Overnight Visitation

[Frustrated434]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

Court order restricting parenting time states that once six months of clean hair follicles are available, regular parenting time (as per the filed parenting plan) shall resume. I (father, NCP) submitted those tests to CP and her lawyer in order to regain parenting time. CP would only allow me 2 hrs, 3 hrs and 7 hrs over three days during the Thanksgiving holiday. According to the parenting plan, this was my year to have our minor child who is 7. Went along because there was not enough time to go to court and was happy to have any time with my son. Trying to travel back to CO in order to spend a long weekend with him and CP is saying that I can only have him for one overnight. Since the court order was satisfied am I right in thinking that full visitation should be restored? The parenting plan states that I have every other weekend with him, including overnights. If I am traveling to CO to see him then I believe I am entitled to have him the full weekend and not just one night. Please help me understand where I stand with this legally. It is also important to note that my son and I have a great relationship. He constantly asks when he is going to see me again and specifically asks when he can stay overnight with me. So it is not an issue of the child not being comfortable around me.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

Court order restricting parenting time states that once six months of clean hair follicles are available, regular parenting time (as per the filed parenting plan) shall resume. I (father, NCP) submitted those tests to CP and her lawyer in order to regain parenting time. CP would only allow me 2 hrs, 3 hrs and 7 hrs over three days during the Thanksgiving holiday. According to the parenting plan, this was my year to have our minor child who is 7. Went along because there was not enough time to go to court and was happy to have any time with my son. Trying to travel back to CO in order to spend a long weekend with him and CP is saying that I can only have him for one overnight. Since the court order was satisfied am I right in thinking that full visitation should be restored? The parenting plan states that I have every other weekend with him, including overnights. If I am traveling to CO to see him then I believe I am entitled to have him the full weekend and not just one night. Please help me understand where I stand with this legally. It is also important to note that my son and I have a great relationship. He constantly asks when he is going to see me again and specifically asks when he can stay overnight with me. So it is not an issue of the child not being comfortable around me.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Let's start with the exact wording of your most recent order (word for word, but without the names).

Then, the exact wording of the order that says you should have had Thanksgiving.

 

[Frustrated434]

"Respondent shall not resume regular parenting time without supervision until Respondent has complied with the testing requirement set forth in this Agreement and all test results show he's been "clean" for six consecutive months" <--This is referring to hair follicle testing that was to show negative for all substances, which have been completed and attorneys for both parties have certified copies.

"Thanksgiving week/or weekend: Father shall have child on odd years beginning in 2005 and Mother shall have child in even years beginning either the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving or the weekend prior to Thanksgiving, depending upon the school schedule or child, and ending the Sunday after Thanksgiving." <--She allowed me to have him 2 hrs the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, 4 hrs on Thanksgving, and 7 hrs on Friday.

Regular parenting time according to the parenting plan (I live out of state now and am in the process of trying to negotiate a new parenting plan, which isn't going well since she won't even let me see him according to the old one.) I am traveling to see him anytime I have the chance and when she agrees to it in the meantime. --> "Every other Friday through Sunday from 2:00 pm to 2:00 pm"

This parenting plan is also from before the child was in school so there are some other weekday visits that would no longer be possible. I realize that I messed up initially but I have done what was required of me and she agreed to the terms of the order but is now still restricting when I can see him.

 

[mistoffolees]

"Respondent shall not resume regular parenting time without supervision until Respondent has complied with the testing requirement set forth in this Agreement and all test results show he's been "clean" for six consecutive months" <--This is referring to hair follicle testing that was to show negative for all substances, which have been completed and attorneys for both parties have certified copies.

"Thanksgiving week/or weekend: Father shall have child on odd years beginning in 2005 and Mother shall have child in even years beginning either the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving or the weekend prior to Thanksgiving, depending upon the school schedule or child, and ending the Sunday after Thanksgiving." <--She allowed me to have him 2 hrs the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, 4 hrs on Thanksgving, and 7 hrs on Friday.

Regular parenting time according to the parenting plan (I live out of state now and am in the process of trying to negotiate a new parenting plan, which isn't going well since she won't even let me see him according to the old one.) I am traveling to see him anytime I have the chance and when she agrees to it in the meantime. --> "Every other Friday through Sunday from 2:00 pm to 2:00 pm"

This parenting plan is also from before the child was in school so there are some other weekday visits that would no longer be possible. I realize that I messed up initially but I have done what was required of me and she agreed to the terms of the order but is now still restricting when I can see him.

Then you can file for contempt if she didn't follow the court order regarding your visitation.

