• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Overnight stays with non-custodial parent

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

LotusFlower

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years. My husband has been very hands off--except for fun times and play. In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
I suggested, as a start, for him to visit two weeknights and one weekend day. He's been late every week day. Each time he doesn't spend more than 1-1.5 hours with her. His time during the week is always spent at home with her and I. The weekend time is some at home and some at his parents house with her.
He's angry with me right now and has sent me an email that he will be requesting the start of overnight visits at his parents house beginning next Tuesday. Do I have to let him do that? Can I object and say I want a mediator/friend of court ruling on it first?
Seems he's doing this out of anger toward me to hurt me and has forgotten about what's best for his daughter. I do want him to be in her life and for them to have a healthy nourished relationship. But overnight visits at age 3?
Help!!!
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years. My husband has been very hands off--except for fun times and play. In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
I suggested, as a start, for him to visit two weeknights and one weekend day. He's been late every week day. Each time he doesn't spend more than 1-1.5 hours with her. His time during the week is always spent at home with her and I. The weekend time is some at home and some at his parents house with her.
He's angry with me right now and has sent me an email that he will be requesting the start of overnight visits at his parents house beginning next Tuesday. Do I have to let him do that? Can I object and say I want a mediator/friend of court ruling on it first?
Seems he's doing this out of anger toward me to hurt me and has forgotten about what's best for his daughter. I do want him to be in her life and for them to have a healthy nourished relationship. But overnight visits at age 3?
Help!!!
Please get help for your irrational fears. YES!! Your child will have sleep overs at Dads!! And she will have a good time unless you fill her head with your crap.
 

LotusFlower

Junior Member
What an enlightening answer! What a miserable person you must be--so unhappy that you want to make others feel the same.
You never did answer my question, by the way.
 

MichaCA

Senior Member
She did answer your question.

Three is definitely old enough to have overnights and I cannot imagine court not ordering it if dad requested it in court.

To have a healthy relationship with dad, why not let her have overnights with him?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
She did answer your question.

Three is definitely old enough to have overnights and I cannot imagine court not ordering it if dad requested it in court.

To have a healthy relationship with dad, why not let her have overnights with him?
Because her delusional world would cave in if DD came home with a smile on her face...OP needs to be IMPORTANT!!:rolleyes:
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years. My husband has been very hands off--except for fun times and play. In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
I suggested, as a start, for him to visit two weeknights and one weekend day. He's been late every week day. Each time he doesn't spend more than 1-1.5 hours with her. His time during the week is always spent at home with her and I. The weekend time is some at home and some at his parents house with her.
He's angry with me right now and has sent me an email that he will be requesting the start of overnight visits at his parents house beginning next Tuesday. Do I have to let him do that? Can I object and say I want a mediator/friend of court ruling on it first?
Seems he's doing this out of anger toward me to hurt me and has forgotten about what's best for his daughter. I do want him to be in her life and for them to have a healthy nourished relationship. But overnight visits at age 3?
Help!!!
We are all volunteers here and sometimes we forget that what is obvious to us, would not be obvious to someone who is uneducated in the ways that family law works.

However, its absolutely true that age 3 is more than old enough for overnight visits in the eyes of the law, and in the eyes of most child experts too.

At the same time, I do not blame you for wanting something court ordered first. You can certainly tell him that for everyone's sake, you prefer to have at least temporary court orders in place first. However, if you trust that he will return the child to you, there is no reason why you absolutely have to have that.

Tuesday is a wierd day to start it though...one would think that the weekend would be more appropriate. What kind of schedule is he asking for?
 

Perky

Senior Member
I would agree with the post above, but this couple isn't divorced yet. They haven't even filed for divorce yet. Why shouldn't dad have the same rights to time with the child as mom without a court order? It isn't as though the child doesn't know daddy, although it seems that OP has made it difficult for him to maintain a relationship outside of her home.
 
Last edited:

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I'd try talking to Dad and suggesting that he do maybe a couple/three bedtimes at home, just so both he and child know what to expect, before starting overnights away. If he agrees, then Mom needs to remove herself and allow him to do so - even if it's not exactly how SHE would do it - unless she's asked for help or input. Let him know that she won't be hovering - she's got some chores to do, but she's available if he wants to ask anything.

