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11-03-2009, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by killerzoey  This is the ideal scenario. Of course. In general it is a good thing for parents to attend their kids' practices, and in general, kids usually interpret the parent's presence as validating to them.
But it is dangerous to assume that what is true in one situation is therefore true in another. This can lead to false conclusions.
My STBX is Narcissistic. As a result everything he does, even stuff that is "good" on the surface, is self-serving and controlling, and has a sort of an icky feel to it. It is almost impossible to describe if you have never been involved with someone like this. I am not saying this is the case of the OP but it sure smacks of that to me, and for that I feel sorry for their kid. |
I realize that its not always the same for everyone my ex used to go to games and practices but all he wanted was his son to be the "best' at every sport if he wasnt then he rode him hard. To the point the coaches asked him to please not come because our son played worse and was stressed when he was there. That was not the point though. The point is legally the father has as much right to be there as she does.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
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11-03-2009, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by mdgtfrmhll Parents are required by the league to be at all of kiddo's football practices. Maybe that is the same case with OP's practices. It isn't insane when required..... | Well then that requirement is INSANE.
My point stands.
In case you missed it - I was checking the poster (moms) assumption that dad is being crazy or controlling when there is something fishy...
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11-03-2009, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by xylene Well then that requirement is INSANE.
My point stands.
In case you missed it - I was checking the poster (moms) assumption that dad is being crazy or controlling when there is something fishy... | Insane? Not at all. Football can be a very dangerous sport it makes complete sense to require the parents to be there in case something goes wrong. In the case of my town where they practice in 110 degree weather and there is constant worry of dehydration it makes sense to have extra eyes there to watch and make sure the kids aren't being pushed to hard and are keeping themselves hydrated. Who better to keep an eye on that than the parent? Here parents are strongly encouraged to be an active part of the childs sports. I do not believe a parent being there is fishy at all. We may not know the fathers reasons but it doesnt matter legally anyway.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx |
11-03-2009, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by xylene Well then that requirement is INSANE. | I AGREE! Plenty of moms and dads WORK until well after practice time. I'm lucky to get out of the office by 5:30 or so, getting out to be at a 3:30-4:45 pm basketball practice is impossible four days a week! I can't believe a school district demands that parents must put their employment at risk if their kid wants to play in sports.
As my mom used to say: School is for YOU. I already DID THAT.
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11-03-2009, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by nextwife I AGREE! Plenty of moms and dads WORK until well after practice time. I'm lucky to get out of the office by 5:30 or so, getting out to be at a 3:30-4:45 pm basketball practice is impossible four days a week! I can't believe a school district demands that parents must put their employment at risk if their kid wants to play in sports.
As my mom used to say: School is for YOU. I already DID THAT. | Might not be the school it might be a football league. I believe that is the case since most schools I agree would not force a parent to be part of activity. My son is in a football league that yes requires parents to be there. His baseball, soccer and basketball do not require that but they do ask if you can to be league parents and help out. Which I do because I am lucky enough to be able to do so.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx |
11-03-2009, 06:24 PM
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| | | If your daughter isn't comfortable with him being there, then SHE should ask him to stop going. Might mean more coming from her.
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11-03-2009, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by nextwife I AGREE! Plenty of moms and dads WORK until well after practice time. I'm lucky to get out of the office by 5:30 or so, getting out to be at a 3:30-4:45 pm basketball practice is impossible four days a week! I can't believe a school district demands that parents must put their employment at risk if their kid wants to play in sports.
As my mom used to say: School is for YOU. I already DID THAT. | Not all sports are within the school district. Some are City leagues as is kiddo's. Doesn't mean that the requirement isn't just that, a requirement. Parents are aware of it before they sign their kids up, and as a mom of a child who I wasn't all that keen on letting him play, I'm glad that requirement is there. We have had three kids already this season need to leave the field by either ambulance, during a scrimmage game, or by parent taking an injured child to the doctor. Last time I checked, coaches are not babysitters. My opinion, and it is only my opinion, is that if you are going to sign your kid up for sports, you are signing yourself up as well.
As for a school district putting a parents employment at risk, a parent that has to work during practice could always designate a competent adult to go to practice for them.  |
11-03-2009, 06:58 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 452
| | | From a parent who's children would have loved to see their other parent at practices, games anything, Just let this go! Down the line she may appreciate that he has been supportive, I know kids here would be... |
11-03-2009, 07:24 PM
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Posts: 29,677
| | | I don't think it's weird, either. How often do we complain that the other parent isn't interested at all? Now, the parent is interested... and it's "weird". I'm at a lot of my daughter's practices - she plays two contact sports, one which has very little physical protection - as do a lot of the other girls' parents. Sometimes one, sometimes both. None of us are loud or obnoxious, and it actually builds a nice "team" feeling amongst the parents.
Personally, I like to be able to see where my daughter's at with her skills. Not to ride her or her coach, but to have a clue what we may want to work on when she asks me to practice with her. I already know what areas she needs to build up, as well as what her coach has told her to try doing. So I can follow through on that input. Otherwise? I'm flying blind.
Now, to be fair, my daughter is older than I suspect OP's child is. Additionally, she plays year-round at one sport or the other, both in HS and on club teams. No, she's not going to play professionally, nor does she really want to play in college (except on an intramural basis). But she wants to be the best she can be *now*. And for that? I will help her as I'm able. To help her, I need to see what she has to work on.
I realize that this is likely not OP's situation. However, it does show that it is not ALWAYS weird for a parent to attend practices.
__________________ Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors.
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Last edited by stealth2; 11-03-2009 at 07:36 PM.
