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  1. #1
    xesbrick Guest

    Paternity Tests and Lawyers

    What is the name of your state? TN/MS/GA

    I had a one night stand and a couple weeks later the girl showed up at my door saying she was pregnant. We took the home pregnancy test twice and it was positive. When I met her I was in the process of moving states away. I've only seen her twic in my life. She is due in August.

    Thus, my question is do I need a lawyer in order to have the DNA paternity test done? Do I have to be with the child to have it done? (I do not live close to her at all anymore). I do know a swap sample is taken from the inside of my mouth and the childs.


    Thanks All!
  2. #2
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    It would be in your best interest to have one done. As well as the child's. If you can afford to have it done. The thing is, it's going to have to be sent to the same lab.

    If the process takes a while and meanwhile you get served for child support, you should deny paternity. Then, CSE (Child Support Enforcement) will ask you to take a paternity test. If the child is yours, you will be ordered to pay for the test along with child support. If the child isn't, then you don't have to pay for it. You better save your money too because if the child is yours, and they make the order retroactive to the date of filing, you will start out in arrears.

    Now, if the child is proven to be yours, you also have the right to file for custody, support and visitation.

    I would suggest going ahead and taking the test ASAP. Then you won't have any little surprises and you can go ahead and start being a part of the child's life, if that is what you want.

    You will probably have to consult a lawyer on how to go about getting a test done.
  3. #3
    xesbrick Guest

    my 2nd post

    Thanks Grace. To my knowledge we are supposed to work this out. I'm trying to keep it out of the courts (who knows she could be up to something though). Thus, I shouldn't have to worry about the CS and all. I have told her I'm going to pay for the paternity test. I am getting it ASAP once the child is born. I just was wanting to know if a lawyer was needed. I know it would save some money if I didn't get one.
  4. #4
    Grace_Adler is offline Senior Member
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    I don't think you have to have a lawyer but it would probably make things easier. If you are both in agreement, then it should be ok. The only thing I would worry about is making sure you use a lab where their test results can be used in court if necessary. If you have a LabCorp in your area, I think that their results can be used in court. That's one reason you may want to consult an attorney, to at least find the best way to approach this and what labs you can use that the court will recognize, even if you don't hire them.

    I wanted to edit to add that I know here, you don't have to use an attorney if both parties are in agreement, but since she is obviously the legal parent to the baby, and you haven't been established as a parent yet, then the lab needs her permission to run the test on the child. But since she is willing, that shouldn't be a problem. Like I said, it's important to use one that will be recognized by the court.

    Always CYA.
    Last edited by Grace_Adler; 06-17-2003 at 10:43 PM.
  5. #5
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
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    Another thing you want to keep in mind is you really don't know this woman. You've said you've only seen her twice. Watch your back and make sure you cover your own A**. You made it sound as if she says she doesn't want support. That may be what she says now but don't hold her to it. If a paternity test comes out and is proven that the child is yours regardless what she wants depending on the situation the state can order you to pay support and as Grace said it can be retroactive depending on the circumstances. You're free and clear if it turns out that it's not yours but then again think what the woman has put you through so she couldn't be that honest. Have you asked her if there is any possible way it could be someone elses? Not that I would take what she says to heart.. but as I said... cover yourself in this before you're the one who gets screwed again (sorry for the pun)
  6. #6
    VeronicaGia is offline Senior Member
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    Keep one more thing in mind: If she decides to collect welfare including hospital expenses on the taxpayer's dime, the state will come after you to reimburse them plus pay support to her.

    Find an attorney, file for a court ordered DNA test immediately, or you could face thousands of dollars of arrears. Believe me, an attorney and a court ordered DNA tests are chump change compared to years worth of support.
  7. #7
    xesbrick Guest

    Thanks Again

    All,

    Thanks for the advice. Yeah, right now she says the child is under the state's insurance. That worries me that they may go after me for reimbursement for these expensed. Does she have to initiate that process if it happens? She says once the child is born she will go back under her parents insurance and the child can stay under the state's insurance. I told her once the child is born and the DNA test has proven that I'm the father we'll work on that. I can most likely cover the child on my insurance. I have told her once the child is born and it's proven mine that I will help her as much as I can. She has stated many times that she is not after money. She just wants the child to know who it's dad is. Who knows what she is thinking. She has also stated to me many times that there is no way possible that the child could be anyone's but mine. She is alright with doing the DNA test.

