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  1. #1
    Worried Dad2 is offline Junior Member
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    Parenting Plan Violation worth Contempt filing?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington State, Lincoln County.

    I am divorced since 2002. A few years back my ex wife wanted to put our daughter on ADHD medication, and I vehemently disagreed and told her not to do it because I don't think she has ADHD. Our parenting plan states that non emergency medical decisions be decided by both parents.

    I just found out my ex wife has been giving our daughter the ADHD drug Adderall. I want to know if I have a good shot at filing a contempt of court for violating the parenting plan, or if a judge won't see it as a violation, or if the judge will require that we go through mediation or arbitration and not rule in my favor.
  2. #2
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    What medical evidence is your "belief" that the child does not have ADHD based on?

    How much has her performance in school improved since she started taking the medication?
  3. #3
    Worried Dad2 is offline Junior Member
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    Her performance has increased in school. But my research suggests that ADHD Adderall is a highly addictive narcotic amphetimine, and I don't want her taking it. Also the drug has been pulled in Canada temporarily. It is not an issue of grades for me. It is an issue of future mental health of my child and it is a reasonable concern.
  4. #4
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Your research is crap. Adderall is not addictive and when used in proper therapeutic doseage under medical supervision it can change a person with ADHD's life for the better in immeasureable ways.

    And basically you have NO evidence that she doesn't suffer from this disorder. Do some actual medical research from reputable sources and stop taking your prejudices out on your child. Withholding medication from a child who clearly needs it and is benefiting from it is nothing short of abusive cruelty.
  5. #5
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Worried Dad2 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington State, Lincoln County.

    I am divorced since 2002. A few years back my ex wife wanted to put our daughter on ADHD medication, and I vehemently disagreed and told her not to do it because I don't think she has ADHD. Our parenting plan states that non emergency medical decisions be decided by both parents.

    I just found out my ex wife has been giving our daughter the ADHD drug Adderall. I want to know if I have a good shot at filing a contempt of court for violating the parenting plan, or if a judge won't see it as a violation, or if the judge will require that we go through mediation or arbitration and not rule in my favor.
    If you take it to court, you will likely be sent to mediation. If mediation fails, then the judge will have to make a decision based on the medical and anecdotal evidence.

    So, bottom line its going to end up being based on what the doctors say...and based on your child's school performance.

    I have a niece who is ADHD. My sister and her husband fought the diagnosis for a long time, and after accepting it fought medication (diet instead) for a long time. Eventually however they had to accept it and the meds made a world of difference.

    While mom might be in contempt for not honoring your joint legal custody orders, she may prevail in the end anyway.
  6. #6
    peppier is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    Your research is crap. Adderall is not addictive and when used in proper therapeutic doseage under medical supervision it can change a person with ADHD's life for the better in immeasureable ways.

    And basically you have NO evidence that she doesn't suffer from this disorder. Do some actual medical research from reputable sources and stop taking your prejudices out on your child. Withholding medication from a child who clearly needs it and is benefiting from it is nothing short of abusive cruelty.
    Drugs.com

    Most important fact about Adderall

    Adderall, like all amphetamines, has a high potential for abuse. If used in large doses over long periods of time, it can cause dependence and addiction. In addition, misusing an amphetamine may cause serious heart problems or even sudden death. Be careful to take Adderall only as prescribed by your doctor.


    WebMD
    Misuse or abuse of amphetamine may result in serious (possibly fatal) heart and blood pressure problems. Amphetamine-type medications can be habit-forming. Use only as directed. With prolonged use, drug dependence may occur, and withdrawal symptoms may occur after stopping the drug. Consult your doctor or pharmacist for more details.
  7. #7
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by peppier View Post
    Drugs.com

    Most important fact about Adderall

    Adderall, like all amphetamines, has a high potential for abuse. If used in large doses over long periods of time, it can cause dependence and addiction. In addition, misusing an amphetamine may cause serious heart problems or even sudden death. Be careful to take Adderall only as prescribed by your doctor.


    WebMD
    Misuse or abuse of amphetamine may result in serious (possibly fatal) heart and blood pressure problems. Amphetamine-type medications can be habit-forming. Use only as directed. With prolonged use, drug dependence may occur, and withdrawal symptoms may occur after stopping the drug. Consult your doctor or pharmacist for more details.
    Nothing like context. I've re-bolded to include the actual INTENT of the full warning.

    Also, it's a far cry from "May" and "can" and "if" to IS.

    The FACT is that USED correctly, in PROPER dosages under the SUPERVISION of a doctor, there is little to no concern that ANY of the above would happen.
  8. #8
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    If you are this aginst it why have you not taken her to get a seconed opnion? My ex did this crap to me all of the time but never bothered to get a seconed opnion from his own doctor. If you are that serious about this be proactive go to her doc appts and be an active part of all of this. If you what the right to have a say do the work. This is just my opnion. But I can tell you when my problem went infront of our judge He was very upset that he wanted a majior say but dad had not attended one doctors appt.(he was notified about every one of them) I also send him a letter certified mail and told him I would put off her surgery for 2 weeks to allow him to get his own seconed opnion. Guess what he never did. If you want a say get off your butt and do the work!
  9. #9
    Worried Dad2 is offline Junior Member
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    Get Off My Butt? Really?

