out of state

[stealth2]

The girl can't be asked to tell in court what she want,if she want to move with me or want to stay her with dad?No matter what she want?Because she want to move with me.

Why would you put your 10yo in the position of choosing which of you to be with? This is between YOU and her FATHER (and the court), not the child, not your son, not your husband.

Yes, you need a lawyer.

And don't use his lack of English skills against him. Really.

 

[barbibia]

Why would you put your 10yo in the position of choosing which of you to be with? This is between YOU and her FATHER (and the court), not the child, not your son, not your husband.

Yes, you need a lawyer.

And don't use his lack of English skills against him. Really.

Because the girl want to come with me,she don't want to stay with him,so,the court don't care about the child wish?And what I try to say is, he use as for a lot because he just don't want to learn English after six year living here.I did.I don't ask him to apply for a job for me or to go some were were need to speak in English.He did.And I have been helped him just because my son live with him and I want he to have enough money to take good care of him.But he don't think the same I do.

 

[Proserpina]

Because the girl want to come with me,she don't want to stay with him,so,the court don't care about the child wish?And what I try to say is, he use as for a lot because he just don't want to learn English after six year living here.I did.I don't ask him to apply for a job for me or to go some were were need to speak in English.He did.And I have been helped him just because my son live with him and I want he to have enough money to take good care of him.But he don't think the same I do.

Hon, you may want to look at your own language issues before criticizing his.

 

[Proserpina]

Visitation schedule as specified by court order is irrelevant; Mom's relocation is grounds to modify custody per 598.21D. The court will likely consider how much time Dad actually spends with the daughter when implementing either a new schedule or new custody arrangement.

It's relevant to expand on BL's post. That's why I mentioned it.

 

[barbibia]

Why would you put your 10yo in the position of choosing which of you to be with? This is between YOU and her FATHER (and the court), not the child, not your son, not your husband.

Yes, you need a lawyer.

And don't use his lack of English skills against him. Really.

No.It is not between me and him,this it is what the girl want,and she want to move with her mom.And I think that it is the most important think,what the child want.And I don't use his lack of English skills against him,but after six years here it is not my fault that he can't apply for a job with I to help him.He need to speak English enough to take care of himself,I did.i f the girl will tell my today that she want to move with her dad,I will agree because the most important think for me it is what she want.If I will need to go in court for to can move with the girl,I will do not ask the dad for child support,because I don't want this.I wish he to have a good life with my son,but I don't think that he wish the same for me.

 

[BL]

No.It is not between me and him,this it is what the girl want,and she want to move with her mom.And I think that it is the most important think,what the child want.And I don't use his lack of English skills against him,but after six years here it is not my fault that he can't apply for a job with I to help him.He need to speak English enough to take care of himself,I did.i f the girl will tell my today that she want to move with her dad,I will agree because the most important think for me it is what she want.If I will need to go in court for to can move with the girl,I will do not ask the dad for child support,because I don't want this.I wish he to have a good life with my son,but I don't think that he wish the same for me.

Chidren do not get to decide.

The court may or may not take her considerations into account.

Court's like both parents to be involved with their children.

That's why their are Laws against removal ,and Laws to protect the Parent(s).

 

[Proserpina]

No.It is not between me and him,this it is what the girl want,and she want to move with her mom.And I think that it is the most important think,what the child want.And I don't use his lack of English skills against him,but after six years here it is not my fault that he can't apply for a job with I to help him.He need to speak English enough to take care of himself,I did.i f the girl will tell my today that she want to move with her dad,I will agree because the most important think for me it is what she want.If I will need to go in court for to can move with the girl,I will do not ask the dad for child support,because I don't want this.I wish he to have a good life with my son,but I don't think that he wish the same for me.

NO NO NO!

You do NOT let your 10 year old make such decisions! It matters not one iota what she wants. Please, for the love of parenting, get out of that mindset, and quickly.

 

[stealth2]

No.It is not between me and him,this it is what the girl want,and she want to move with her mom.And I think that it is the most important think,what the child want.And I don't use his lack of English skills against him,but after six years here it is not my fault that he can't apply for a job with I to help him.He need to speak English enough to take care of himself,I did.i f the girl will tell my today that she want to move with her dad,I will agree because the most important think for me it is what she want.If I will need to go in court for to can move with the girl,I will do not ask the dad for child support,because I don't want this.I wish he to have a good life with my son,but I don't think that he wish the same for me.

Okay - I will be very blunt. NO - a CHILD does not have a say. At 10, she is a CHILD!