Or, tell her that the next time she interferes with your visitation that you'll file for contempt.

 

[Frustrated434]

Thank you for assistance on my last question regarding overnight visitation. This question has to do with the new parenting plan that I am trying to work out with the CP. Our son is 7 years old.

I live out of state and am asking for: Every other spring break and Thanksgiving break. Winter break is two weeks so I am requesting that we alternate taking the first and second week of that each year. One long weekend each year (she may provide three dates from which I can choose) and 6 weeks in the summer. I am paying for all travel (Unaccompanied Minor) since I am the one that moved away. I am asking, however, that she be responsible if she insists I change dates after arrangements have been made or if she is late getting to the airport. Only the amount above and beyond what was already paid by me.

1) How should costs be split if the child becomes too sick to fly? That’s not necessarily the fault of either of us so should that be split 50/50? Also, should I insist on documentation that the child is sick from a doctor?
2) Are judges fairly split on the Unaccompanied Minor situation? I think 7, depending on the child, is fine with all the security procedures that are involved. My dad (who is neutral and trusted by both parties) has said that he may be willing to fly with my son the first time in order to “show him the ropes”.
3) Since my ex is currently not allowing me my full visitation when I come to town (restricting overnights, although the current parenting plan allows them) I am considering waiting to go to court before traveling there again. I figure that even if the judge orders me to come there for visitation a few more times before my son flies out to me, that I will still get further with a judge than I am with her. Also, I want to have the money to travel there if a judge orders it after court instead of going there beforehand and not having the money to go visit again right away. What is everyone’s opinion on that? Does that sound reasonable or am I rushing to court too soon? (We have been going back and forth with the new parenting plan for about a month and have made no progress other than that I must go there to see him but even then I can only see him for short periods of time)

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for assistance on my last question regarding overnight visitation. This question has to do with the new parenting plan that I am trying to work out with the CP. Our son is 7 years old.

I live out of state and am asking for: Every other spring break and Thanksgiving break. Winter break is two weeks so I am requesting that we alternate taking the first and second week of that each year. One long weekend each year (she may provide three dates from which I can choose) and 6 weeks in the summer. I am paying for all travel (Unaccompanied Minor) since I am the one that moved away. I am asking, however, that she be responsible if she insists I change dates after arrangements have been made or if she is late getting to the airport. Only the amount above and beyond what was already paid by me.

1) How should costs be split if the child becomes too sick to fly? That’s not necessarily the fault of either of us so should that be split 50/50? Also, should I insist on documentation that the child is sick from a doctor?
2) Are judges fairly split on the Unaccompanied Minor situation? I think 7, depending on the child, is fine with all the security procedures that are involved. My dad (who is neutral and trusted by both parties) has said that he may be willing to fly with my son the first time in order to “show him the ropes”.
3) Since my ex is currently not allowing me my full visitation when I come to town (restricting overnights, although the current parenting plan allows them) I am considering waiting to go to court before traveling there again. I figure that even if the judge orders me to come there for visitation a few more times before my son flies out to me, that I will still get further with a judge than I am with her. Also, I want to have the money to travel there if a judge orders it after court instead of going there beforehand and not having the money to go visit again right away. What is everyone’s opinion on that? Does that sound reasonable or am I rushing to court too soon? (We have been going back and forth with the new parenting plan for about a month and have made no progress other than that I must go there to see him but even then I can only see him for short periods of time)

Just a comment dad...something to watch out for. Not all judges have exactly the same attitude about young children traveling as unaccompanied minors. Your child is still young enough that a judge might not agree with you about that one. Just be prepared for that, in case.

 

[Frustrated434]

Yea, I figured that one was a 50/50 shot depending on the judge's opinions. I am bracing myself for him/her to possibly order a phased in version of my parenting plan. It is expensive, but as a last resort I am willing to make sure that someone is flying with the child the first few times. This would be more for the CP then the child. He is very adventurous and I think after once or twice any fear he may experience would be gone. Of course, we won't know how the child truly feels about it until the time comes to carry it out....

 

[Frustrated434]

Back again. My ex is claiming that our son began acting out after he returned from spending a few hours with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I feel that this is likely due to his sadness over having to say goodbye to me for the time being. I have also found informal information that supports my line of thinking. However, she is using this as a means to deny me visitation until she gets him counseling (her own counselor, not a neutral party that I offered to pay half for). Does anyone have articles or something similar that I could reference when we go to court? I would like to have something that the court would at least consider reviewing rather than just random articles containing "advice" that I found on the internet. Thank you.