    I'm amazed at the assumptions on this board. I guess you get what you pay for. You shouldn't assume that I do nothing to get involved in my child's life. If I was told she was going to doctor's appointments, I would go. So your assumption FAILS. My point on this board was to get some opinions on what steps to take, and if mediation is the best avenue, as one poster pointed out, then I will take that route and get my own doctors opinion. Thanks to those who have been professional on this board. The Senior member (ecmst12) who gave no advice at all, really shouldn't waste his or her time here.
  10. #10
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Uuuh... have you CALLED her doctor and asked when she has an appointment? Have you scheduled a consultation with him/her to discuss the child's diagnosis and recommended treatment? Or are you sitting and waiting for Mom to tell you everything?
  11. #11
    sam02135 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Worried Dad2 View Post
    I'm amazed at the assumptions on this board. I guess you get what you pay for. You shouldn't assume that I do nothing to get involved in my child's life. If I was told she was going to doctor's appointments, I would go. So your assumption FAILS. My point on this board was to get some opinions on what steps to take, and if mediation is the best avenue, as one poster pointed out, then I will take that route and get my own doctors opinion. Thanks to those who have been professional on this board. The Senior member (ecmst12) who gave no advice at all, really shouldn't waste his or her time here.
    WorriedDad. I agree with you 110%.

    Let me make a comment on what your original post ask first:

    ADHD drug, there's a report that these drugs don't do a whole lot, some do, some don't. Do some investigating.
    These drugs are prescribed and your child is a guinea pig for clinical statistics. If I were you, I would question the drugs and look for more tutoring as a different means. As for filing contempt, well, you have to decide.. court hearings here and there... but you should make every effort to determine the well being of your child is.

    Many Assumptions by the board members here: I agree with you %110 !!!!

    There are a lot of assumptions and insinuations on this board. People respond that have "Senior Member" status also think they're fortune-tellers and they don't read fully the facts that were disseminated by the original poster. And they'll call you snotty, arrogant, a troll, one sided, disrespectful of the mothers. Having this data now from my exposure to this board, I believe most of these responders are females who already have prejudice in their vocabulary... bias? Jilted bias females.

    My experience is that what I write, these responders only interpret what they want to interpret, not what you mean of what you wrote on the board. Again my experience is that these responders and senior member status respondents accuse you of many things and they only read tidbits of all your postings. Then they start questioning your facts, calling you a liar. And I, had to explain things all over again... and I have been consistent.

    Here's an example of the lack of intelligence of these senior members that they themselves think they're the galls... and who thinks everyone else is stupid that write on here...:

    A senior member question my qualification in my responses and said that: "... from my postings, you don't even know laws are different for every state...".

    My response back to this idiot is : "... why do you think I pay a different sales tax rate then you probably do...?". Wow .. is it because we live in a different state and we have different laws for ... ahem .... sales tax rate? Go figure senior member. And why does this site ask which state are you from? ... just so people know where the original poster is from so maybe someone from the SAME STATE would know the LAWS OF THAT STATE.

    Some of these Senior Members are so arrogant in their status because they sit here 24/7 posting away, instead of going on the senior casino bus tour that stops at their front door every morning.

    You should stay on this web site, and you'll will also get some great tips and ideas and answers from people that have nothing on their mind but to help you answer your questions.

    Good luck... my nephew apparently have ADHD ... and we're going through the tutor route. No drugs!!!!
    Last edited by sam02135; 03-29-2010 at 11:10 AM.
  12. #12
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Worried Dad2 View Post
    The Senior member (ecmst12) who gave no advice at all, really shouldn't waste his or her time here.
    ecmst12 gave sound advice. You're just too stuck on the whole "I don't care what is said, just what my misguided beliefs are" thing
  13. #13
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Again, OP - what HAVE you done, besides complain to/about Mom?
  14. #14
    sam02135 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Uuuh... have you CALLED her doctor and asked when she has an appointment? Have you scheduled a consultation with him/her to discuss the child's diagnosis and recommended treatment? Or are you sitting and waiting for Mom to tell you everything?
    Uuuuh.... answer the post instead of assuming...
  15. #15
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam02135 View Post
    Uuuuh.... answer the post instead of assuming...
    Hence asking questions, sam-I-am. So far, all I've seen from OP is that he told Mom, he doesn't know when appointments are. So I've asked - HAS he called the doctor and spoken with him/her? HAS he done anything else?

    I'm also curious how it is that several years go by and Dad doesn't know what is going on with his child. When her grades went up - did he inquire how it occurred? If there was any way he could support her ongoing success?

    I have assumed nothing. Yet. I'm still waiting for some of my questions to be answered. So, you can sit down and wait, too. Because you're doing plenty of assuming yourself.

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