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  1. #1
    Dana13 Guest

    overnight visitation

    What is the name of your state? Massachusetts

    My husband and I are separated. We have not done anything regarding divorce or custody. We have a 6 month old boy. I heard that my husband cannot take him overnight until he is one year old. Is this true? He has been taking him every other weekend and when his nights off fall on a weekend, he takes him overnight. We both agreed to abide to a certain schedule for our son. (i.e. 7:30pm relax-time, 8:00pm in bed) My husband had him out until 10:30pm the other night because he stated, if he can bring our son out with him, he will. I believe for the best interest of our son right now, he does not take him overnights. My husband is very selfish and will put himself first rather than his son. How do I start the process of a custody/visitation agreement? How does this work? Do I need to retain a lawyer for this or is this something a lawyer can charge hourly for? Is there such a law that states no overnight visits until 1 year old? I am so new to this divorce/custody stuff, I am very scared and I have so many questions, is there a place in Massachusetts that I can go to to get answers without having to pay someone? I want to make sure what I say to my husband is true by law. Thanks.
  2. #2
    hexeliebe Guest
    We have a 6 month old boy. I heard that my husband cannot take him overnight until he is one year old.
    No. Your HUSBAND (notice there is no divorce or court-ordered visitation/custody/support yet) has the same rights as you do. In fact, if he wants, your husband could take the baby to "Debbie Does Dallas" and share his popcorn.

    As to the answer to all your other questions, yes, you need to speak with an attorney. At the minimum an attorney can advise you of your state's laws regarding custody, visitation and support and can advise you also on what to seek in the way of limitations on visitation.

    he/she will also know the proper forms, motions and procedures to follow in filing the above.

    As of right now, you and your husband have exactly the same rights. Are you really wanting to march into court without more than "Well, we agreed" to back you up?
  3. #3
    sbaldwin is offline Member
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    Not saying I agree, but**************.

    What your husband does with the child during his parenting time is completely up to him until there is a court order that states something different.
  4. #4
    Dana13 Guest
    Hexeliebe - Thanks for your reply

    I understand that we have the same rights right now because there is no order or divorce yet. That is why I want to get one filed. But once I file for custody, is there a law that states that a child under the age of one will not be allowed overnight visits or is this something that is just made up between the parties? I heard this somewhere, only I can't remember where I heard it and if it's a law.

    Your right, the "we agreed" part is pretty silly to bring to court. So then tell me what am I supposed to do?

    Once the agreement is filed and he takes him overnight and brings him back at 10:00pm do I have a say then? What does an agreement usually have regarding scheduling of children?

    It would be so much easier if he just moved away
  5. #5
    hexeliebe Guest
    Easier on you maybe, but a child deserves and needs both parents in their life. So comments like that make me wonder.

    As for your original question. No, there is no law anywhere that I know of that states a child may not spend overnights with the father until age 1.

    IF such a thing is true, it's in the custody order from a judge. And usually, ONLY supervised visitation or some other health reasons on the part of the child.

    As for how you go about getting started, see a family law attorney in your area. Although this may seem like a cop-out to you, I have no idea what issues are involved, the rules and forms for your court system, nor do I have the luxury of sitting across from you and asking the questions that I'd need to ask.
  6. #6
    Dana13 Guest
    "It would be so much easier if he just moved away" was just a figure of speach. I agree that a child needs both his parents, but both parents need to put the child first, not themselves.

    I am very curious as to how can people from other states give advice regarding law on a particular state, one that they aren't living in, when all states are different? Honest question...I am just trying to understand this board.

    As for my original question and your answer, are you not aware of any such law because you don't know what Massachusetts laws says or are you saying there is no law in Massachusetts like that because you know Massachusetts laws?
  7. #7
    juke is offline Member
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    Thumbs down

    I am certainly not going to help you with your snotty little "the FATHER of the child should MOVE AWAY" attitude. Nor should anyone else, till you get your act together.

