Parents REFUSE to let me buy a car...

[Tachyon27]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
Hello all. Forgive me if this is the wrong section, but I have an unusual situation on my hands.
Let me start by saying I am 18. I have been working for over a year and have more than enough money for a used car, insurance, and gas. However, my stubborn, ultra-conservative parents absolutely refuse to let me buy one, on the grounds that THEY didn't have cars until college. I attend a private school 25 miles from my house. Thus, all my friends are 20+ miles away. My girlfriend is another 20 miles away in the opposite direction. Every day after school my dad picks me up and drags me to his office where I sit bored to tears for 2+ hours. Upon having a discussion about purchasing a car with them, I made them promise to make every effort to allow me to drive their cars. They said yes. However, it's like pulling teeth to get either of them. My mom's car is the family vehicle, and they "need" it in case of an "emergency." My dad's car is his "baby" (despite the fact that it has 100,000+) miles on it. This leaves me stuck at home 90% of the time with a horribly inactive social life for someone my age.
Now I'm not trying to throw a pity party, but I have HAD it. I'm thankful that my parents are paying for me to attend a private school, but this is MY money. I'm asking for NO financial contribution from them. I just turned 18, and I am SERIOUSLY considering going out and buying a car without their permission. I can acquire my own private insurance plan, and I am going to talk to my neighbor across the street in hopes that he will let me park it in his driveway, so that it won't be on my parents property. Legally, is there anything they can do to prevent this or take the car away? I never originally considered doing this but it's getting worse and worse every day.
This may sound insignificant but it means a lot to me.

Thanks.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
Hello all. Forgive me if this is the wrong section, but I have an unusual situation on my hands.
Let me start by saying I am 18. I have been working for over a year and have more than enough money for a used car, insurance, and gas. However, my stubborn, ultra-conservative parents absolutely refuse to let me buy one, on the grounds that THEY didn't have cars until college. I attend a private school 25 miles from my house. Thus, all my friends are 20+ miles away. My girlfriend is another 20 miles away in the opposite direction. Every day after school my dad picks me up and drags me to his office where I sit bored to tears for 2+ hours. Upon having a discussion about purchasing a car with them, I made them promise to make every effort to allow me to drive their cars. They said yes. However, it's like pulling teeth to get either of them. My mom's car is the family vehicle, and they "need" it in case of an "emergency." My dad's car is his "baby" (despite the fact that it has 100,000+) miles on it. This leaves me stuck at home 90% of the time with a horribly inactive social life for someone my age.
Now I'm not trying to throw a pity party, but I have HAD it. I'm thankful that my parents are paying for me to attend a private school, but this is MY money. I'm asking for NO financial contribution from them. I just turned 18, and I am SERIOUSLY considering going out and buying a car without their permission. I can acquire my own private insurance plan, and I am going to talk to my neighbor across the street in hopes that he will let me park it in his driveway, so that it won't be on my parents property. Legally, is there anything they can do to prevent this or take the car away? I never originally considered doing this but it's getting worse and worse every day.
This may sound insignificant but it means a lot to me.

Thanks.

I won't tell you to go against your parents wishes. What I will tell you is that the age of majority in your state is 18.

If you go against your parents wishes. Be ready for all the repurcussions that go along with it...and they could be many.

