CJane
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO
Ok... so, a brief recap of the past 5 years, and then onto my questions.
August 2008, Ex was granted primary custody of 2 daughters. Included in the order as a clause that said (paraphrasing) that if he moved outside the current school district, custody would reverse.
April 2011, oldest daughter who was then 14 spoke to school counselor and myself about an incident involving StepMother. Family services was called, an investigation was opened, and the case was considered "founded" and a safety plan was put into place. Children remained primarily with Father at that time.
March 2012, BOTH children reported further incidents to school administrators/teachers/me, and family services was once again involved. This time, Father wished to avoid an investigation, and dropped the children off at my house the night he was contacted by the social worker. They were left in my driveway with a duffle bag each, a few possessions (track medals, an alarm clock, a couple of stuffed animals) in a box, and that's it. Ex sent me a text message saying that "some things would have to be worked out" before the children could return to his home.
Since then, I blocked StepMom's phone number so she couldn't text the children, as she was being VERY inappropriate. The children do receive occasional texts from their father, expressing sentiments from wishing they were safe to be around, to their involvement of Family Services being like "murder to the family unit", to his dismay that they continue to be unforgivable. I have never blocked HIS number, or in any way interfered with his communications to the children.
In January of 2013, Ex wanted to meet me for dinner, to see if we could work out a "pathway back". Essentially, he told me that the kids could only return to his home if they promised to NEVER AGAIN report ANYTHING to family services, and if they understood that he would ALWAYS choose his wife over them because his commitment to her was eternal, his commitment to THEM was until they were grown. Up until this point, he'd seen the younger child once, for a less than 2 hour dinner.
Later that month, both children had dinner with their Father. Again, less than 2 hours.
Fast forward to January of 2014... Oldest daughter has not seen her Father since the one dinner in 2013. Youngest child has only seen him once since then, for a lunch date.
In July, Father moved out of the marital home, out of the school district, and about 45 minutes away. In his notice of relocation, he said that "his family's" best interests can no longer serve our mutual children's interests, and that he did not anticipate his move having any impact at all on our children's residence. He also indicated that he wanted to "formalize the current custody arrangements".
In September 2013, I sent him a joint motion to modify, granting me custody, him visitation as agreed between us and child support based on what I assume his income to be. He declined to sign, stating he wanted "50% access".
So, here I am a few months later, and I'm planning to relocate with my long-time BF who just got orders to Fort Lewis in WA. We're getting married sometime this year, but whether that will be before we move in July, or after the dust settles, remains to be determined. He has full custody of his children, and with the long distance plan and school schedules and trying to sell two houses and consolidate households and plan packout dates, etc... well, the actual getting married won't receive it's due attention if we try to rush it.
ANYWAY. I sent my ex notification that I was moving, as statute requires. I assume he will try to fight the relocation simply because he CAN. I stated that the children should relocate with me due to their longtime estrangement from "his family", the fact that he's provided no support, and participated in no parenting duties/decisions/obligations for almost 2 years, and the fact that he's only seen the children a very few times in almost 2 years. Also, oldest child already planned to attend college in Washington state, and if we move out there this summer, she'll establish residency before she graduates from high school, allowing her to pay in-state tuition.
It's worth noting that the children are now 17 and almost 14, and the 17 year old will age out of any visitation/custody orders in December of this year - 5 months after the move.
I have prepared a motion, which I included with my notification of relocation (also per statute, as it requires a new parenting plan to be submitted), asking for sole legal/physical custody, visitation as agreed, me paying 1/2 of air fare for visits, Dad's signature on any forms for passports to allow the children to travel internationally, and child support. I have also requested, in that motion, a motion for the judge to hear the children in camera.
SO! Finally.
Given all of the above.
1) Does he have a leg to stand on in fighting a relocation?
2) What is the likelihood that at the kids ages a judge would NOT listen to their wishes (it IS one of the 8 best interest factors)
3) Is the fact that one child will age out so soon of any relevance whatsoever? I can't see a judge telling her that she has to move schools, move in with her Dad whom she hasn't seen in 2 years, and stay there for 5 months until she turns 18 and then she'll just move schools again when she moves in with me anyway.
4) Are courts as averse to splitting siblings as I have always believed them to be?
5) I do NOT wish to drag in dirty laundry. Whatever happened with StepMom happened. No one was there other than the kids and her, so I can't say for certain what happened. To me, it's water under the bridge in a sense, and the more pressing issue is that my Ex has abandoned all parental responsibility for 2 years. Am I correct?
6) My worst case scenario is that ex successfully prevents the relocation and the kids mutiny. They have told me in no uncertain terms that they will not live with their StepMother again, and certainly not under the conditions that their Father told them would exist (agreeing never to call CPS again, agreeing that EVERYTHING that happened was a) their fault and b) totally made up).
7) This is not a case of spoiled children being allowed to choose where they live. These are children who were literally dropped off in my driveway at 930 at night, and excommunicated from the family.
Are my odds of a successful move any better than 50/50?