    Go look on the internet or in a law library for answers all by yourself, you selfish, controlling little weasel.
  8. #8
    hexeliebe Guest
    "It would be so much easier if he just moved away" was just a figure of speach. I agree that a child needs both his parents, but both parents need to put the child first, not themselves.
    Of course it is, but that's not your call. You only have control over your actions.

    I am very curious as to how can people from other states give advice regarding law on a particular state, one that they aren't living in, when all states are different? Honest question...I am just trying to understand this board.
    And that's exactly why I told you to speak with a family law attorney in your area. The general proceedings and statutes of every state are similar and that's what I commented on. But the specifics you need to see a family law attorney for.

    As for my original question and your answer, are you not aware of any such law because you don't know what Massachusetts laws says or are you saying there is no law in Massachusetts like that because you know Massachusetts laws?
    I have NEVER seen such a law. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but if I said it did would that change anything. You need to start doing a little research or ask a family law attorney in your area...again. Any forum you come to will tell you the same thing. Because although I could do the research and give you a definitative answer, it's ultimately up to you because no one is in your situatio.

    Also, if there is such a statute in any state in this country, someone would have come on to tell us both now, wouldn't they.
  9. #9
    kidoday is offline Senior Member
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    Dana so far all I can find for MA is reasonable visitation schedule. The courts ask that the parents work it out amongst themselves. I will continue looking though.

    Hex, Mi and Indiana have such laws regarding no overnights until 18 months. In MI the FOC in each county have the jurisdiction to govern which parenting time schdule that is to be used. In my county Shared Parenting is becoming the norm, where in the county I work in it isn't even considered.
    Last edited by kidoday; 07-28-2003 at 02:47 PM.
  10. #10
    hexeliebe Guest
    I'm not arguing with you kidoday, but I'd prefer to see statute references.

    And what happens when the CP is the father?
  11. #11
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
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    I know our state has that with babies however I think for one you have to ask for it and for two the OP may have voided that by already allowing dad to have child.
  12. #12
    Dana13 Guest
    Kidoday - thank you very much for your input.


    When I posted on this board, I had no idea what to expect. I thought I could ask any question without feeling like I was being laughed at or judged. I certainly didn't expect to be put-down or thrashed at.

    People who reply to these postings need to understand that when some individuals post to this board, they know nothing and need your help or advice. Some feel like they are in a crisis, while others just need someone to tell them where to start. You might get a few that don't feel good about their situtation, and so YOU, the people who have already been through this or who have been posting forever and know alot more than this person, need to be the bigger one and overlook their comment(s) and give them advice rather than put them down.

    That's all.
  13. #13
    juke is offline Member
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    Thumbs down

    Why on earth should I or anyone else "overlook" a major, UGLY statement like yours?
    Look, lady, you didn't make that baby by yourself. You have a husband, the father of your child, and you want to cut him out of the child's life for your convenience, or so that you can control his every move with the child for the next 18 years. To say the very least, it is entirely wrong of you to take this attitude. Get over it, or expect to be treated like the weasel you certainly appear to be.
  14. #14
    kidoday is offline Senior Member
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    Question Hex

    I wasn't argueing. At least I didn't think I was.

    I can't find the dang statute for Michigan right now, all I can find is different FOC's parenting time formats.

    I don't agree with the 18 month thing. I think all parents should have a right to their child. I was just stating that I know there are states that say no overnights.

    I am still trying to find the MA statues, but the sight is awful to work with. But then maybe it is me.
  15. #15
    hexeliebe Guest
    I didn't think you were arguing silly. Just want to see if I'm wrong. I was once in '73

    And I agree, regardless, children need to have both parents. I was doing the 2 a.m. walks with the spit on my shoulder, changed those disgusting diapers and have been the one sitting next to the crib at 4 a.m. when the baby refuses to sleep and wants to play...

    And I went through this with both girls, before the age of one until today when they are 10 and 8.

    As for Juke, shut the hell up. You are showing your ignorance. Period.

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