...it means that you are old enough to pay rent too!!!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
Hello all. Forgive me if this is the wrong section, but I have an unusual situation on my hands.
Let me start by saying I am 18. I have been working for over a year and have more than enough money for a used car, insurance, and gas. However, my stubborn, ultra-conservative parents absolutely refuse to let me buy one, on the grounds that THEY didn't have cars until college. I attend a private school 25 miles from my house. Thus, all my friends are 20+ miles away. My girlfriend is another 20 miles away in the opposite direction. Every day after school my dad picks me up and drags me to his office where I sit bored to tears for 2+ hours. Upon having a discussion about purchasing a car with them, I made them promise to make every effort to allow me to drive their cars. They said yes. However, it's like pulling teeth to get either of them. My mom's car is the family vehicle, and they "need" it in case of an "emergency." My dad's car is his "baby" (despite the fact that it has 100,000+) miles on it. This leaves me stuck at home 90% of the time with a horribly inactive social life for someone my age.
Now I'm not trying to throw a pity party, but I have HAD it. I'm thankful that my parents are paying for me to attend a private school, but this is MY money. I'm asking for NO financial contribution from them. I just turned 18, and I am SERIOUSLY considering going out and buying a car without their permission. I can acquire my own private insurance plan, and I am going to talk to my neighbor across the street in hopes that he will let me park it in his driveway, so that it won't be on my parents property. Legally, is there anything they can do to prevent this or take the car away? I never originally considered doing this but it's getting worse and worse every day.
This may sound insignificant but it means a lot to me.

Thanks.

Your parents cannot prevent you buying and/or operating a vehicle provided you are legally allowed to do so.

Period.

(though, as Wireless said, they can make life difficult for you if you don't abide by their rules....)

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Also, remember that legally they are not required to support you at all. They can kick you out of their house if they feel the desire. While I personally think that its silly not to let you have a car I am not your parent and you live in THEIR house so they can set rules that they want.

 

[Mass_Shyster]

I attend a private school 25 miles from my house.

Who is paying for the private school? Will those payments continue after you show up with your car?

 

[Tachyon27]

Who is paying for the private school? Will those payments continue after you show up with your car?

I'm in my senior year, and the last tuition bill was already paid. But there is college to worry about... I know my parents, and they would NOT kick me out of the house.
I'm not sure about this one. I don't want to lose my parents respect but at the same time I feel like they are not respecting me as an adult. I have 4 younger siblings and I don't want them to pull this on them as well.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I'm in my senior year, and the last tuition bill was already paid. But there is college to worry about... I know my parents, and they would NOT kick me out of the house.
I'm not sure about this one. I don't want to lose my parents respect but at the same time I feel like they are not respecting me as an adult. I have 4 younger siblings and I don't want them to pull this on them as well.

Ok this isnt legal advice this is just parental advice. You are living in their house so you respect their rules. If you dont like it move out. And as for your younger siblings well all parents are harder on their first shoot by the time the youngest hits 16 they will probably be buying the darn car as a bday present. Listen you cant choose that you want to be an adult when you want the benefits of being an adult but chose to be a child when you wanna live in mommy and daddys house free and have them pay for your cost of living and have benefits of a child. If you dont like the rules in their house and want to claim adult benefits then move out. If not then respect their rules.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok this isnt legal advice this is just parental advice. You are living in their house so you respect their rules. If you dont like it move out. And as for your younger siblings well all parents are harder on their first shoot by the time the youngest hits 16 they will probably be buying the darn car as a bday present. Listen you cant choose that you want to be an adult when you want the benefits of being an adult but chose to be a child when you wanna live in mommy and daddys house free and have them pay for your cost of living and have benefits of a child. If you dont like the rules in their house and want to claim adult benefits then move out. If not then respect their rules.

I have to kind of disagree with this advice. He is still in high school so its a bit much to suggest that if he doesn't like their rules that he should move out of their house. I sincerely doubt that is what his parents would want him to do either.

I also think that his parents are not being realistic. His IS 18 and if he buys a car with his own money, that's his legal right.

At the same time however, they can make life difficult for him if he goes against their wishes.

I would recommend sitting down with your parents and telling them that you don't wish to disrespect their wishes, but pointing out that you are a legal adult and actually don't need their permission to buy and insure a car. I would also point out that if you were not going to school so far away it would not be such a big deal to you to have available transportation. I would also point out that because you ARE a legal adult that they would have no legal liability.

Again, point out to them that you do not NEED their permission, but you WANT their permission/blessing.

