Overnight visitation

[twentyfive]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I recently filed for child support/custody of my 5 yr old son. His father and I were "together" for 6 years. We never lived together. Our son has never lived with him, he has always lived with me. He has never formally payed child support or contributed much money for our son.
Upon speaking to a lawyer, he told me normal visitation will likely include overnights. My ex lives in a one bedroom apartment. He has no accomodations for our son. Also, our son has never slept at his place. He as only been there about a dozen times in the past year. Our son is apprehensive about going there even for visitation for a few hours. What can I do or say to the judge to only allow visitation without overnights?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Send him an air matress - camping at dad's. YOUR apprehension is flowing to your son.

YOUR job as CP is to faciliate a relationship between the child and the NCP.

 

[mommyof4]

Nada....nadaadamnthing....

You need to get it through your head right now that he will not just be visiting some guy. Your son will be staying at his second home with his father.

If you wanted to have a child all to yourself, you should have either someohow channelled the Virgin Mary or gone to a sperm bank.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I recently filed for child support/custody of my 5 yr old son. His father and I were "together" for 6 years. We never lived together. Our son has never lived with him, he has always lived with me. He has never formally payed child support or contributed much money for our son.
Upon speaking to a lawyer, he told me normal visitation will likely include overnights. My ex lives in a one bedroom apartment. He has no accomodations for our son. Also, our son has never slept at his place. He as only been there about a dozen times in the past year. Our son is apprehensive about going there even for visitation for a few hours. What can I do or say to the judge to only allow visitation without overnights?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Is widdle babyboy also askeered of spending the night at Grandma's? Will he ever be spending the night at a friend's house?



As you've been told by your attorney and the advisors here: Get used to it. Better yet, get your child used to it. That's his father he'll be spending time with. It's a good thing.

 

[ALGURLX1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I recently filed for child support/custody of my 5 yr old son. His father and I were "together" for 6 years. We never lived together. Our son has never lived with him, he has always lived with me. He has never formally payed child support or contributed much money for our son.
Upon speaking to a lawyer, he told me normal visitation will likely include overnights. My ex lives in a one bedroom apartment. He has no accomodations for our son. Also, our son has never slept at his place. He as only been there about a dozen times in the past year. Our son is apprehensive about going there even for visitation for a few hours. What can I do or say to the judge to only allow visitation without overnights?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Dad will be able to get overnights. Maybe not legal advice, but from one mom to another, don't feed into the drama of and overnight. Make it a big fun thing. If he doesn't have accomadations doesn't mean its a bad thing. When my XH first did the overnights he made it into a big camp ground in the living room. His GF made all kinds of snacks and thats what they did for a few months the first few over nights. If you don't make a huge huff over it the child shouldn't either, it's his father after all!
I had to have a "daughter is spending the night away someone nurse me through this with some liquor" party, on the first night It works wonders LOL

 

[Just Blue]

What can I do or say to the judge to only allow visitation without overnights?

Why would you even WANT to do this???

You do understand, as a custodial parent, you JOB is to facilitate the relationship between your child and the NCP?? If you don't feel up to this JOB, you could always spout your idiocy to the Judge and s/he will award the NCP primary custody.

 

[Silverplum]

You do understand, as a custodial parent, you JOB is to facilitate the relationship between your child and the NCP?? If you don't feel up to this JOB, you could always spout your idiocy to the Judge and s/he will award the NCP primary custody.

^^^^
Legal truth. Like it or not.

 

[Just Blue]

^^^^
Legal truth. Like it or not.

I am sure "not" will be her answer...

 

[mommyof4]

Why would you even WANT to do this???

Because she has never had to share before and, just like a toddler, is having to learn to do so now.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I recently filed for child support/custody of my 5 yr old son.

So you DO want him to be the "financial dad"?

What can I do or say to the judge to only allow visitation without overnights?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

But you DON'T want him to be a REAL dad? Just a short term visitor in his child's life? Not a child that wakes up with their daddy and has breakfast together? Not a child that gets to have his daddy tuck him in, and to know daddy is down the hall when he's sleeping? What exactly do you think a dad is supposed to be? Just a guy that pays child support?

 

[Ohiogal]

Dad will be able to get overnights. Maybe not legal advice, but from one mom to another, don't feed into the drama of and overnight. Make it a big fun thing. If he doesn't have accomadations doesn't mean its a bad thing. When my XH first did the overnights he made it into a big camp ground in the living room. His GF made all kinds of snacks and thats what they did for a few months the first few over nights. If you don't make a huge huff over it the child shouldn't either, it's his father after all!
I had to have a "daughter is spending the night away someone nurse me through this with some liquor" party, on the first night It works wonders LOL

For a newbie and for stating that it is NOT legal advice it is DEFINITELY GOOD ADVICE. Of course you mentioned the GF and now this OP is going to be thinking about ways to make sure NO OTHER FEMALE is EVER around her little baby boy because he wont' be able to recognize HER from anyone else and we dont' confuse the child.

Seriously though, for a newbie you done good.

 

[ALGURLX1]

Thanks! Sorry about the GF thing However I felt the sameway at first. I quite honestly don't like my XH GF personally, but she is GREAT with my daughter and I would rather have that than the alternative!! I was blessed with the non-wicked STB stepmother for my daughter.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

One of the hardest things to do, after a divorce, is to TRUST your most precious child with the person from whom you are separated/divorced/ not-together-anymore.

It's called parenting style differences.

And I bawled my eyes out the first Christmas I was without my children. You learn to make NEW traditions.

 

[StampGirl]

One of the hardest things to do, after a divorce, is to TRUST your most precious child with the person from whom you are separated/divorced/ not-together-anymore.

It's called parenting style differences.

And I bawled my eyes out the first Christmas I was without my children. You learn to make NEW traditions.

Ginny I think we all bawled our eyes out the very first time!!! I had to take a vacation to Napa Valley the first weekend my lil one spent at her dad's house. Mind you she was only 4 months old and the other 2 had been doing it for almost a year!!! ha ha I was tramatized but the awesome wine tasting etc helped a GREAT DEAL!!!!

OP: You get used to it. TRUST ME!!! I enjoy the "me' time I get away from my kids and they enjoy hanging with Dad.

 

[ALGURLX1]

Ginny I think we all bawled our eyes out the very first time!!! I had to take a vacation to Napa Valley the first weekend my lil one spent at her dad's house. Mind you she was only 4 months old and the other 2 had been doing it for almost a year!!! ha ha I was tramatized but the awesome wine tasting etc helped a GREAT DEAL!!!!

OP: You get used to it. TRUST ME!!! I enjoy the "me' time I get away from my kids and they enjoy hanging with Dad.

That is how i look at it now. EOW I get a little VACA and trust me when my daughter gets home my house is spotless**************.. for about 1 minute!