Notice of intent to relocate (I don't have 30days) :-(

[JeninFla708]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
I am living in Fl. needs to relocate back here to NY due to the fact that I am sinking financially. I have been unemployed for 9 months and has had no job offers dispite the many resumes I have sent out. I have two children (ages 9 & 4 1/2) and am divorced. My original order (dated 6/06) is very non specific due to the fact that my ex-husband moved out of state, re-married, etc. He was gone approx. 1 1/2 yrs. before he moved back to Fl. Now that I need to move because I hold a NYS cosmetology license and have my family in NY to give us a place to live, their Father has stressed that he won't agree to the move. Our order has no radius clause, etc. Even with respect to visitation, it only states that we will work it out amoungst ourselves verbally with respect to their school scheduling, etc. (because of him being out of state at the time)
I was told I had to notify their father in writing and submit a "notice of intent to relocate". (which I did today). We've read the provisions which state their father has 30days to respond, etc. but my main question to you is what can I do if I was planning on leaving before a hearing date is given and even possibly as soon as within the next few days. My rent isn't paid and I have no where else to go. I am now living under the threat of eviction, etc.
Can I go to NY if the court is rightfully notified as is their father and await court decisions, etc., while staying here in NY?? How can the court expect me to stay in Fl. for over 30 days until he has responded if we are in such despair? I have noted on my paper work that I am looking for an emergency hearing, (which was denied within 2 hrs. with no explanation). Please advise as much as possible and be specific, I TRULY appreciate any help in this matter. Let me know if you need any further information.

ps: I actually had thought about the "visit" solution and saw that it isn't considered relocating if it's less than 60 consecutive days, but my only concerns were: I will have to withdraw my children from school and enroll them in NY and I will virtually have no residence in Fl. anymore because I have to have my things removed due to non-payment of Oct. rent. Any insight on how the court would handle this?
Jennifer

 

[CourtClerk]

Solutions:

1. Leave the children in FL with their father. It is their father, you know. He ought to be able to care for them. You can go to NY and live, but the kids have the right to access to both parents. You may have to leave before the allowed 30 days to appeal your move, but the kids don't have to go anywhere.

2. Take your NY cosmetology license and figure out how to convert it to a FL cosmetology license. Why in 9 months you haven't already done so is beyond me, but perhaps you have a really good reason.

3. Stay where you are until you can move legally.

No one here is going to help you circumvent the law.

 

[JeninFla708]

Solutions:

1. Leave the children in FL with their father. It is their father, you know. He ought to be able to care for them. You can go to NY and live, but the kids have the right to access to both parents. You may have to leave before the allowed 30 days to appeal your move, but the kids don't have to go anywhere.

**Their father has never show ANY interest in involving himself in full time physical custody or responsibility. Yes, he "ought" to be able to care for them, I agree. I wish I could get him to think this way. When he left, he took off to West Virginia to start a new life with no regard as to the affect on our children and I was left to pick up the pieces. I have been their ONLY stable parental figure in their lives and I couldn't imagine how it would impact them if they felt that I too "abanded" them, which are feelings they had to get through when they father left. I did everything in my power, including driving them to Virginia for his visitation to ensure maintaining ties for their sake.
Therefore solution #1 would absolutely NOT be in the best interest of the children.

2. Take your NY cosmetology license and figure out how to convert it to a FL cosmetology license. Why in 9 months you haven't already done so is beyond me, but perhaps you have a really good reason.

**Yes, I have good reason.. It would have taken me almost 6 mos. & 5,000 and I would have also had to pay childcare for all those hours on top of that. Father ONLY takes them every other weekend (bringing them back very early Sunday morning), even though I try to encourage more time for them to spend together.

3. Stay where you are until you can move legally.

**I would if I could afford to. My unemployment ran out this week and I have been unable to secure a job, therefore my rent is now unpaid and I will be facing eviction. I have family support in NY and am "very" open to and encourage liberal visitation with their father.

No one here is going to help you circumvent the law.

**I am in NO WAY asking for help to circumvent the law. I have been educating myself as to the laws and following them to the tee as I stated in my original post. My question was... Does anyone here "know" what the laws are in a case when the primary custodial doesn't have 30 days to wait for a response to the "notice of intent to relocate"?
I know I can visit my family (up to 60days) in NY and of course would notify the courts as to where we are in order to correspond with & attend any hearings that may occur. But, I would legally have to have them attending school, etc.
This is where is is very "fuzzy" in everything that I have read.

I thank you for all of your well thought out advice.. Keep up the good work!!

Victoria

 

[Nativity]

Jennifer

Victoria

 

[stealth2]

Ditto Nativity's confusion.

If you decide to relocate prior to the court giving you permission, you can pretty well expect that the children will be ordered returned to FL - with or without you.

Your request for an emergency hearing was denied because the situation is not, in the eyes of the court, an emergency. Surely you knew a month ago, 2 months ago, etc., that this was a possibility. The fact that you waited until the 11th hour does not make it legally an emergent situation.

