OK ..You tell me then, ..'cause I sure don't know!!! (long read)

[reeBrelliM]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

Hello all,

I'm 31 yrs old and I had always paid my child support religiously, on my own, and without any outside influence or wage garnishment. I had always paid the payments on time, and in full, up until a while back when I had become ill. All of this had occured during a time when I was without any kind of insurance at all. I was basically forced to use money that WAS going towards my child support each month, NOW to pay for seeing several different doctors on a per visit basis, ...was quite expensive with the hundreds of different kinds of blood tests, X-rays, examinations, and the various consultations that took place over the course of about four months. Raising a child does cost money, and I do feel that it is my obligation to assist finacially until the obligation is fullfilled, however, I also believe that ones HEALTH comes BEFORE ones child support, especially if it is something serious such as this, and where "time is of the essence". I really had no choice but to address my health issues, in hopes to resolve what was troubling me first. After four months from the time of my first initial doctors visit, I had been diagnosed with having Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, in other words I'd learned that I had a terminal illness, ...Cancer.


It was only a short time after the diagnosis, that I'd gotten a letter from the local DHS CS Agency, they wanted to know why my support payments had suddenly stopped. I had called and explained everything to them, I sent copies of the medical report and diagnosis papers to them, as well as to the court appointed public pretender. My appointed attorney took the information and went before a Judge who'd signed and ORDERED the following:

IT IS SO ORDERED!!!

"The courts have learned that the said OBLIGOR has cancer, NO such warrant for MITTIMUS shall be issued upon until the said OBLIGOR has gone into remission from the cancer."


About 6 months passed by, but I still had not yet received any treatments for the cancer. Then one night I was pulled over for a "routine traffic stop" by the local police, and it was much to my surprise when I was told to put my hands behind my back, that I was under arrest for non-payment of child support, it was a "bench warrant 10 day mittimus."

I explained about the order that was signed by the judge (in quotes above) that I had, and that there was obviously some kind of mistake, I asked them to please check into it. Well, needless to say, I'd served 5 of the 10 days in jail before I was finally heard. They were ordered by a judge to let me out "Forthwith".

Well, it was about another 6 months later after being arrested, and now the States District Attorney wants me to sign a form for approving the release of medical records and information from my doctors, however, I feel that my medical information is private and shouldn't be necessary. I am constantly being threatened of being jailed, ...as if it wasn't bad enough after being cut short of my time to live, ...and now they want to take even more time from me by putting me in jail!!!???

Please read on, ...it gets even better!

(..working under impossible circumstances??)

Even though there is a fine Cancer Center that's stationed right here locally in town, ..because I'm poor and don't have any kind of health insurance, I'm forced to drive back-n-forth to the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics in Iowa City, Iowa (which is 550 miles round trip) in order to seek the medical assistance that I do so desperately need. I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE, ...it's just another chapter in the book, and all part of the endless struggling, striving, and surviving. I will NOT be defeated by this disease, PERIOD!

Here's where things get downright rediculous, brace yourself. The DHS has now suspended my drivers license for non payment of support. What am I supposed to do now when I have to drive 550 miles across the state of Iowa just to make it to my doctors appointment? If I get pulled over, and found driving under suspension, I'll be put in jail, the car gets impounded, I'll miss my appointment (which can be rescheduled, ...but that's not the point) I had asked DHS about how I was supposed to make these trips if I'm suspended, their response was as follows: "If you don't have someone to take you, then you'll just have to take a bus." My mother was able to drive me back-n-forth for the first two trips, it was a good thing too, because after my bone marrow biopsy I was in so much pain and discomfort, and so heavily drugged that I couldn't have done it without her, I slept in back seat the entire trip back home, but just since then she has been declared as being disabled, and isn't allowed to drive anymore, ...my father had passed on several years ago, ...I have nobody else.

With the constant threat of being jailed, plus having my license suspensed, ...this has directly effected my ability to seek the medical attention that I need, ...I'm tired of trying to get someone to actually hear me, and that can understand my situation. It's pure and simple political BS!!! I feel that I have exausted all my options regarding this matter The situation at hand has made me contemplate ordinarily unthinkable things, things that I would NEVER ever have even thought about, let alone consider as being any kind of options.

(I lower my head in complete disgust)

1) Forfeiture of my parental rights. Once again, this is something that is ordinarily UNTHINKABLE!!!

2) Quietly move out of state (...not financially possible)

3) Take my own life (...I've been dealt a pretty bad hand in life, ...BUT I SHOULD NEVER, NEVER, NEVER EVER BE FEELING LIKE THIS IS ONE OF MY OPTIONS, ...PERIOD!!! I couldn't ever do this anyways, as I despise those weasels that do choose this as being an only alternative.

I honestly don't know what to do here. Anyone with any tips, ideas, or suggestions, ..hey I'm all ears, you have 110% of my attention!!

