Ok, how does this sound?

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

Ok, so I met with a lawyer yesterday, but there is no way that I can afford his services. He did, however give me "food for thought". So right now I am continueing to plug along on my own.

I've composed a "proposal" that I intend to forward to ...her .... lawyer, even though he has made his intention to not communicate with me plain.

Mr *****.

I wanted to take this opportunity to attempt again to work out a mutually agreeable resolution to the current litigation between myself and your client, **** ******. You had asked in your last correspondence with me to submit a specific proposal to you with regards to a reasonable custody/visitation agreement. Please see as follows:

1. I will dismiss my current “amended” petition for 50/50 custody, although a “significant change of circumstance” does, in fact, exist in this case.

2. The current orders with regards to the visitation/custody schedule will remain intact (meaning that there will be no interruption of the current schedule of every other weekend and Wednesday overnight visits), as will legal custody.

3. Both parties will be entitled to 4(four) weeks of vacation or uninterrupted parenting time, as they prefer, with 2(two) weeks of said visitation to be taken during the summer months when ****** is on summer break. The remaining 2(two) weeks may be taken at each parents discretion at any time during the year, providing that it does not interfere with *****’s school schedule, and/or homework. or the following holiday schedule.

4. Holiday(excluding school breaks, which are listed separately as follows) custody shall belong to whichever parent is in “possession” of ******* on the morning of said holiday with the following exceptions: a) Mothers Day(including the night of) shall revert to the Mother and Fathers Day (including the night of) to the Father. b) Each parent shall have ******* on the day(or evening, depending on whether or not said birthday falls on a weekday or weekend day) of their respective birthdays(including the night of said birthday). c) For *****’s birthday, the parents shall alternate, with the Mother having odd years and the father even years, the day(from 10am including the night of if said birthday falls on a weekend) or evening(from pick-up at daycare until the following morning if said birthday falls during a weekday) of ******’s birthday. d) For both Winter Break and Spring Break, both parents shall have half of each break, alternating start and finish based on where ****** is spending the prior weekend(meaning that if ***** is with ******** for the weekend prior to a 1 week break from school, she would remain with ******* until Wednesday, at which time physical custody would transfer to me, and the reverse being the case if ******** is with me during the prior weekend). e) Thanksgiving Day shall be alternated, with ******** spending Thanksgiving day, from 10am(if ****** is with the "other" parent the night before) until 5pm, with ******** on odd years(to be reversed on even years), with the remainder of the holiday weekend to be spent with the other parent. f) If the parent with custody is within a reasonable driving distance(meaning less than 25 miles) on Christmas morning, ******* will spend a minimum of 4(four) hours with the non-custodial(for that portion of the break) parent.

5. Whichever parent is in possession of ****** on the morning of a day that ****** is ill, and unable to attend school, shall be responsible for her care on that “sick” day.

6. If, for a reason beyond either parents control, either parent is unable to complete their parenting time, they shall contact the other parent at least 4 hours prior to the expected pick-up time, and shall be entitled to a make-up day(to be performed within 2 weeks of the date of the interruption).

7. Child support shall be according to the current Guidelines for Child Support in Maryland, subject to income verification pursuant to §12-203 of The Child Support Guidelines of Maryland Law, as of whatever date we come to an agreement.

I would also like to add that, while I am sympathetic to your statement that “It is my policy to minimize my contacts with unrepresented parties”, and that “I would suggest that if you have a specific proposal, rather than a long litany of complaints as you have forwarded to me, that you hire a lawyer and ask them to review it and then you or your lawyer can send that to me”, it is your responsibility, as an Officer of the Court(pursuant to Rule 4.3 of the Maryland Lawyer's Rules of Professional Conduct), to maintain a dialogue with an unrepresented party(such as myself).

As I have previously stated, I am absolutely capable, and willing, to come to an agreement on these matters.

Again, I do hold out hope that we can come to a mutually agreeable solution to the current situation.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

******* *********, Pro Se

Comments? Thanks...

p.s. The names have been changed to protect the innocentWhat is the name of your state?

[GrowUp!]

Originally Posted by ProSeDadinMD

What is the name of your state? Maryland

Ok, so I met with a lawyer yesterday, but there is no way that I can afford his services. He did, however give me "food for thought". So right now I am continueing to plug along on my own.

I've composed a "proposal" that I intend to forward to ...her .... lawyer, even though he has made his intention to not communicate with me plain.