And i am sorry, but your command of English is not good. No, not at all. So do not use HIS lack of it against him - it will come back to bIte you. And I speak as the child of immigrant parents who spoke NO English when they landed on our glorious shores! AND became completely fluent in less than a decade - enough so to be accepted to and graduate from some rather prestigious colleges/universities.

You NEED a lawyer because you MUST go about this as the law requires (see the links above) and if you involve the CHILD in this, you may find yourself mving without your daughter, because she will be staying with her father.

And your daughter deserves a good life with BOTH of her parents!

 

[barbibia]

Hon, you may want to look at your own language issues before criticizing his.

I think so that you don't understand.We came from a country from Europe,we don't speak even Spanish,and I spoke no one word in English before to come here six years ago.The English what I know right now I have been learn myself.We have no others from our country in this state so it is hard if you don't speak English not at all.But,look,you see?You criticizing me

 

[Proserpina]

I think so that you don't understand.We came from a country from Europe,we don't speak even Spanish,and I spoke no one word in English before to come here six years ago.The English what I know right now I have been learn myself.We have no others from our country in this state so it is hard if you don't speak English not at all.But,look,you see?You criticizing me

You made a huge issue of your ex having lousy English skills. You share the same problem, based on your posts.

That's why we're telling you to forget the language issue.

 

[stealth2]

I think so that you don't understand.We came from a country from Europe,we don't speak even Spanish,and I spoke no one word in English before to come here six years ago.The English what I know right now I have been learn myself.We have no others from our country in this state so it is hard if you don't speak English not at all.But,look,you see?You criticizing me

Yeah - we're criticizing you based on what you complain about regarding your children's father. We understand very well, dear. VERY well.

 

[single317dad]

OP, you can move any time. There is no law that will stop you.

If Dad objects, there will be a court hearing. Your moving will provide Dad with grounds to modify custody.

At a modification hearing, the court will determine whether the relationship between father and daughter is significant, and whether it will be harmed by your relocation. In that case, custody may be given to Dad, long distance visitation to you, and you ordered to pay support to Dad. All of those are "maybe"s.

Your new marriage is of no interest to the court. Your new husband's opportunities in Georgia are of no interest to the court. Your child's desires will be of no interest to the court. Whatever other reasons you have for moving will be of very little interest to the court. Who knows more English will only matter if one or both parties cannot make themselves understood to the court through an attorney or translator. The court will be interested in the changes to the child's life that will occur due to your decision to move her away from her father.

 

[Just Blue]

IF op is allowed to move with the child, it a good thing they OP won't have house and car payments...That way she will have enough money to provide ALL transportation for her daughter 4 or 5 times a year...

 

[BL]

IF op is allowed to move with the child, it a good thing they OP won't have house and car payments...That way she will have enough money to provide ALL transportation for her daughter 4 or 5 times a year...

Yeh not just holidays.

 

[LdiJ]

OP, you can move any time. There is no law that will stop you.

If Dad objects, there will be a court hearing. Your moving will provide Dad with grounds to modify custody.

At a modification hearing, the court will determine whether the relationship between father and daughter is significant, and whether it will be harmed by your relocation. In that case, custody may be given to Dad, long distance visitation to you, and you ordered to pay support to Dad. All of those are "maybe"s.

Your new marriage is of no interest to the court. Your new husband's opportunities in Georgia are of no interest to the court. Your child's desires will be of no interest to the court. Whatever other reasons you have for moving will be of very little interest to the court. Who knows more English will only matter if one or both parties cannot make themselves understood to the court through an attorney or translator. The court will be interested in the changes to the child's life that will occur due to your decision to move her away from her father.

Best interest of the child standard for Iowa:

In general, a judge will consider the following factors:
•The age of the children.

•The wishes of each parent.

•The quality of the relationship between the children and each parent.

•The health - both mental and physical - of each parent and the children.

•The willingness of each parent to support and facilitate the children's ongoing relationship with the other parent.

•Whether either parent has been providing the majority of the children's care up to this point.

•The ability of each parent to provide a stable, loving environment.

•The living accommodations of each parent's home.

•Each parent's ability to provide for the children's physical needs, emotional wellness, and medical care.

•The level of adjustment and attachment between the children and their home, school environment, and community/neighborhood.

•How the children will be affected by either continuing the current custody arrangement or disrupting the arrangement.

•The children's wishes (if they are able to express their own desires).

•Confirmed evidence of domestic violence, abuse, or neglect by either parent.

•Whether false allegations of abuse or neglect have been brought by either parent against the other.

As with many states, the bolded indicates that the wishes of the child do factor into the mix, therefore its wrong to say that it will be of no interest to the court. The child's wishes however, will not be controlling.