I'm sorry to have rambled on for so long, but I wanted this to be as complete, and thorough as possible, to hopefully get some answers and ideas from some of ya´all that maybe have already been down that road.

Thanks a million!!!
reeB_relliM

 

[coosi]

This is way too long

Try to make it one or two short paragraphs to get advice.

"I was current on CS until I bacame terminally ill with cancer. After talking with DHS, the judge ..."

etc...

 

[reeBrelliM]

Thanks for the input, I do appreciate it. I see your point, but ya see, that's just it, there is way too much to say, ...really, it could have been longer, and I did try to shorten it up, ...it's just a long story.

Thanks for your response!
Robin

 

[theb]

*not a lawyer* that being said, my advice would be to copy and paste your original post to be printed...go to a lawyer with your first visit being free and TALK TO HIM/HER. That is the only place you are gonna get some straight answers for this.

 

[stealth2]

I'll be honest that I simply skimmed you post as it was way too long. Why did you go to a Federal Judge (when CS is a state order) and did you actually get a STATE ordered abatement of CS payments?

 

[reeBrelliM]

I have just editted the post, ...it's still rather long, I do appologize.

That was an error, it was a states judge, NOT federal.

Yes, I have asked for a modification to lower the monthly amount, however, even if it is lowered a great deal, I still don't see how I can possibly make these payments every month during this time period, as I've been struggling financially, and I currently have no source of income.

This system seriously needs to be reformed, I agree that dead-beats should be hounded and jailed if they don't comply, ...BUT I'm not a dead-beat, ..at all!!! As I've said, I have always paid when I was able.


Thanks for the responses!!!
reeB

 

[krispenstpeter]

The only thing I'm going to comment on is the part of your post that is relevant. If you want the benefits of your disease, i.e., not paying child support until remission, then take the responsibilities also. And that means stand ready to prove you have the disease and are not in total remission. I.e. release your medical records to the State attorney General.

You can't have it both ways.

 

[reeBrelliM]

That is exactly why I didn't want to edit the god damn thing, ...because I knew that doing so would likely bring on these kinds of comments, and not let you see the whole story as it is, and therefore I get replies such as that, ...that would have otherwise been explained before the edit took place.

They asked me to sign a release of information, ...there is something called doctor-patient confidentiality, and these laws were implemented to protect patients private information.

At my request, my doctor had sent them a letter that thoroughly explained my situation, which explained that what I have is a terminal illness, and that on some days I will be able to go about my day without any problems, and then there will also be days that I will not even be able to get out of bed. It explains of a deteriorating medical condition, and that I can expect a long and rough road ahead, as it is an endless durated process of fighting and battling against the disease, involving many treatrments, and appointments for which I will have to travel, sometimes unexpectedly at the spur of the moment.

krispenstpeter - The benefits of the disease?????? Sorry, but you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. Are you suggesting that I'm just using the cancer condition to my advantage, so I don't have to pay child support????????? Furthest from the truth, as I already said, I had always paid my support without any outside pressure to do so, ....and now, not being able to do my part really makes me feel that much worse, and adds to what fuels my depression.

I wouldn't have waisted mine or your time if it was anything other than straight up, honest, and legitimate sh!t that I'm needing some insight about.

Thanks for responding.
reeB

 

[Ramoth]

reeB, let's see if I have this straight. You have cancer, and as a result cannot pay your child support, since you have chosen to pay your medical bills before your CS obligation (not slamming you here - I'd be doing the same thing). The judge tells you that unless you release your medical records to prove you have cancer, they will continue to hit you with penalties for non-payment of support.

WHile you have the right to deny access to your records, the judge then has the right to rule that anyone can get a doctor to write a letter, and you still have to pay CS. If you want this straightened out, you'll have to release the records.

 

[stealth2]

I'm afraid Ramoth's right. The judge may or may not accept the letter from your doc.

 

[krispenstpeter]

krispenstpeter - The benefits of the disease?????? Sorry, but you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. Are you suggesting that I'm just using the cancer condition to my advantage, so I don't have to pay child support????????? Furthest from the truth, as I already said, I had always paid my support without any outside pressure to do so, ....and now, not being able to do my part really makes me feel that much worse, and adds to what fuels my depression.

And until you spend some time with this forum you won't know how much BS we get daily.

and yes, I haven't had cancer. So I don't know how it is. But that really isn't the issue here is it? It's your damn pride standing in the way of you getting what you want.

In every event in life there are rules. You either choose to live by them or not. And if you don't, then you suffer consequences.

You don't get to pick and choose and you don't get to whine.

The judge gave you the rules. Not it's up to you to either play by them or not.

 

[reeBrelliM]

(Screeeeeeech!!) Whoa, ...back up a minute

No, no, no, ....the judge hasn't requested anything, nor have I even been before a judge on 99% of these rulings and orders. The pathologists report, and diagnosis paperwork, along with the initial classification of an aggressive type of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, the letter from the doctor had explained what my prognosis is, and that it was not looking real good, mostly due to the fact that the cancer wasn't caught until it was already in the latter stages, maybe 5 to 10 years, ...15 if things go very well with treatments.