 

[Nevergrowup]

Back again. My ex is claiming that our son began acting out after he returned from spending a few hours with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I feel that this is likely due to his sadness over having to say goodbye to me for the time being. I have also found informal information that supports my line of thinking. However, she is using this as a means to deny me visitation until she gets him counseling (her own counselor, not a neutral party that I offered to pay half for). Does anyone have articles or something similar that I could reference when we go to court? I would like to have something that the court would at least consider reviewing rather than just random articles containing "advice" that I found on the internet. Thank you.

She cannot deny you parenting time. If she denies you, file for contempt. You may want to highlight the court order visitation section, and send her a letter with it stating that you fully intend to exercise your visitation and if she denies you, for any reason, you will take her for contempt, and that you will do so every single time she denies. Then state you will agree to a counselor that you jointly choose.

 

[Frustrated434]

She cannot deny you parenting time. If she denies you, file for contempt. You may want to highlight the court order visitation section, and send her a letter with it stating that you fully intend to exercise your visitation and if she denies you, for any reason, you will take her for contempt, and that you will do so every single time she denies. Then state you will agree to a counselor that you jointly choose.

My lawyer and hers have been back and forth over this issue but they aren't budging. We have already had a motion and their response to our motion filed with the court. My lawyer is supposed to be getting either a hearing date or an order for mediation from the judge this week. There are several things that need to be modified regarding my visitation and she just attempts to block me on every single one. We have the communications between both lawyers showing that I have offered multiple times to split the cost of a counselor and her refusal. Just hoping to have as much research and backup as possible when I show up for court. This is too important to me to just show up and hope for the best, even if I believe I'm right. Unfortunately, you can never predict the judge's frame of mind or opinions.

 

[Frustrated434]

Hi again - I have another question. I am still waiting on a hearing date (the waiting is killing me!!) but will be traveling to the child's area to attend court. I will be requesting parenting time from the judge for the weekend immediately following the hearing (since I'm already in town). What are the odds that he/she will grant that to me on short notice? The CP often goes out of town (couple hours away) to stay with her bf/fiance (??) on the weekends that she does not have to work. If she claims that she had plans to go out of town, is the judge likely to tell her too bad?

I would hate to travel all that way just to get told that I cannot spend time with my son because she is making a trip that she makes approx. every other weekend. My thinking is that she can still go after she leaves our son with me since it's just a car ride away....

I'm fairly confident that the hearing will go my way in terms of being allowed more parenting time than I currently receive (hardly any if left to CP's discretion). So, making the assumption that the judge approves some variation of the parenting plan I am requesting (since she will not even discuss it with me at this point) will he/she be likely to order that my son and I get to spend time together while I am in town over the weekend?

 

[Frustrated434]

Update

Court was actually a few months back but I wanted to post the results for anyone browsing through this forum for cases similar to theirs.

We wound up having a CFI assigned to our case, at my lawyer's request and the CP did not fight it. After over a year of ridiculous motions and similar stalling tactics, I finally had my day in court. The CFI testified that there were absolutely no issues present and that I should be given standard long distance visitation, at a minimum. At the time of the hearing I had all of the hair follicles originally ordered by the court plus several months' of additional urine and hair test results (called at random by testing facility). The judge actually stated at one point that she was not concerned with the past because it was so far in the past, I had more than enough proof showing that I had been clean for quite some time and the CFI was so adament that my son and I should be allowed to spend as much time together as possible. The CFI also stated that I had been more than accomodating anytime anything was requested of me; a phone call, meeting, pictures of my home, observation of my son and I interacting (also him interacting with his step-siblings and step-mom). It was pointed out that I had made an obvious effort to spend time with my son whenever I could since I had traveled to his area several times just to see him while everything was pending....even when the CP was only "allowing" little blocks of time and I wasn't able to have him overnights or for extended periods of time.


This is what was ordered as far as parenting time for me and my son:

Unaccompanied travel permitted
Two long weekends per year
Every spring break
Every other Thanksgiving/Fall break
Split 2-week winter break equally, alternating the Christmas holiday
Six weeks or half of the summer, whichever is greater
Visitation anytime I am in the area with 2 weeks notice given to CP

There are obviously other things in there but that covers the visitation portion. After all that time of fighting me and continuing to bring my past up and try to use it against me (despite the numerous clean test results) the judge didn't even hesitate in the ruling. The judge stated that the CP needed to let the past go, have some faith and trust in me and suggested that she find some relief in the fact that I was clean now and fighting so hard to spend time with our son.

I started reading this forum when this all started over a year ago and it definitely helped me through. I learned a lot just by browsing through. Thank you!

 

[Silverplum]

Excellent results! I'm so pleased for you.