Whether he accepts or refuses, offer to send her with some of her favorite things - a lovey, a book, favorite pj's - to make the transition easier.

The easier you make this on your daughter AND her Dad, the easier it will be for all of you.
 

profmum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years. My husband has been very hands off--except for fun times and play. In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
I suggested, as a start, for him to visit two weeknights and one weekend day. He's been late every week day. Each time he doesn't spend more than 1-1.5 hours with her. His time during the week is always spent at home with her and I. The weekend time is some at home and some at his parents house with her.
He's angry with me right now and has sent me an email that he will be requesting the start of overnight visits at his parents house beginning next Tuesday. Do I have to let him do that? Can I object and say I want a mediator/friend of court ruling on it first?
Seems he's doing this out of anger toward me to hurt me and has forgotten about what's best for his daughter. I do want him to be in her life and for them to have a healthy nourished relationship. But overnight visits at age 3?
Help!!!
My dear, here is the reality, overnights at 3 will happen! Dad has been a part of the child's life from the beginning.. ie child knows who her father is. You dont have to let him do anything but since you have not filed for divorce Dad can also decide to keep the child and not return her to you. Your best bet is to work out a plan with Dad and see how it works for the child. You can insist on temporary orders etc but that takes time and you may not like what the court has to say. So look at the big picture and start cooperating with Dad about overnight visits. My DD was 3.5 when she started overnight visits with her Dad who was deployed for most of her life. The first few months were hard, she was crying etc BUT we stayed firm and contined the plan and soon enough she got used it and now does a week on, week of at 5 yrs old. For the child's sake, put your own fears aside.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Tuesday is a wierd day to start it though...one would think that the weekend would be more appropriate. What kind of schedule is he asking for?
The child is 3. She doesn't know what day of the week it is, nor does she even care. At 3, if my kid spent the night at grandma's on Tuesday or Saturday, it didn't make a bit of a difference to him.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Truthfully dad has every right to have his daughter EVERY day. He has equivalent rights to mom. Regardless of what mom thinks. Its only due to his cooperation thus far that he has allowed mom to dictate. This is not about what is best for child but what is best for mom quite frankly.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years.
I just want to add that wherever her dad lives is her home, too, and will be part of your DD's life given her parents have chosen not to be married and live together. It's just a fact. And, I agree that mid-week is as good a time to start as any. Preschool age children have nothing that makes a week night any different than a weekend night.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
We are all volunteers here and sometimes we forget that what is obvious to us, would not be obvious to someone who is uneducated in the ways that family law works.

However, its absolutely true that age 3 is more than old enough for overnight visits in the eyes of the law, and in the eyes of most child experts too.

At the same time, I do not blame you for wanting something court ordered first. You can certainly tell him that for everyone's sake, you prefer to have at least temporary court orders in place first. However, if you trust that he will return the child to you, there is no reason why you absolutely have to have that.

Tuesday is a wierd day to start it though...one would think that the weekend would be more appropriate. What kind of schedule is he asking for?

Read the posting history. This OP was asking if her hubby "abandoned" the child because he left the marital home yet visits with his child EVERY DAY!

This OP is bitter because her hubby cheated and now is trying to use the child as a weapon. Sickening.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/abandonment-452946.html
 

henx2

Junior Member
My brother's step-son had overnights with his Dad at 18 months! And his Dad had a felony count against him. After witnessing the horror that my sister-in-law faced, I would tell you that you would be best served if you tried to have a good relationship with her father and agree to things without going to court each time a decision needs to be made. Not only will you save yourself thousands of dollars, but you will save yourself from a lot of defeat. You won't always win because you're the mother regardless of how much better care, in your opinion, that you take of the child. Your child will also benefit from having parents that focus on parenting and not on "beating" each other in court. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
Then you two should have stayed married. Life goes haywire for EVERYONE when the two of you decide to break up that poor child's household and she has to be subjected to it. The choice of her parents (both of you, not just him).
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top