevent visitation long enough to get a court order on the matter. But, in general, it's better to call CPS if you have that kind of evidence rather than putting yourself into the middle.

The last correspondence from the court just states that the case has been closed due to her being a no show 3 times in a row. He just wants to know how to proceed in the future if drug abuse is happening.
In the future:

1. He has to follow the court ordered visitation. No questions asked. If Mom wants the kids during her court ordered time, he has to let her take them (other than the above).

2. If he feels that the children are in imminent danger, he calls CPS. Be aware, however, that he'd better not make false accusations because it will hurt him badly. He needs evidence that something is endangering the kids. If there is evidence that the mother is using drugs in the presence of the kids, that would be sufficient. If Mom is smoking a joint in the middle of the week when she won't see the kids for 4 more days, it probably doesn't mean a lot.

It's really quite simple.
 

jsm_colegio

Junior Member
I will not butt out entirely as I take care of these children on a daily basis and their safety is my concern as well as his.

I am trying to find out how to make it more than rumors and hearsay. She has had her children taken away in the past for the same reason.
And you do well by not "butting out". Not because you are "legally" unable or allowed to go to court and fight for these children mean you have to sit and let all go down the drain, this is YOUR family too! Just be careful to differentiate between gossip and reality and let your husband do the talking.
 

1ProSe

Junior Member
Having had personal experience with this very issue I would like to respond.

Mu brother in law was alleged to be a drug user (marijuana) by the mother of the child, they have joint custody, physical and legal. The mother alleged the drug use during a visitation hearing. The information the mother presented the judge was verbal testimony offered by my brother in law's sister. My brother in law recently called CPS on his sister because she was DUI with the kids in the car. She was arrested and charged with DUI and neglect, endangerment, etc. Now this sister goes and tells the mother of the child with which whom she is friends that my brother and law smoke pot. So the mother offers this as information in court. The judge makes a court order for my brother in law to submit to random testing over the next 30 days as well as hair follicle testing (one time) as well.

My brother in law does the tests and comes up negative.

The court order is dismissed.

My brother in law walks downstairs to the clerks desk and files a lawsuit against the mother.

Anyone wanna guess what for??

In court, its not about what you know or what you think you know, its about what you can PROVE. I advise you to proceed with this very cautiously, you could easily get locked at the hip on something like this in federal court for many years.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
And you do well by not "butting out". Not because you are "legally" unable or allowed to go to court and fight for these children mean you have to sit and let all go down the drain, this is YOUR family too! Just be careful to differentiate between gossip and reality and let your husband do the talking.
LEGALLY she needs to butt out. LEGALLY she has no rights. LEGALLY she needs to know her place as do you. Emotionally -- that is down the web two sites and under drphil.com
 

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