paternity establishment case

[afterthought]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

I have a question regarding the paternity of my three year old daughter. It's kind of a long story so I apologize in advance.

When I was pregnant with my daughter the father took off and left state. He wasn't ready to be a father. I had no clue where he or anyone who might know him was. I started dating another man a few months later though not seriously.

So when I had my daughter I was very sick. My grandmother was told that I may not live and that the baby would go to state custody until the father could be located if I were to pass away. So my grandmother went and got the man I was dating and talked him into signing the AOP. I was furious when I found out a week later, but was told I could do nothing, only the father could.

So fast forward to now. I tried to make a relationship work with the man who signed the AOP because he made it clear he expected full rights to my child now. Our relationship did not work out because he sexually abused my oldest daughter, a crime he is incarcerated for at this time. The father of my 3 year old has been back in this state for the past year and has been working to establish a relationship with our child. So now, he has filed a motion to establish paternity. He had to sue both me and the man who signed the AOP. So we have a mediation appointment for August 2nd, and all 3 of our names are listed as persons who must attend. Dad's lawyer sent him a letter stating that the other man, whom will still be incarcerated at the time, will be transported to the court for this mediation. Meaning I have to sit down in the same room and negotiatte with the monster who hurt my child. Is there any way around this? The lawyer told dad that if I refused to attend the case would be thrown out of court. Thanks again!

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

I have a question regarding the paternity of my three year old daughter. It's kind of a long story so I apologize in advance.

When I was pregnant with my daughter the father took off and left state. He wasn't ready to be a father. I had no clue where he or anyone who might know him was. I started dating another man a few months later though not seriously.

So when I had my daughter I was very sick. My grandmother was told that I may not live and that the baby would go to state custody until the father could be located if I were to pass away. So my grandmother went and got the man I was dating and talked him into signing the AOP. I was furious when I found out a week later, but was told I could do nothing, only the father could.

So fast forward to now. I tried to make a relationship work with the man who signed the AOP because he made it clear he expected full rights to my child now. Our relationship did not work out because he sexually abused my oldest daughter, a crime he is incarcerated for at this time. The father of my 3 year old has been back in this state for the past year and has been working to establish a relationship with our child. So now, he has filed a motion to establish paternity. He had to sue both me and the man who signed the AOP. So we have a mediation appointment for August 2nd, and all 3 of our names are listed as persons who must attend. Dad's lawyer sent him a letter stating that the other man, whom will still be incarcerated at the time, will be transported to the court for this mediation. Meaning I have to sit down in the same room and negotiatte with the monster who hurt my child. Is there any way around this? The lawyer told dad that if I refused to attend the case would be thrown out of court. Thanks again!

You are really in a bad situation.
Do you have an attorney?
If you do, ask your attorney if it would be possible for you to be in another room, or possibly appear telephonically.

If you do not have an attorney, contact the mediator's office to see if special arrangements can be made so that you will not have to come face to face with him.

 

[reportermom]

As Gracie stated the mediator's office (or a court clerk) should have an option for you to not have to be in the same room as the abuser. You may be able to be in the same room as Dad.

I was able to file for a "Request for waiver of Generations mediation session because of Domestic violence or Child abuse." Generations is just the name of our mediation program here in PA. That was granted and we went to a mediation where we had separate rooms.

Your state should have a similar provision. Hopefully knowing the terminology will help you get started in the right direction. It may be helpful to go to the court's office. It is much easier to communicate with people in front of you and fill out paper work all at once.