The request for a release of medical records was initially made by my "so called" attorney, ...and believe me that is another story all by itself, ...while I was in jail serving on the 10 day mittimus, one of the senior jailers had told me that all of the child support cases in this county that require a court appointed attorney be appointed to the obligor, they intentionally appoint the same guy to represent all of these cases. Why? Simple, because he works well with the assistant county attorny, and together they work the system to the states advantage, ...boy he wasn't kidding either, I'm telling you what, it is vividly apparent without a doubt, whenever I'm in the same room with this public pretender, and the states attorney, ...it's very clear to me that I am on one side of the fence, and they are on the other. What a complete conflict of interest.

Here's what happens, I'm notified by mail of a court hearing to be held on a givin date, ...when the day comes and I show up, my public pretender will usually go into the States Attorneys office for a few minutes, then he will come out with some paperwork and ask me if I brought any money with me, cuz if I didn't, that they were gonna put me in jail. Then when I give him my money, he disappears back into the office, and then the States Attorney comes out with paperwork and walks down the hallway and into the judges chambers, and comes back with a signed order. It happens so fast that the judge couldn't possibly have read the order that he was signing, ...and in any event, I never get to see a judge. Doesn't this way of doing things seem a little strange to you all???

"Hi, I'm Jerry the Giraffe, ...just 'cause I eat mostly shrubs and leaves, doesn't mean I can't still smell when something's fishy!!"

So anyway, most importantly of all, please tell me this, ...what am I supposed to do when I have to go back to Iowa City for my next scheduled CT scan, bloodwork, and appointment with my oncologist??? Walk? Hitch-Hike? Drive anyway??

I'm two small steps away from completely flipping out over all this BS, ...as I said previously, I should NOT be having these thoughts that I've been having, ...IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT, OR NORMAL!! It was already a very bad situation just by itself, without any of this bullsh!t, ...PERIOD!!

You all prolly think that I'm just going against the grain to be cute, ..but I have viable reasoning for not favoring the realease of my personal medical information to the government.

Am I over reacting?? Maybe so, but if you were dying and was only able to seek medical help by traveling 500 miles away for it, ...tell me how you'd feel if they suspended your DL and then continuallly put a series of hurdles up in your path???

reeB

 

[creditorsrus]

Have you looked into public assistance, like medicare or medicaid (not sure which one you would need)? They could help you with some of your expenses.

 

[nextwife]

Have you applied for Social Security disability for your kids and yourself? And that it be condidered in your CS calculations if approved?

I agree it's frustrating.

When my dad was terminally ill, we were all school age, my sister only 11, and we all understood that we needed to be there to SUPPORT our father in his fight his life. And that we needed to be willing to give up things for him, just as he had done for us when we were younger. WE certainly would never have put getting things above his getting treatment. WE all also gave up events and pursuits to help get him to his radiation, and physical and speech therapies, and we weremostly minor children at the time.

Good luck.

 

[reeBrelliM]

creditorsrus - Yeah, I have applied for SSI, but just like you'd said, "...not sure which one you would need" ...these programs are all so very confusing, and difficult to fully understand.

nextwife - Thanks for the best luck wishes, ...I fear that I'll probably need all the luck I can possibly get.


I had applied for SSI benefits, and I was approved to reveive any benefits, however, the number of work credits that I had earned from all past employment didn't even total out to be diddly squat. Back in time before I knew any better, I had worked for a number of years doing construction work and was employed by a private contractor, who had always paid me each week in cash, ...and I really didn't understand that this was not a good way to do things, nor did I know at the time that it was illegal, too. If I could go back and change it, I most certainly would, but what's done, is already done. If I had only known back then, what I know now .

This is the most rediculous circumstantial situations that I've ever been in, it is a dead end, with no viable resolutions to overcome it. I'm appauled at the system, ...nobody should ever have to deal with the countless hurdles that have been intentionally put in place by their own government, and done so knowingly of the situation at hand, that they are making it impossible for a terminally ill person to get the medical attention that they need in order for them to live and survive. Pure and simple pathetic BS, ...I'm becoming very bitter about this whole situation, ...POINT BLANK, THIS CS PROGRAM NEEDS TO BE REFORMED, ...that's the problem, this country is always the first to step into some foreign conflict or situation, and that's usually none of our damm buisiness, ...but we still jump in head first without any hesitence, ...so some may ask, "..what's wrong with doing that?" Well, I'll tell ya what, because first of all, the United States of America isn't such a well put together country, at least not enough to walk away from our own issues and problems at home, and be telling these other countries that what they're doing is wrong. Don't get me wrong, what we are doing in Iraq needs to be finished, there is no alternative, ...I'm speaking in general terms, I just hope that I didn't open up a can of worms.

Thanks for your responses, ...very much appreciated!!!

reeB_relliM