First of all, I am glad you quote the code in your response to her lawyer in regards to his intention of "not communicating with you." Nice way of telling him to boink himself! LOL Since you are pro se, you are your own attorney and if it were to be known in court during a proceeding that he refused to consult with you, he wouldn't like what the Judge had to say.

Why are you backing down from 50/50 custody? What was the change in circumstance? Does the court that has jurisdiction have a standard parenting plan you can use? If so, try that because then her attorney would have to prove how the court's plan is not in the best interest.

[ProSeDadinMD]

... “Montgomery County Guidelines for Effective Parenting”, but following that, I would lose almost a month a year from our current order, and there are absolutely no grounds to reduce what I already have.

As for “backing down”, the 50/50 was not my goal when I started this. I am willing to go with what I originally filed just to save everybody the expense and drama of all of this. My proposal isn’t unreasonable, and protects both of our rights.

[fairisfair]

It looks good Dad. I would suggest that you be more specific in #3 either specify a notice of a certain number of days notice between the parents or specify the weeks. Not so sure about the comment about homework either, lots of kids have projects to complete over holiday weeks, that could really bite you in the bottom if mom wants to use that as an excuse. School, yes, homework, no, that can be done at either parents home.

[ProSeDadinMD]

...those are both good points that I hadn't thought of. It's a work in progress

[GrowUp!]

Originally Posted by fairisfair

It looks good Dad. I would suggest that you be more specific in #3 either specify a notice of a certain number of days notice between the parents or specify the weeks. Not so sure about the comment about homework either, lots of kids have projects to complete over holiday weeks, that could really bite you in the bottom if mom wants to use that as an excuse. School, yes, homework, no, that can be done at either parents home.

Good catch! I'd take the homework out because that's a given -- it can and should be done at any parent's house on their time.

A suggestion about vacations (i.e. summer break), perhaps put a solid date when summer dates should be submitted (like April 1st of each year for example) to each parent.

As far as #4, I'd clean that up a little bit. You wrote:
Holiday(excluding school breaks, which are listed separately as follows) custody shall belong to whichever parent is in “possession” of ******* on the morning of said holiday with the following exceptions: a) Mothers Day(including the night of) shall revert to the Mother and Fathers Day (including the night of) to the Father."

Could it be possible that a parent could have the child on a holiday(s) consecutively? This seems a little confusing, IMO. What time should the child be returned? What about using the "odd/even year" schedule and include the parenting time (i.e. 9am - 7pm, unless the child is already with that parent for their parenting time or something like that).

b) Each parent shall have ******* on the day(or evening, depending on whether or not said birthday falls on a weekday or weekend day) of their respective birthdays(including the night of said birthday). c) For *****’s birthday, the parents shall alternate, with the Mother having odd years and the father even years, the day(from 10am including the night of if said birthday falls on a weekend) or evening(from pick-up at daycare until the following morning if said birthday falls during a weekday) of ******’s birthday.

I would make a change where it says "daycare" and add "/school" just so when the child goes onto school, that does not become an issue with mom. I can hear it now "but she's not in daycare, so the order blah blah blah".

d) For both Winter Break and Spring Break, both parents shall have half of each break, alternating start and finish based on where ****** is spending the prior weekend(meaning that if ***** is with ******** for the weekend prior to a 1 week break from school, she would remain with ******* until Wednesday, at which time physical custody would transfer to me, and the reverse being the case if ******** is with me during the prior weekend).

Huh? How about for Winter and spring breaks, each parent gets half of the break, ODD YEARS: Mom first half; Dad second half. EVEN YEARS: Dad first half, mom second half. Also when will winter break begin? Immediately at the end of the school day or that Friday?

e) Thanksgiving Day shall be alternated, with ******** spending Thanksgiving day, from 10am(if ****** is with the "other" parent the night before) until 5pm, with ******** on odd years(to be reversed on even years), with the remainder of the holiday weekend to be spent with the other parent. f) If the parent with custody is within a reasonable driving distance(meaning less than 25 miles) on Christmas morning, ******* will spend a minimum of 4(four) hours with the non-custodial(for that portion of the break) parent.

I would break this up. Each holiday should be addressed individually. For Thanksgiving, what about each parent getting the whole holiday weekend and alternate it. ODD YEARS Dad; EVEN YEARS Mom and start it from Wednesday evening at _____ pm or immediately after school until Sunday evening at _____ pm or drop off Monday AM at school.