    As far as going about getting the DNA test done I will go about doing it on my own (with or without a lawyer) but keep it out of the courts. If I had to pay CS I don't know what I'd do. I'm scraping by now. I don't see how some people can pay 20-35% of their salary to CS and still live. Oh well, that's another story. I will make sure the DNA test I take is admissable in court just in case I do have to go to court over this.
  8. #8
    chitown312 Guest
    The problem is that if the state pays for anything--medical care, etc, they will find you to pay them back. It may take awhile, but they will make you pay. If she's recieving any state assistance for the child, the state will require her to name possible fathers.

    In most states, when the baby is born, you'll have to sign something called an affadavit of paternity to get your name on the birth certificate. Do not sign that paper until you have the DNA results in hand. If she's in agreement, she can take the baby down to the lab wherever she is and you can go to wherever you are--you can order these tests over the web. Then, wait for the results to come back. If you do this ASAP it's faster than going to court. If the test says the child is yours, then the two of you can file a voluntary affadavit establishing paternity.

    Then you need to set up some kind of support arrangement and file it with the court--don't trust that it will all be ok. The law is extremely mother-sided.

    My bf is in the middle of this process--he had to remove his name from the birth certificate and sue the child's mother in order to get the court to order a paternity test (the child's mother would not allow one). He's been carrying the child on his health insurance and paying all the copays for 7 months even though the child's mother is not speaking to him and he isn't allowed to see the child because he'll be so financially screwed. He filed his paternity action in April. His first court date is in August. He doesn't know how he's going to afford it either, nor if the state collects from him on the mothers' delivery expenses. It sucks. Pray the kid isn't yours.
  9. #9
    xesbrick Guest

    Thanks Chitown

    Thanks Chitown!

    Thanks for the great advice. Looks like I'm *ucked! Is there anyway her and I can work this out without involving the state and the courts? I have heard from numerous girls who have been in the same situation and her and the father did not go to court and they have worked things out on their own. Maybe their child was not on state insurance. Man,this sucks! I've been depressed ever since this happened and I'm sure it's going to get worse. Any guys out here who have gone through this? It's amazing how one bad mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life mentally and most importantly financially. She acts as if she knows nothing about the state going after me. I wonder if she even knows? She is young and naive. Anyone know of a way out of this? How can I get her to work this out and keep the state out of it? Only thing I can think of is she doesn't mention me to the state.
  10. #10
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm assuming "state insurance" is refering to medicaid and everything thing you have been told is correct. If she's receiving that the state can and usually will go after the father for repayment no matter if she says she wants it or not... it's no longer in her hands. You need to know ASAP if this child is yours and the two of you go to court and set up a support/custody/visitation agreement. The last one is a choice I hope you decide to pursue but not required. However the first two will have to be established. I'm assuming you will not try for custody but to save yourself a lot of termoil later support has to be established. If she EVER files for any other kind of state aid including TANF, food stamps or whatever the state can come looking for you for repayment.
  11. #11
    xesbrick Guest
    Assuming it is determined the child is mine**************

    I think I'll go ahead and get a paternity test done that is admissable in court but not court ordered. That way if I am ordered by the court to determine paternity I've already got that out of the way. If the child isn't mine I'll be out of $500 or so but I'll take that anyday.

