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  1. #1
    jaw043 is offline Junior Member
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    Is it normal to have a custody/visitation rights for a newborn?

    What is the name of your state? Calif.

    I am the CP of a newborn son and i think
    it is too early for him to be going
    back and forth fr. my home to my xbf home which
    is about 45 to an hr away fr. where i live.
    What are my chances of keeping my son as much
    as possible? Right now i'm giving him a right to take
    him home every other weekend which i'm not sure
    if it is a good idea since he's only two months old
    and i am breastfeeding. How do i prove to the court
    that he is unfit to take care of him? We communicate
    mostly be texting each other by cell phone and there
    were times when he has said that he has not been able
    to feed my son as directed by a doc. (about every 2 hrs)!!
    Is that a good reason to bring up in court? I really don't
    want my son to be under his care not because i want
    to take care of him but because he's only a newborn and
    he doesn't even have any experience taking care of a newborn.
    Anyone in here went through the same situation?
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    What is the name of your state? Calif.

    I am the CP of a newborn son and i think
    it is too early for him to be going
    back and forth fr. my home to my xbf home which
    is about 45 to an hr away fr. where i live.

    Oh well> Dad will get a custody visitation plan if he takes you to court.
    What are my chances of keeping my son as much
    as possible?
    Meaning dad gets nothing? Slim and none.

    Right now i'm giving him a right to take
    him home every other weekend which i'm not sure
    if it is a good idea since he's only two months old
    and i am breastfeeding.
    How many days is the baby at our house? When did you first have the child for overnights? Your breast milk issues do NOT matter.

    How do i prove to the court
    that he is unfit to take care of him?
    Why do you think he is unfit? Because quite frankly you will NOT prove that. Unless of course you also want to prove that YOU are unfit to be responsible for this child.

    We communicate
    mostly be texting each other by cell phone and there
    were times when he has said that he has not been able
    to feed my son as directed by a doc. (about every 2 hrs)!!
    Why does your son need fed that often? Most babies eat every three to four hours.

    Is that a good reason to bring up in court?
    Ummm, answer my question first. How often is dad feeding the baby?

    I really don't
    want my son to be under his care not because i want
    to take care of him but because he's only a newborn and
    he doesn't even have any experience taking care of a newborn.
    Quote ALL of your experience taking care of YOUR child before you gave birth to this child. Come on. All of your experience -- I am waiting. As are all of us. Did you have to take a parenting class? Pass a test before you were allowed to deliver? Come on.

    Now quit being stupid and realize that you are looking like a complete and total fool.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    Perky is offline Senior Member
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    I'm curious... is your reason for denying visitation monetary or for your child's best interests?
    [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=403898[/url]
  4. #4
    masopa is offline Member
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    Just to throw this out there, jaw.

    Beginning weeks after my son was born I began having every other weekend and twice a week visitation - by verbal agreement only. When my son's mother began denying me placement we went to court and I got 50-50 custody and placement. My son was less than 6 months old at the time.

    It can happen, and will, especially if you look like you're trying to be keep the child away from dad.
  5. #5
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by perroloco2 View Post
    I'm curious... is your reason for denying visitation monetary or for your child's best interests?
    [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=403898[/url]
    Looks like Perky has figured out the OP....
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    I am going to mention one thing....

    It isn't really normal to have that kind of visitation with a newborn, in great part because most new mothers won't agree to that and until things are legally established, they are basically in control of the situation. Normally it takes a good six months for the legal wheels to spin.

    Some times it works faster than that, but even then, its more the norm to take things in phases rather than jumping straight into every other weekend.

    My state's guidelines, for example, promote frequency for infants rather than length. My state's guidelines want an infant seeing the ncp no less than three times per week, but doesn't promote overnights until the child is 19 months old, unless the child and ncp were previously living in the same home, or unless there are older siblings also on the same schedule.