 

[gr8rn]

I agree. As firstborn you kind of pave the way for your younger siblings. Your parents are reluctant to give that control away. It is understandable. Once you have your own car, you are pretty much mobile and less able to control. But you can do something to earn their respect. If you sit down with them and talk to them like an adult before you purchase the car. Have a list of pros and cons and explain to them that having an additional car in the family may be extremely helpful. Think of all the errands you can run for them and make sure you stress that they are still in charge

 

[cyjeff]

Maybe we need to ask the other questions...

You say your parents are ultra conservative... but your dad drives a car with 100K miles on it so he can send you to private school.

We also don't know WHY they are ultra conservative... any reason why they don't want you out of their sight? Like, say, some arrest or other trouble?

 

[TheGeekess]

Maybe we need to ask the other questions...

You say your parents are ultra conservative... but your dad drives a car with 100K miles on it so he can send you to private school.

We also don't know WHY they are ultra conservative... any reason why they don't want you out of their sight? Like, say, some arrest or other trouble?

Why can't he use all that money he's saved to pay for his buddies to carry him where he wants to go?

I didn't have a car of my own until after I graduated HS and started college. I rode the bus to school my senior year; if I had to go to school early for band or theatre, then I might get to borrow Mom's car for the day, if I couldn't catch a ride.

As far as going to work after school with Dad and being "bored to tears"? Perfect time to catch up with homework, isn't it?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I have to kind of disagree with this advice. He is still in high school so its a bit much to suggest that if he doesn't like their rules that he should move out of their house. I sincerely doubt that is what his parents would want him to do either.

I also think that his parents are not being realistic. His IS 18 and if he buys a car with his own money, that's his legal right.

At the same time however, they can make life difficult for him if he goes against their wishes.

I would recommend sitting down with your parents and telling them that you don't wish to disrespect their wishes, but pointing out that you are a legal adult and actually don't need their permission to buy and insure a car. I would also point out that if you were not going to school so far away it would not be such a big deal to you to have available transportation. I would also point out that because you ARE a legal adult that they would have no legal liability.

Again, point out to them that you do not NEED their permission, but you WANT their permission/blessing.

I was not in anyway saying moving out was a good decision obviously. He is not going to move out you can see that by his post. My point was as long as he lives under mommys and daddys roof he should respect their wishes. I also pointed out legally hes an adult he can go buy that car. If he does though he has to deal with mom and dad and the consequences.

Listen, in this day and age 18 is looked at a magical number because legally they are an adult. Congrats. Seriously, What ever happened to respect of the parents rules even if we think their rules are harsh its not our right to question it. I made sure to state it was parental advice not legal. At 18 I lived in my parents house I had to follow their rules because it was their house. I didnt like some of the rules I mean I was 18 and had a curfew the horrors of it all! But I was raised to respect my parents and THEIR house so I followed their rules. When I felt I didnt want to follow the rules any longer I moved out because I was not going to disrespect their rules just because I didnt like them again after all it was THEIR house.

 

[killerzoey]

Hi

I'm not a lawyer but since the advice in the last few posts has been of the parental variety I just wanted to chime in with my two cents' worth.

I was kicked out of my parents' home during my senior year due to failure to abide by their rules. I was not an out of control kid by any means, but this was in the era of Tough Love and they did not like my disregard for curfew. Three strikes, I was out. Can't say I wasn't warned.

Anyway, the issues are different but the sentiment and timing is similar. At age 18 it feels like the "goodies" of being an adult are so far away and we are in a huge hurry to get them. It feels like we deserve them as we see our friends getting these very things. It can be very frustrating.

I could not live by my parents' rules and I chose to suffer the consequences. Those consequences for me seem ridiculously high in retrospect. If I had it to do over again, I would have toed the line better.

After being released from their oppressive dictatorship (sarcasm intentional), I immediately had to start working full time.. I had been a straight-A honor student and suddenly I was working for people who had never even made it through eighth grade. I worked in a blue-collar profession, since that was all I qualified for. I finally finished working my way through college at age (ready for this) 31.

I think your parents are probably too strict on the car thing. But I also can see that you are very bright and articulate and they have probably done an excellent job raising you in so many ways. If you can just hang in there another year you might be really glad you did.

