notice of intent to relocate

[arianamommy1]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My daughter was born out of wedlock...her father and I have not gone to court for visitation or child support. Altho we did have a verbal agreement for her visition and support(which he is no longer co-operating with). My question is will I need to take him to court for custody and relocation? Or since there is no case or court order, will me being her mother be enough to allow me to move out of state?

 

[proud_parent]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My daughter was born out of wedlock...her father and I have not gone to court for visitation or child support. Altho we did have a verbal agreement for her visition and support(which he is no longer co-operating with). My question is will I need to take him to court for custody and relocation? Or since there is no case or court order, will me being her mother be enough to allow me to move out of state?

Sidestepping the question of what is legally required of you for a moment...why would you not first discuss this with the father to determine whether he would object to the move?

 

[arianamommy1]

Well, i already know he will say no...

 

[LdiJ]

Well, i already know he will say no...

You don't need his permission to relocate. However, he could rush to court for custody/visitation/child support at that point and try to convince the judge to order you to return the child to the original home state/community. If the judge makes that order, and you don't comply with the order, then you could lose custody of the child.

Why do you want to move? However far away are you planning on moving?

 

[arianamommy1]

Well first off let me tell you how i ended up in this state, just to help you better understand the situation. I moved to florida in 2004 to help my mother thru a very horrible divorce, she is also disabled due to an accident. Once her divorce was finalized i had planned on moving back to ohio, but then i met the babys father. Fell in love fast, got pregnant even faster....we then agreed that i wouldn't work for the 1st year(including pregnancy and after she was born). Since i had moved from ohio to florida i sold my vehicle back home, when i moved into the babys fathers house, he always let me use his 2nd vehicle. Now when we broke up (9 months after she was born), i was left w/ no assets...car, home, $$...i moved into my mothers house, and by that time her house was on the market and had sold. So then it was time to care for my daughter and help my mom w/ getting the house packed up (huge house, w/ RV garage packed with stuff...top to bottom, side to side, front to back)...anyway, huge task! Then there was gettin us moved into the new home. So thru-out all this time i barely had time to start gettin my own life together, now i'm in a position where I have more oppertunity to do that in Ohio...because, i'd have more help there than i would here. All I want to do is get my life on track for my daughter and myself.....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What kind of relationship does your child have with her/his father now?

Why did you choose NOT to go thru the courts?

 

[arianamommy1]

well from the time she was born till the time i moved her and i out of his house...she was ignored by him A LOT!! he would come home and drink beer and watch football. after that it got better, but he was always cancelling on her AT LEAST once a month. then he started dating a new girl, i didn't like her much at first but that was because of the things he had told me in the past. i actually like her now, but since he's been w/ her he sees her less and less every month. she cries when she's got to go w/ him, and jumps out of his arms when she comes back to me. She comes back w/ a horrible attitude too, hitting and bad temper!

 

[arianamommy1]

as far as not goin thru the courts, at that point i just wanted to believe he was a good person...and that we could handle this on our own...i was WRONG!!!

 

[LdiJ]

One thing that I am unclear on, is just how much time dad spends with the child. You mentioned that he cancels on her etc., but you have never spelled out exactly what kind of time he is supposed to be spending with her, vs how much time he is. That could be a significant factor in court.

 

[arianamommy1]

well he works nights, so for instance thiss week he picked her up monday morning but his girl friend watches her all day instead of bein in his care. and she gets dropped off the next afternoon. he gets her again friday morning(again in his girlfriends care all day), and drops her off saturday afternoon. then next week he gets her wednesday morning(girlfriends care all day), and comes back thursday aternoon. the time that she is actually in his care is from the time shes picked up to the time shes dropped off, shes only in his care about 50-55% of that time. and thats not to mention his cancelation and when he dumps her off on others to go out n drink. the fact that his girlfriend watches her was brought to my attention by her, came from her mouth(the girlfriend). and dropping her off on others was told to me by him(the father).

 

[Silverplum]

And you've NEVER had ANYONE watch her other than you?