Over the course of the last nine months, there really were any number of actions that you could have taken. There is lots of help out there for single parents in need, especially "displaced" homemakers/spouses. Both in terms of food and housing, as well as job training. It's unfortunate that you didn't avail yourself of those resources earlier.

Honestly, given that you have a 9yo, there were lots of years when you were still married that you could have become certified in FL. I know that sounds unsympathetic, but it's a very poor idea for anyone to leave themselves in a position of being unable to support themselves should they need to. At this point, I would likely see what your family can do to help you remain in FL for the time being - at least until the court ruling. And in the meantime, start looking for work. This time of year, even with the poor economy, lots of places are looking for seasonal help. You won't get rich off it, but it will help. And start looking at some of those other resources.

 

[nextwife]

I have been unemployed for 9 months and has had no job offers dispite the many resumes I have sent out.
Jennifer

A. If your spelling here is representative of what was sent out, it is understandable that an employer may have blanched.

B. What did you do BESIDES send out resumes to secure a position? Despite having applied for many jobs using online or US mail application processes, not one significant job was ever attained by me without actually getting out there and seeing people in person, walking in the door, networking through business groups etc. One cannot sit home, send out resumes and expect success.

 

[CourtClerk]

**Their father has never show ANY interest in involving himself in full time physical custody or responsibility. Yes, he "ought" to be able to care for them, I agree. I wish I could get him to think this way. When he left, he took off to West Virginia to start a new life with no regard as to the affect on our children and I was left to pick up the pieces. I have been their ONLY stable parental figure in their lives and I couldn't imagine how it would impact them if they felt that I too "abanded" them, which are feelings they had to get through when they father left. I did everything in my power, including driving them to Virginia for his visitation to ensure maintaining ties for their sake.
Therefore solution #1 would absolutely NOT be in the best interest of the children.

Dad has the children every other weekend. That's a whole lot more interest than a lot of people show in their children. At some point, you're going to have to learn to leave out all this emotional crap and deal with the legal realities and reality itself. You aren't too stable. You're unemployed, about to be homeless. How is that for stability for children? Not to be mean, but come on...

**Yes, I have good reason.. It would have taken me almost 6 mos. & 5,000 and I would have also had to pay childcare for all those hours on top of that. Father ONLY takes them every other weekend (bringing them back very early Sunday morning), even though I try to encourage more time for them to spend together.

Uhhh... no, that wasn't a good reason. It's a piss poor excuse though. I didn't get a degree in math, but almost 6 months is less than 9 months of unemployment last I counted. There are a TON (even in this economy) of programs that would have helped you pay for the cost and childcare, and if you're already licensed, I doubt it would have taken you 6 months to get a license. My cousin moved from CA to FL with her cosmetology license and it didn't take HER 6 months to get a FL license. She was working in no time. This... shows me you never did the research. If it were Monday, I'm sure I could make a quick phone call and find out what the process entailed. I can bet it wouldn't be 6 months or $5000.

As for him bringing the kids back very early Sunday morning... I wonder how single parents who have no help get themselves through college. They get NO every other weekend... and often have to get up early Sunday morning anyway.

**I would if I could afford to. My unemployment ran out this week and I have been unable to secure a job, therefore my rent is now unpaid and I will be facing eviction. I have family support in NY and am "very" open to and encourage liberal visitation with their father.

Was the end of your unemployment a surprise? Was this a situation where you thought you were going to get unemployment benefits indefinitely and at the last minute they said... your benefits are going to end in a month?

Does anyone here "know" what the laws are in a case when the primary custodial doesn't have 30 days to wait for a response to the "notice of intent to relocate"?

The family code doesn't make an allowance for when one party waited until the last minute then decided they didn't have 30 days to wait. The law is the law.

B. What did you do BESIDES send out resumes to secure a position? Despite having applied for many jobs using online or US mail application processes, not one significant job was ever attained by me without actually getting out there and seeing people in person, walking in the door, networking through business groups etc. One cannot sit home, send out resumes and expect success.

First, she ought to decide whether her name is Jennifer or Victoria. Chances are someone has called, but if they asked for Victoria, when her name is Jennifer or vice versa, she probably told them they had the wrong number.

 

[MichaCA]

A little more legal feedback; I also would not risk taking the children before a court agreement (which is unlikely)...as you will have to pay the expense (I prsume a UHaul, etc), plus reENROLL THE CHILDREN IN SCHOOL.
sOME 'SOCIAL SERVICE' TYPE OF ADVICE, SUGGESTIONS;


1. aSK YOUR FOLKS FOR MONEY THROUGH THIS HARD TIME.

eITHER GET out AND GET A JOB, OR ENROLL IN A COSMTOLOGY SCHOOL LOCALLY. i BET THEY HAVE PAYMENT PLANS.

gO TO YOUR LOCAL HOUSING AUTHORITY OFFICE...IF THEY HAVE A OPEN WAITING LIST...YOU HAVE IT MADE. fIND A APT THAT ACCEPTS sECTION 8 VOUCHERS, AND MOVE.

aPPLY FOR FOODSTAMPS.

rENT A BEDROOM IN A HOUSE FOR THE SHORT TERM.

gET WORK HOUSECLEANING ON YOUR OWN. iT TAKES NO CREDENTIALS...THATS WHAT i DO. yOU CAN WORK AROUND YOUR CHILDRENS' SCHEDULE, OR TAKE HIM WITH YOU. iTS GOOD MONEY (i CHARGE A FLAT RATE OF $20 HOUR...MANY CHARGE MORE)

mY SUGGESTIONS ARE PRESUMING YOUR 4 1/2 YR OLD DOES NOT ATEND SCHOOL RIGHT NOW.

mANY MOTHERS OF YOUNG ONE'S GET A NANNY JOB AND BRING THEIR CHILD WITH THEM.