Good luck to you whatever you deicde.

 

[Tachyon27]

I agree. As firstborn you kind of pave the way for your younger siblings. Your parents are reluctant to give that control away. It is understandable. Once you have your own car, you are pretty much mobile and less able to control. But you can do something to earn their respect. If you sit down with them and talk to them like an adult before you purchase the car. Have a list of pros and cons and explain to them that having an additional car in the family may be extremely helpful. Think of all the errands you can run for them and make sure you stress that they are still in charge

I've already done this. As a matter of fact, I prepared and delivered a 41 slide power point presentation to them with all the facts and statistics of why it's blatantly obvious that my purchase of a car would benefit everyone. They were impressed, but it still didn't help much.

As for them being conservative, it's just how they were raised. I am FAR better behaved than 95% of other teenagers out there. I was recently talking to my aunt and she agrees that it's ridiculous and that they are not giving me credit for the responsible person I am.

As for respecting their rules, I always have. I've dealt with not being allowed to watch R rated movies (yes, at 18), dealing with my dad flipping out and turning off the radio every time the word "sex" is mentioned. I dealt with them not giving me "the talk" until 8th grade (it wasn't even a talk, it was a class they sent me to). They've consistently treated me like I'm 3 years younger than I actually am. I realize they're just trying to protect me, but it's not protecting me. It's excluding me and alienating me from the rest of society. Thankfully I'm relatively intelligent and have been able to overcome it, but I'm done now.

Obviously, I love my parents, and I don't want to make them sound THAT bad. For every one thing they did wrong, they did two things right. As you can see I'm one of the few teenagers out there who doesn't type "lyke dis," so I'm certainly thankful for that. I'm just really ready to start being treated like an adult. It's the job of the parents to prepare me for and facilitate a transition into adulthood, and I feel like I'm doing it on my own.

But anyway, this is getting WAY off topic. In terms of legality, I only have one other question. In the event that I cannot get my neighbor to let me use his driveway, would they be able to legally tow the car away if it were to be parked on the street in front of the house?

 

[cyjeff]

I've already done this. As a matter of fact, I prepared and delivered a 41 slide power point presentation to them with all the facts and statistics of why it's blatantly obvious that my purchase of a car would benefit everyone. They were impressed, but it still didn't help much.

Impressive. I am not sure I can come up with 41 slides on why I need a car.

As for them being conservative, it's just how they were raised. I am FAR better behaved than 95% of other teenagers out there. I was recently talking to my aunt and she agrees that it's ridiculous and that they are not giving me credit for the responsible person I am.

And, then you stepped in it.

Do you really think bringing in other people to critique their decision is the right way to go?

As for respecting their rules, I always have. I've dealt with not being allowed to watch R rated movies (yes, at 18), dealing with my dad flipping out and turning off the radio every time the word "sex" is mentioned. I dealt with them not giving me "the talk" until 8th grade (it wasn't even a talk, it was a class they sent me to). They've consistently treated me like I'm 3 years younger than I actually am. I realize they're just trying to protect me, but it's not protecting me. It's excluding me and alienating me from the rest of society. Thankfully I'm relatively intelligent and have been able to overcome it, but I'm done now.

I really cringe when kids say that they know more than their parents... how they KNOW what their parents are doing.

Leave the drama at the door.... you aren't qualified to estimate what their behavior is or is not doing to you....

Obviously, I love my parents, and I don't want to make them sound THAT bad. For every one thing they did wrong, they did two things right. As you can see I'm one of the few teenagers out there who doesn't type "lyke dis," so I'm certainly thankful for that. I'm just really ready to start being treated like an adult. It's the job of the parents to prepare me for and facilitate a transition into adulthood, and I feel like I'm doing it on my own.

But anyway, this is getting WAY off topic. In terms of legality, I only have one other question. In the event that I cannot get my neighbor to let me use his driveway, would they be able to legally tow the car away if it were to be parked on the street in front of the house?

Yup. They don't have to let ANYONE they don't want to park.