    Yet, as a previous poster mentioned he got 50/50 placement at six months which is honestly a little unusual in general, but even more unusual that it got through court that fast.
  7. #7
    Perky is offline Senior Member
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    She states in her other thread that there is an agreement for EOW, and she wanted to know if that will lower her support when she files for it. I assumed she meant that the visitation was already court ordered.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Yet, as a previous poster mentioned he got 50/50 placement at six months which is honestly a little unusual in general, but even more unusual that it got through court that fast.
    In Cali... we promote everyone STARTING their case with the summons, petition AND an OSC (all together) to establish temporary orders and get everyone into mediation within 6 - 8 weeks of the action being filed. If dad had been smart enough to file the action while mom was still pregnant, it is likely this whole thing would have been finished already.

    It's the rest of the junk that keeps people in and out of court and yes, dad WILL get 50/50 of the newborn round these parts if he asks for it. Breast milk or not.
  9. #9
    jaw043 is offline Junior Member
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    No my xbf and i only have a verbal agreement for now and ever since he
    had asked for a custody i gave it to him because he keeps pressuring me
    and so as his parents who he lives with. Every weekend that i see them
    they keep asking me to have more time with our son! Now he wants to keep
    him every weekend instead of every two weeks. I think its just fair that i get
    to keep him on weekends also even if i have him mon thru fri.. Plus even if he
    gets 50/50 i don't think he can do it because he works mon thru fri......
  10. #10
    majomom1 is offline Senior Member
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    OP is already letting Dad have every other weekend - trying to change it now would look really bad.
  11. #11
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaw043 View Post
    Plus even if he gets 50/50 i don't think he can do it because he works mon thru fri......
    Ya know.... come to think about it. I've had custody 100/0 since my child was born and can you believe this???? I managed to work a full time job Monday - Friday too?

    When he was newborn, I was in the middle of college, so not only did I work Mon - Fri, but I was in school full-time (14 units) too. Then, when I got my degree, I actually worked 2 JOBS still with 100/0 custody. Believe it or not, and I know this may come as a shock to you.... but people with 50/50 custody DO in fact have jobs Mon - Fri and they make it work. Heck, I know fire fighters and doctors that work 2 and 3 day shifts STRAIGHT that are custodial parents.

    As I recall, it would have been much easier if someone had kiddo 50% of the time
  12. #12
    Perky is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaw043 View Post
    No my xbf and i only have a verbal agreement for now and ever since he
    had asked for a custody i gave it to him because he keeps pressuring me
    and so as his parents who he lives with. Every weekend that i see them
    they keep asking me to have more time with our son! Now he wants to keep
    him every weekend instead of every two weeks. I think its just fair that i get
    to keep him on weekends also even if i have him mon thru fri.. Plus even if he
    gets 50/50 i don't think he can do it because he works mon thru fri......
    Will you be a stay-at-home mom? If so, then your ex could pick him up after work, then return him in the morning before work. Then it would be 50/50 with EOW. But again, how does this whole discussion figure into your concern about the amount of child support you will be awarded?
  13. #13
    jaw043 is offline Junior Member
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    Is it normal to have a custody/visitation rights for a newborn?

    I do have a daughter fr. a previous relationship and i did take parenting class before as well as prenatal classes and my x has never dealt with kids before! My pediatrician was
    the one who mentioned about feeding him every 1 hour even! lol because he had a jaundice that time then after that every 2hrs....
  14. #14
    Perky is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaw043 View Post
    I do have a daughter fr. a previous relationship and i did take parenting class before as well as prenatal classes and my x has never dealt with kids before! My pediatrician was
    the one who mentioned about feeding him every 1 hour even! lol because he had a jaundice that time then after that every 2hrs....
    If your ex is living with his parents, then I presume that his mother has the requisite experience to take care of a newborn.
  15. #15
    jaw043 is offline Junior Member
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    Is it normal to have a custody/visitation rights for a newborn?

    he works fr. 5 am to 1 pm
    i even asked him to go for 50/50
    he doesnt want to. Too much hassle
    for him to be picking him up and dropping
    him off on weekdays and ofcourse for the
    baby... i'm working pt for now i think its a
    lil stressful for me to be going full time with
    two kids! i have to pay about $700 a month
    of rent plus utilities has gone up because of my newborn
    and my x is not because he's living with his parents! he only pays cell
    phone, internet bills, etc. nothing more than $400.
    ofcourse i'm gonna be needing some cs from him
    im taking care of his son more than he does right?
    i think even if he gets to have him every other weekend
    i still can receive some cs fr. him hopefully!!!!

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