Ok... so, a brief recap of the past 5 years, and then onto my questions.
August 2008, Ex was granted primary custody of 2 daughters. Included in the order as a clause that said (paraphrasing) that if he moved outside the current school district, custody would reverse.
April 2011, oldest daughter who was then 14 spoke to school counselor and myself about an incident involving StepMother. Family services was called, an investigation was opened, and the case was considered "founded" and a safety plan was put into place. Children remained primarily with Father at that time.
March 2012, BOTH children reported further incidents to school administrators/teachers/me, and family services was once again involved. This time, Father wished to avoid an investigation, and dropped the children off at my house the night he was contacted by the social worker. They were left in my driveway with a duffle bag each, a few possessions (track medals, an alarm clock, a couple of stuffed animals) in a box, and that's it. Ex sent me a text message saying that "some things would have to be worked out" before the children could return to his home.
Since then, I blocked StepMom's phone number so she couldn't text the children, as she was being VERY inappropriate. The children do receive occasional texts from their father, expressing sentiments from wishing they were safe to be around, to their involvement of Family Services being like "murder to the family unit", to his dismay that they continue to be unforgivable. I have never blocked HIS number, or in any way interfered with his communications to the children.
In January of 2013, Ex wanted to meet me for dinner, to see if we could work out a "pathway back". Essentially, he told me that the kids could only return to his home if they promised to NEVER AGAIN report ANYTHING to family services, and if they understood that he would ALWAYS choose his wife over them because his commitment to her was eternal, his commitment to THEM was until they were grown. Up until this point, he'd seen the younger child once, for a less than 2 hour dinner.
Later that month, both children had dinner with their Father. Again, less than 2 hours.
Fast forward to January of 2014... Oldest daughter has not seen her Father since the one dinner in 2013. Youngest child has only seen him once since then, for a lunch date.
In July, Father moved out of the marital home, out of the school district, and about 45 minutes away. In his notice of relocation, he said that "his family's" best interests can no longer serve our mutual children's interests, and that he did not anticipate his move having any impact at all on our children's residence. He also indicated that he wanted to "formalize the current custody arrangements".
In September 2013, I sent him a joint motion to modify, granting me custody, him visitation as agreed between us and child support based on what I assume his income to be. He declined to sign, stating he wanted "50% access".
So, here I am a few months later, and I'm planning to relocate with my long-time BF who just got orders to Fort Lewis in WA. We're getting married sometime this year, but whether that will be before we move in July, or after the dust settles, remains to be determined. He has full custody of his children, and with the long distance plan and school schedules and trying to sell two houses and consolidate households and plan packout dates, etc... well, the actual getting married won't receive it's due attention if we try to rush it.
ANYWAY. I sent my ex notification that I was moving, as statute requires. I assume he will try to fight the relocation simply because he CAN. I stated that the children should relocate with me due to their longtime estrangement from "his family", the fact that he's provided no support, and participated in no parenting duties/decisions/obligations for almost 2 years, and the fact that he's only seen the children a very few times in almost 2 years. Also, oldest child already planned to attend college in Washington state, and if we move out there this summer, she'll establish residency before she graduates from high school, allowing her to pay in-state tuition.
It's worth noting that the children are now 17 and almost 14, and the 17 year old will age out of any visitation/custody orders in December of this year - 5 months after the move.
I have prepared a motion, which I included with my notification of relocation (also per statute, as it requires a new parenting plan to be submitted), asking for sole legal/physical custody, visitation as agreed, me paying 1/2 of air fare for visits, Dad's signature on any forms for passports to allow the children to travel internationally, and child support. I have also requested, in that motion, a motion for the judge to hear the children in camera.
SO! Finally.
Given all of the above.
1) Does he have a leg to stand on in fighting a relocation?
2) What is the likelihood that at the kids ages a judge would NOT listen to their wishes (it IS one of the 8 best interest factors)
3) Is the fact that one child will age out so soon of any relevance whatsoever? I can't see a judge telling her that she has to move schools, move in with her Dad whom she hasn't seen in 2 years, and stay there for 5 months until she turns 18 and then she'll just move schools again when she moves in with me anyway.
4) Are courts as averse to splitting siblings as I have always believed them to be?
5) I do NOT wish to drag in dirty laundry. Whatever happened with StepMom happened. No one was there other than the kids and her, so I can't say for certain what happened. To me, it's water under the bridge in a sense, and the more pressing issue is that my Ex has abandoned all parental responsibility for 2 years. Am I correct?
6) My worst case scenario is that ex successfully prevents the relocation and the kids mutiny. They have told me in no uncertain terms that they will not live with their StepMother again, and certainly not under the conditions that their Father told them would exist (agreeing never to call CPS again, agreeing that EVERYTHING that happened was a) their fault and b) totally made up).
7) This is not a case of spoiled children being allowed to choose where they live. These are children who were literally dropped off in my driveway at 930 at night, and excommunicated from the family.
Are my odds of a successful move any better than 50/50?
