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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    Then I must be the worst mom in the world. When my ex and I divorced, I was pregnant. Our youngest had overnight visits at 6 months old. SHEESH. What a horrible mom I am

    For heaven's sake. ITS THE CHILD'S FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    yeah I hear you...my kids were 2 and 1 and they had two overnights a week and every other weekend...still are on the same schedule and now they are 6 and 5. Your ex is still extremely important in your daughter's life and she will resent you if you try to cut him out.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Quote Originally Posted by LotusFlower View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

    We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years. My husband has been very hands off--except for fun times and play.

    This is all perception - he has also been involved with the child since birth - believe it or not "fun time and play" are VERY important in the emotional growth of the child

    In the beginning of the separation we both agreed that our daughter should maintain as much of a 'normal' life as possible througout this whole process and for as long as possible.
    I suggested, as a start, for him to visit two weeknights and one weekend day.

    That does not sound "normal" at all...

    He's been late every week day. Each time he doesn't spend more than 1-1.5 hours with her.

    If he comes after work, then how is he supposed to spend more than a.5 hours with the child? I assume she goes to sleep fairly early.

    His time during the week is always spent at home with her and I. The weekend time is some at home and some at his parents house with her.

    That's nice

    He's angry with me right now and has sent me an email that he will be requesting the start of overnight visits at his parents house beginning next Tuesday.

    Being angry has nothing to do with it - it is his child too and he can request REAL parental time with HIS child!

    Do I have to let him do that?

    No you don't have to, but you should...remember you have to show that you can co-parent - right now you are only showing you are a control freak

    Can I object and say I want a mediator/friend of court ruling on it first?

    Sure - but again - it is in the child's best interest to begin knowing daddy's house as her home as well as your's and the court might not look favorably on your behavior

    Seems he's doing this out of anger toward me to hurt me and has forgotten about what's best for his daughter.

    IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST of the child!!! Why would you think that him wanting quality time with his kid (without you present) is done in ager?

    I do want him to be in her life and for them to have a healthy nourished relationship. But overnight visits at age 3?



    You need it

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    In my living room telling lil'blu to go to sleep
    My eldest was 2 weeks for her first overnight. It honestly didn't occur to me that the FATHER of my child would be incapable of feeding, loving, putting to bed, changing a diaper...etc...As I am sure the hospital assumed that I would be able to do those things.

    Parenting is "on the job training".

    Daughter loved being with her Dad and his side of the family..She flourished and became one of the most capable people I have ever had the honor of knowing!!!

    Last edited by Blue Meanie; 02-19-2009 at 12:27 PM.
  5. #20
    Kind of funny their not even divorced and her post title calls HIM the NCP.

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    are those flames?!!!
    I got lucky. My ex and I split when our son was 2 and our daughter was 4 months. He understood my insecurities and didn't take our dd overnight until she was almost a year. Son was going for overnights almost as soon as we split.

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
    Quote Originally Posted by mwarren1980 View Post
    Ok first its abandonment (which means not seeing the child or anything which clearly is NOT the case)
    It was 'abandonment' because hubby 'abandoned' HER, he obviously, even to her own admission has not 'abandoned' his child, which is the right thing to do.

  8. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by LotusFlower View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan.

    We have not filed for divorce yet and my 3 year old daughter lives with me. She's never spent a night away from home and no one but me has put her to bed in about 2.5 years.
    At 36 MONTHS old, it's really time to sever that umbilical cord a bit!

    C'mon, Mom! You've NEVER had a night away from your kid? If so, it's really time, already. And with her very own daddy, what is the big deal?

    Last edited by nextwife; 02-19-2009 at 01:20 PM.
  9. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    With Capt'n Hook
    Michigan parenting plan guidelines:


    Child(ren) under school age (generally under 4)
    By statute, the age of a child(ren) is a factor when the child(ren) is
    receiving substantial nutrition through nursing. If the child(ren) is
    nursing, the parenting time shall be limited and arranged in a manner to
    accommodate the nursing pattern unless other provisions can be made.
    The age of the child(ren) may also be a reason for ordering supervised
    parenting time when there is a lack of parenting skills on the part of
    either of the parents.
    Additionally, if the parents live a distance apart, transportation may be
    an issue for child(ren) in this age group (e.g. sleeping and eating
    patterns may be disrupted). Also, children under certain ages may not
    be permitted to fly or change planes unless accompanied by an adult.
    For children this age, the alternating weekend parenting time may not
    be entirely appropriate. It may be more appropriate to limit the weekend
    to one overnight or to increase the frequency of contact to every
    weekend with a shorter duration. The longer school break parenting time
    might be eliminated in favor of shorter blocks of time spread out over
    the year.
    Child(ren) approaching school age (generally 4-5 years)
    As a child(ren) becomes older and approaches school age, the child(ren)
    may benefit from more frequent contact with the non-custodial parent.
    This will mean that the time periods of unsupervised parenting time
    may need to be expanded while those time periods of shared custody
    would need to be shorter but more frequent.
    For a child(ren) this age, the alternating weekend parenting time
    schedule may be implemented. However, the longer school breaks might
    be eliminated in favor of shorter blocks of time spread out over the year.
    For joint custodial relationships, parenting time should occur more
    frequently, but be of shorter duration.
    You will note that it accounts for the child having the SAME amount of TIME - it is just broken up into smaller chunks so that y'all get to SEE each other many more times.

    other places for parenting plans:

    As a sidenote: Lotusflower - you are an overcontrolling wench who wants to punish dad because he found someone else more appealing. Might want to look within yourself to see why.

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