YOU COULD ALSO GET A JOB WITH A ELDERLY CARE COMPANY PROVIDING OVERNIGHT CARE FOR ELDERS WHILE YOUR CHILDREN ARE GONE.

childcare
ASK DAD TO PAY HALF OF CHILDCARE

YOUR WELFARE OFFICE PROB WILL PROVIDE CHILDCARE WHILE YOU GO TO SCHOOL OR WORK
tALK TO YOUR WELFARE PEPERSON ABOUT OTHER CHILDCARE SOLUTIONS. OUR COUNTY HAS FREE CHILDCARE FOR SINGLE PARENTS WHILE THEY WORK OR GO TO SCHOOL


i APOLOGIZE...MY CAPS ARE NOT WORKING AND MY COMPUTER HAS HAD A MAJOR BREAKDOWN PAST FEW DAYS...THIS IS THE BEST i CAN DO RIGHT NOW.
tHE COURTS WILL CONSIDER IT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN FOR YOU TO STAY WITH THE CHILDREN SO BOTH PARENTS CAN BE PARENTS...THATS JUST THE DEAL.

 

[CJane]

Well, Dad has to object/file that objection w/the court/have you served w/in 30 days.

And while you haven't paid October's rent, you're still not going to be evicted before 30 days pass. Not gonna happen.

It's VITAL you do this right if you want to maintain custody. Trust me on that.

Now, Dad can only reasonably block the relocation if he's 1) willing to request that he be primary residential parent. 2) If it can be determined that the move is not in the children's best interests 3) If he can prove that the children living with him IS in the children's best interests.

You NEED to stay in FL for the next 30 days. And if Dad objects to the relocation as statute requires then you NEED to have all of your ducks in a row regarding what is best for the children. And that might not include moving across the country. Maybe school years in FL and summers in NY? Or vice-versa? YOU will end up paying transportation, by the way.

If he does NOT object per statute, you're free to go in 30 days. That's not really that long.

 

[ariastar]

Micha gave some damned good suggestion.

 

[2Mistakes]

Micha gave some damned good suggestion.

Are you trying to set some kind of record for posting to EVERY SINGLE thread?

 

[CourtClerk]

Are you trying to set some kind of record for posting to EVERY SINGLE thread?

Actually, she is. This is a troll that comes around every so often and does the same thing. No advice, just a sentence or two that could have stayed in her head

 

[Gracie3787]

And while you haven't paid October's rent, you're still not going to be evicted before 30 days pass. Not gonna happen.

In FL an eviction can be accomplished in as few as 6 days.
However, the OP can delay the eviction by filing a letter of contest with the local court. Once the letter of contest has been filed, the landlord cannot continue the eviction until a hearing is held. Even in the worst case scenario where the court orders the tenant to vacate, most Judges will give the tenant a week to 2 weeks to vacate.

 

[CJane]

In FL an eviction can be accomplished in as few as 6 days.
However, the OP can delay the eviction by filing a letter of contest with the local court. Once the letter of contest has been filed, the landlord cannot continue the eviction until a hearing is held. Even in the worst case scenario where the court orders the tenant to vacate, most Judges will give the tenant a week to 2 weeks to vacate.

Right. And since she said she's 'under the threat of eviction', my guess is nothing's been filed yet re: eviction.

So if she handles things properly, she's got 30 days.

OP is in panic mode. Which is NEVER a good place to make decisions from.

 

[tiredofdrama]

You need to get out of "panic mode" and put this in perspective. Yes, you really seemed to have dropped the ball on getting your life in order. Too late for regrets, all you can do is move forward. Do you want to have the biggest regret of all and move your child out of the state without permission? I'm sure you don't. What you need to do is WHATEVER you have to do (legally) to stay in Florida until the this is resolved. Then, if you are granted permission to take the children, then you can move forward with your plans. If the children cannot be taken out of the state, then you need to make a choice. Stay and work whatever job you have to work to make ends meet (I'd be slinging burgers, pumping gas, cleaning toilets to keep my kid) or move back to NY without them. Your family is willing to help you when you move back to NY. I'm sure they wouldn't be opposed to help you while you are still in Florida so you don't jeopardize custody of your children.

BTW, this is just my opinion: Even if you are granted permission to take the kids to NY, think about what you are doing. You may hate your ex and think he's a jerk, but your children deserve the opportunity to see their father regularly and form their own opinions about him. Robbing them of that may blow up in your face.