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Paternity question

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M

maxx

Guest
What is the name of your state? California

I apologize in advance for the length...

About 3 years ago I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with a woman I didn't care much for. Although protection was used, it wasn't very reliable (condom broke) and she got pregnant. So, at the time, I accepted responsibility, despite the fact that I was a bit suspicious since I also new she was seeing someone else right before me. About 4 months later, the date of conception was determined and it seemed to be two weeks before we met. So I stopped seeing her thinking it was the other guy (who was married to someone else, so she didn't want to involve him and was in denial). Now I'm thinking there's a 30% chance it's mine.

Here's where it gets complicated. This girl is a British citizen. She was here going to college on a visa and once she had the baby, she dropped out of college & was deported back to England I believe. Anyways, I have moved a few times since and she does not have my address/phone number, but she managed to track down my email address since I have a unique last name. She has told me she doesn't want my money but she keeps telling me she has "proof that it's mine" and she wants me to sign documents that state "in the event of the mother's death, the child's father will refuse custody" or something like that. I've never heard of this type of document.

Now, I should also point out that this girl is also very mentally unstable. She comes from a family with a serious history of mental illness (mainly schizophrenia) and I'm thinking she's bi-polar. Part of me is wondering if she just wants me to sign something that basically confirms I am the child's father (because I have not taken a paternity test). She keeps telling me snide remarks like "you know it's yours" and "I've tracked down your mom's address, but don't worry I still don't want anything from you" etc.

I can't really afford a lawyer to look at any documents she may or may not have. But to make a long story short, can someone tell me my rights in this situation? Anybody familiar with how CA law coincides with British law?

Thanks for help!
 


Grace_Adler

Senior Member
What would you like to see happen?

Until you can prove your the father by a paternity test, I don't think you have any rights. If the child is yours, you have the right to file for custody, child support and visitation.

I don't know how the laws work there but if she comes after you for child support, I would deny paternity so you can get a test done. Then you can take it from there.

In the meantime, I think you better consult an attorney.
 
M

maxx

Guest
Basically,

I just want to keep this woman out of my life. Even if the child turned out to be mine, it's not like I can be a part of its life.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
You can't afford NOT to have an attorney sign read anything you may sign. Until you have one, do NOT sign anything. And do not "agree" that this child is yours until a paternity test tells you this is so.

She is unlikely to have any "proof" it's your child, unless she collects DNA samples for future use from all her lovers, just "in case".
 
Last edited:
L

Lil Miss Smarty Panties

Guest
nextwife said:

She is unlikely to have any "proof" it's your child, unless she collects DNA samples for future use from all her lovers, just "in case".
That's exactly what I was thinking when I read this thread! I imagined her drawing blood while he slept. :p

And I agree wholeheartedly with nextwife. Don't sign anything and don't agree or assume this is your baby until you have a positive DNA test.
 

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