Ever?

well he works nights, so for instance thiss week he picked her up monday morning but his girl friend watches her all day instead of bein in his care. and she gets dropped off the next afternoon. he gets her again friday morning(again in his girlfriends care all day), and drops her off saturday afternoon. then next week he gets her wednesday morning(girlfriends care all day), and comes back thursday aternoon. the time that she is actually in his care is from the time shes picked up to the time shes dropped off, shes only in his care about 50-55% of that time. and thats not to mention his cancelation and when he dumps her off on others to go out n drink. the fact that his girlfriend watches her was brought to my attention by her, came from her mouth(the girlfriend). and dropping her off on others was told to me by him(the father).

 

[wileybunch]

well he works nights, so for instance thiss week he picked her up monday morning but his girl friend watches her all day instead of bein in his care. and she gets dropped off the next afternoon. he gets her again friday morning(again in his girlfriends care all day), and drops her off saturday afternoon. then next week he gets her wednesday morning(girlfriends care all day), and comes back thursday aternoon. the time that she is actually in his care is from the time shes picked up to the time shes dropped off, shes only in his care about 50-55% of that time. and thats not to mention his cancelation and when he dumps her off on others to go out n drink. the fact that his girlfriend watches her was brought to my attention by her, came from her mouth(the girlfriend). and dropping her off on others was told to me by him(the father).

Keep in mind that you don't know what goes on in his house, you only possibly know some things and might assume or speculate on others. You don't know if dad sneaks in to watch her sleep at night, puts his face close enough to smell her breath, strokes her hair, takes pics of his sleeping angel, greets her in the morning while she rubs sleep from her eyes, snuggles with her at bedtime, comforts her at night when she has a bad dream, helps her brush her teeth, etc. There are so many parts to be a parent, making a difference in a child's life, teaching, role modeling, etc. He doesn't need to be a stay-at home parent or have no outside interests to matter in her life.

 

[arianamommy1]

from the day she was born to this very moment i can count on 1 hand how many times i've asked sum1 to watch her....i only do "my own thing" when shes at her fathers. i don't have any intention on keeping her from her father, i am more than willing to set up visitation w/ him(at my expense if need be). yes theres always 2 sides to a story....but why attack me? i just want to give my daughter a good life and to do that...i need to take advantage of the oppertunities presented to me. as far as his "caring" goes...this is a man that didn't even bother calling to see how his daughter was while she and i were visiting in south carolina for over 2 weeks. he has stopped paying child support knowing my funds are low, and knows he should be paying it!

 

[Silverplum]

from the day she was born to this very moment i can count on 1 hand how many times i've asked sum1 to watch her....i only do "my own thing" when shes at her fathers. i don't have any intention on keeping her from her father, i am more than willing to set up visitation w/ him(at my expense if need be). yes theres always 2 sides to a story....but why attack me? i just want to give my daughter a good life and to do that...i need to take advantage of the oppertunities presented to me. as far as his "caring" goes...this is a man that didn't even bother calling to see how his daughter was while she and i were visiting in south carolina for over 2 weeks. he has stopped paying child support knowing my funds are low, and knows he should be paying it!

I'm not *attacking* you. I'm asking very pertinent questions that you will be asked by a judge/magistrate/mediator/GAL/etc.

You can't make claims and not be able to back them up with reasonable, logical, proveable facts.

The next questions are: so, you don't work at all? Who supports you? Why do you not work to support your child? Do you realize you are also responsible to provide support for your child?

 

[arianamommy1]

I'm very aware of that. at this time i'm helped by my mother, we had agreed upon this when i moved back in. in return to her helping me, i helped her. she is disabled and was unable to move out of the old house and move into the new 1, and definately not able to hire moving workers to pack up her belongings. now that all that has finished, i'm tryin to get on my feet..but with the situation that has been delt to me it will take me years here. as to where if i move out of state, i will take off a lot less time of getting our(my daughters and mine) world the way it should be. i definately appreciate the feed back, does help me a lot! i know its heart breaking to move her away from her daddy, but this isn't about trying to hurt him...or her for that matter. i need to get things right for my daughter and myself, and like i said....i need to take advantage of whats presented to me. i feel if the move is going to be made, it should be done sooner rather than later.