Christmas, stick to set times. The "minimum of 4 hours" will just cause headaches because I can see this happening "I want those 4 hours. Yeah, but we have THIS planned."

Address Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years' Day EACH individually with set times. For example: Xmas Eve: 6pm 12/24 - 12noon 12/25; XMAS: 12noon - ???; New Years Eve: 6pm 12/31 - 12noon following year; New Years Day: 12noon - ? Again, odd/even.

Also, clarify you and her with "Mother" and "Father" in your plan. Just some suggestions to try to clean it up and make it not as vague.

[fairisfair]

Personally, my parenting plan does have divided holidays. The way it is worked is this, two separate time increments are set forth, 8-2 and 2-8 (my child NEVER has overnights, but that is a different story all together) NCP has first choice of the times and is required to notify me 2 weeks in advance of the holiday regarding his choice. It seems to avoid alot of problems, two weeks ahead of any holiday, we know whether to plan for a morning or an evening celebration.

[ProSeDadinMD]

Holiday(excluding school breaks, which are listed seperately as follows) custody shall belong to whichever parent is in "possession" of ****** on the morning of said holiday with the following exceptions: a) Mothers Day(including the night of, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said holiday falls during the Fathers parenting time) shall revert to the Mother and Fathers Day (the night of, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said holiday falls during the Mothers parenting time) to the Father. b) Each parent shall have ****** on the day(or evening, depending on whether or not said birthday falls on a weekday or weekend day) of their respective birthdays(including the night of said birthday, to be returned no later than 9am the following morning if said birthday falls during the other parents parenting time). c) For ******'s birthday, the parents shall alternate, with the Mother having odd years and the Father even years, the day(from 10am including the night of, if said birthday falls on a weekend) or evening(from pick-up at daycare/school until the following morning if said birthday falls during a weekday) of ******'s birthday. d) For both Winter(Christmas) Break and Spring Break, both parents shall have half of each break, alternating first half(from pick-up after the last day of school prior to the break through 9am or morning drop-off at daycare Wednesday) and second half(from 9am Wednesday morning, or pick-up at daycare through the morning of the next school day), with Mother having first half on odd years and Father having the first half on even years. e) The Thanksgiving holiday weekend will be alternated, with ****** being in possesion of Mother on odd years and Father even years. f) If the parent with custody on Christmas(depending on when in the Winter Break Christmas occurs) is within a reasonable driving distance(25 miles), ****** will spend from 5pm on Christmas Eve through 1pm on Christmas day with the non-custodial(for that portion of the break) parent. If Christmas occurs on a Wednesday, ****** will be returned to the parent maintaining custody for the second half of the break no later than 1pm.

Thanks again for the responses.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by ProSeDadinMD

Thanks again for the responses.

I am sure it is fine, although you lost me at 9 am.

[texastepmom]

Do you ever travel for Christmas? My husbands possession order splits Christmas up this way – from the time the child gets out of school for the holiday until Dec. 27th at noon, then the possession alternates from the 27th at noon until they go back to school, alternating even/odd years. This allows you to travel on Christmas day (with or without the child) and have a reasonable time to get back in town to change possession after Christmas. I really like being able to either take the kids somewhere like their grandparents out of state for Christmas, or travel to see my own family on years we don’t have the kids, and have enough time to get back before the 27th at noon.

we also alternate the spring break and thanksgiving holiday even/odd years... this allows for a nice long vacation with the child if you want to go out of town instead of breaking it up... the way ours is set up though could be better... if you have the child for thanksgiving in one school year, you also have them for spring break in the same school year... but you get them for the christmas day part of the winter break. i think it would be nice if the parent that had the child for thanksgiving for one school year would not get them for spring break too. in our school district thanksgiving and spring break are both full week vacations.

Just my own thoughts from our experience, especially considering all of our extended families on both sides live out of state.

[casa]

Originally Posted by ProSeDadinMD

What is the name of your state? Maryland

Ok, so I met with a lawyer yesterday, but there is no way that I can afford his services. He did, however give me "food for thought". So right now I am continueing to plug along on my own.

I've composed a "proposal" that I intend to forward to ...her .... lawyer, even though he has made his intention to not communicate with me plain.


Comments? Thanks...

p.s. The names have been changed to protect the innocentWhat is the name of your state?

I agree with GrowUp!...It's smart to include the code. He should know you are aware of it and are comparing his response/reaction to it.