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out of state visitation schedule question

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popsicle__

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

I'm currently in the middle of a divorce. My soon to be ex is agreeing to the grounds of divorce and basically agrees to everything in the papers he was served (besides martial assets but thats another story). Per his lawyer (in documents received) My ex is granting me "sole" custody of our child, which i take to mean I will have all grounds of custody with her (including medical decisions, school, etc). But he wants a modified standard order of visitation. My spouse lives in Virginia. My daughter is only 17 months old and has only seen her father once in the past 8 months. Im filing for divorce under general indignities (domestic violence). Me and my daughter moved back to arkansas at the end of this past december with a notarized letter my spouse had wrote stating he gave permission and consent to me taking our daughter for an "unspecified" amount of time.

My daughter doesnt know her dad. He was absent for almost half her life before he finally visited, and we he did finally visit he refused to interact with her (this includes him refusing to play with her, hug her, or show any emotion towards her). He is wanting 8 weeks out of the summer with her starting in 2012! This is a long time for a toddler that isnt familiar with her "dad". He is also wanting EVERY major holiday (specifically thanksgiving and christmas and spring break).

I fear for my toddler's safety during these visitations he wants at 1,500 miles away from anyone she is familiar with! My husband also caused some indignities to her as well. He has left her unattended in a vehicle in summer while he went in a store (sept 2010), has psychically hit me while I was holding her (may 2010), and has made numerous "suggestive" remarks about her breasts. She has some medical issues regarding her larynx and strider like breathing which she is currently receiving ongoing treatment for. She is also unable to talk (other than 3-4 simple words) and I fear if he did do something to her she would be unable to communicate that.

He has, by his own choice, chosen not to have any contact or visitation with her in the past 8 months. I have never hid my daughter from him in those 8 months or disallowed him visit her. Arkansas has jurisdiction of my daughter since she has resided with me in this state for 8 months.

Anyone know of alternative out of state visitation schedule or suggestions to what i should do?
 


popsicle__

Junior Member
Thanks for your reply.
I just received the letter from his lawyer via my lawyer today and am probably worrying myself more than need be. I do want supervised visitations (not long term, but due to her age and the circumstances for the divorce).
The divorce papers my husband was served is vary vague and states that "visitation to be decided upon by the court" and that is all, it wasnt detailed explaining my desire for supervised visitations. My husband's response (per his attorney) is the 8 weeks of summer and every major holiday or break.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thanks for your reply.
I just received the letter from his lawyer via my lawyer today and am probably worrying myself more than need be. I do want supervised visitations (not long term, but due to her age and the circumstances for the divorce).
The divorce papers my husband was served is vary vague and states that "visitation to be decided upon by the court" and that is all, it wasnt detailed explaining my desire for supervised visitations. My husband's response (per his attorney) is the 8 weeks of summer and every major holiday or break.
You need to counter respond with a parenting plan of your own. One that requires him to visit in your state, on a supervised basis until the child gets to know him, and then on an unsupervised basis in your state for a while after that, and then visitation in his community.

You need to suggest alternating the major holidays and to start out with maybe two weeks of summer adding additional weeks each year until it eventually gets to 7 or 8 weeks in summer.
 

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