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11-03-2009, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by stealth2 I don't think it's weird, either. How often do we complain that the other parent isn't interested at all? Now, the parent is interested... and it's "weird". I'm at a lot of my daughter's practices - she plays two contact sports, one which has very little physical protection - as do a lot of the other girls' parents. Sometimes one, sometimes both. None of us are loud or obnoxious, and it actually builds a nice "team" feeling amongst the parents.
Personally, I like to be able to see where my daughter's at with her skills. Not to ride her or her coach, but to have a clue what we may want to work on when she asks me to practice with her. I already know what areas she needs to build up, as well as what her coach has told her to try doing. So I can follow through on that input. Otherwise? I'm flying blind.
Now, to be fair, my daughter is older than I suspect OP's child is. Additionally, she plays year-round at one sport or the other, both in HS and on club teams. No, she's not going to play professionally, nor does she really want to use play in college (except on an intramural basis). But she wants to be the best she can be *now*. And for that? I will help her as I'm able. To help her, I need to see what she has to work on.
I realize that this is likely not OP's situation. However, it does show that it is not ALWAYS weird for a parent to attend practices. | Agreed but I will take it a step further and say rarely is it "weird'.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
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11-03-2009, 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by xylene Am I the only one who thinks it is inappropriate for any parent to be attending all (in fact ANY) of the child's practices? | I dunno. I don't attend Wild's BBall practices this year, because they happen during work hours (directly after school) but last year, I attended all the ones on my time.
It wasn't about being competitive or breathing down anyone's necks. Just about being interested/involved in a kids' stuff.
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11-03-2009, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by CJane I dunno. I don't attend Wild's BBall practices this year, because they happen during work hours (directly after school) but last year, I attended all the ones on my time.
It wasn't about being competitive or breathing down anyone's necks. Just about being interested/involved in a kids' stuff. | I just asked my kids why they liked mommy going to their practices and games and the over all answer was basically they loved that during that time it was all about "them". I have five kids and while everyday I make sure to spend one on one time with them (if I forget I normally end up cuddling in bed with them after they fall asleep when mommy guilt kicks in) but the practices and games are just another way for them to feel like they have moms undivided attention and pride in them as an individual and not as a group of my kids. My oldest are 11 and 12 and my 12 is a boy who still in front of his friends gives me great big hugs. In fact one time another friend of his was teasing him about it and he turned looked at them and said " I'm sorry you dont feel able to love your mom in public that doesnt make you more of man than me that makes me more of one that I dont care about your opinion" I realized then I have done a darn good job of raising my son to respect women and know what being a "true" man means.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx
Last edited by Hisbabygirl77; 11-03-2009 at 08:42 PM.
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11-03-2009, 09:04 PM
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| | HBG - ya done good. My (almost - next month  ) 18yo STILL hugs me in public. Always has. In fact, I have to be very, very careful when I go to school events for him. Dunno when, dunno where, but I can always expect that, at some point, I will hear "MADRE!!!!!!!!!!!" and have to brace myself. Because 140 lbs will come barreling out of the crowd and launch itself at me for a bear hug. (Yes, people have to dodge him.)
Ya know... In the past 11 years, my kids' Dad has been at one game... and one performance. No moving-up ceremonies, no graduations, no Father-Daughter dances (she had a "decent" time when I took her, but the look on her face when every other girl was dancing to "Daddy's Little Girl" broke my heart), no parent-teacher conferences, no Back To School Nights, no Open Houses. Nothing. As much as I may dislike him, the look in my kids' eyes would be worth dealing with him if he came to even a fraction of activities/events.
OP - think about that before you object too much. Your daughter could have it much worse than a father who even pretends to be interested.
__________________ Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors.
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
*********
R.I.P. Penny.
8/12/97 - 11/12/09
She was a good hound,
and a good friend.
She will be missed.
*********
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11-03-2009, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by stealth2 Ya know... In the past 11 years, my kids' Dad has been at one game... and one performance. No moving-up ceremonies, no graduations, no Father-Daughter dances (she had a "decent" time when I took her, but the look on her face when every other girl was dancing to "Daddy's Little Girl" broke my heart), no parent-teacher conferences, no Back To School Nights, no Open Houses. Nothing. As much as I may dislike him, the look in my kids' eyes would be worth dealing with him if he came to even a fraction of activities/events.
OP - think about that before you object too much. Your daughter could have it much worse than a father who even pretends to be interested. |
Very well said..and good for you Stealth to take your daugther to a Father-Daugther dance! |
11-03-2009, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by stealth2 HBG - ya done good. My (almost - next month ) 18yo STILL hugs me in public. Always has. In fact, I have to be very, very careful when I go to school events for him. Dunno when, dunno where, but I can always expect that, at some point, I will hear "MADRE!!!!!!!!!!!" and have to brace myself. Because 140 lbs will come barreling out of the crowd and launch itself at me for a bear hug. (Yes, people have to dodge him.)
Ya know... In the past 11 years, my kids' Dad has been at one game... and one performance. No moving-up ceremonies, no graduations, no Father-Daughter dances (she had a "decent" time when I took her, but the look on her face when every other girl was dancing to "Daddy's Little Girl" broke my heart), no parent-teacher conferences, no Back To School Nights, no Open Houses. Nothing. As much as I may dislike him, the look in my kids' eyes would be worth dealing with him if he came to even a fraction of activities/events.
OP - think about that before you object too much. Your daughter could have it much worse than a father who even pretends to be interested. | I agree while my kids want me at those practices and games when my husband is able to go (work schedule is crazy gotta love working for the government!) it is something extra special to them. My oldest son loves it when dad can go. He might enjoy mom being there but he bursts with happiness when dad is.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx | |
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