    Now, I've read posts on here where NCP's are paying $200 or so in CS. How is this possible? Granted my child would be born in Georgia (I live in another state) where it is known they are one of the toughest states on NCP, but I just don't see $200 working anywhere. Georgia makes the NCP pay 17-23% of their GROSS INCOME. If you look at this amount compared to the NCP's take home pay it usually equates to about 33% of the NCP's take home pay. A lawyer has verified this for me. Holy Cow! With a $50K salary and paying 20% I'd be paying her $700 or so. I'm doomed. I asked a lawyer if we could work something out on our own and take it to court and he said yes. I mentioned I'd pay her $200-$300 a month. He said there is no way a judge would approve an agreement like that. I just don't see that being fair to Georgians if others in other states are paying so much less. Oh well, water under the bridge I guess. I can't do anything about it. It just sucks that everything I had worked for in life will be 1/3 gone for the next 18 years because of a one night stand with a girl I've seen twice in my life. I do realize there is a child here involved but I just wish the state and courts could stay out of matters like this and make people solve their own problems. If the mother has decided to go ahead with the pregnancy then she should accept the consequences of her decisions. I think this would curtail many unwanted pregnancies.
  12. #12
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
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    And maybe this way will remind you to use protection next time you have sex and you don't want to have a child. I see your point, really I do but what's done is done. You are just as much to blame as she is for the pregnancy... don't blame her now because she wants to keep the child.
  13. #13
    xesbrick Guest
    Is Georgia the toughest state in regards to the CS assigned to the NCP? I've seen many comments on here about how unreasonable it is. It is also amazing that the state goes after the NCP for hospital expenses and any other aid and the CP does not pay for anything. Shouldn't the CP be expected to be liable for such expenses too. The soon to be CP has told me her mother will not be working and will be staying at home to help out and such for the child. The girl will obviously be at home. Thus, I wouldn't think their expenses would really go up too much from what they were before. Does any of this stuff get considered in court? Does the court consider the fact I could have ran from the beginning but I have not? I have kept in touch with her through all of this and have talked about how I'm going to help her. I am the one who has offered to get the DNA test done and work things out. Around the time of the birth I will be placed anywhere across the country for my job. I could end up in say California and not be able to see the child. Is this considered?

    Reading all these questions online is really depressing. It's amazing how bitter this stuff gets. Why can't people use common sense and learn to work things out? Wow, I have lost faith in the deceny and goodness of human beings after reading this stuff.
  14. #14
    chitown312 Guest
    Yep, you're screwed, and it happens all the time.

    The state has a vested interest in having someone, anyone, BUT the taxpayer pay to support the child. In terms of setting the award, it doesn't matter what the mother's expenses are--when my bf's ex was still getting child support she was telling him to make the check out to Pontiac (her car payment). She had no housing or child-related expenses, and $750 a month still wasn't enough.

    The reason that a lot of people seem not to have involved the courts is that they may have not used state aid for the medical costs, or that the state hasn't gotten around to going after them--it can take up to two years for them to do it on their own, less if she wants cash or applies for welfare--then the Dept of Public Aid is in a hurry.

    I caution you about doing anything not run through the courts when you don't really know this girl--she could decide two days before the child turns 18 that she's never been paid, and the she'll get 18 years of back support plus penalties. Even if you've been paying for 18 years, if it isn't pursuant to a court order a judge will say it's been a gift, and pay again

    I'm sorry my bitterness is showing through. In Illinois it's 20% of net for one child, plus daycare sometimes. Try to get support established in whatever state is the most forgiving. I also encourage you to have a relationship with the child, if this is your child.

    Good luck, and pray the kid isn't yours. And start saving.
  15. #15
    VeronicaGia is offline Senior Member
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    Originally posted by xesbrick
    Is Georgia the toughest state in regards to the CS assigned to the NCP? I've seen many comments on here about how unreasonable it is.

    **GA is one of the few states that uses the NCP's income only, meaning you. They do not take the CP's income into consideration when figuring support, so in that regard, it stinks.


    It is also amazing that the state goes after the NCP for hospital expenses and any other aid and the CP does not pay for anything. Shouldn't the CP be expected to be liable for such expenses too.

    **Should? Yes! Will they? No. They will hold you responsible solely. If she collects TANF she will have to sign her support rights over to the state, meaning she will have to name a father. Once she does that, they will come after you, and the sooner you are found the better or you could wind up with years worth of arrears. That's when you should demand a court ordered DNA test to prove the child is yours. Then you will pay support to the state, the state will pay her. Realize that state's collect seven cents on every dollar of support, and they collect it as an incentive from the federal government. The more the arrears, the more the states reap money. You will realize soon, if you haven't already, it's all about the money.


    The soon to be CP has told me her mother will not be working and will be staying at home to help out and such for the child. The girl will obviously be at home. Thus, I wouldn't think their expenses would really go up too much from what they were before. Does any of this stuff get considered in court?

    **Nope. Since GA considers the NCP's income only, it doesn't matter.

    Does the court consider the fact I could have ran from the beginning but I have not?

    **Nope. It's your responsibility in their eyes not to run, there are no rewards from the court for doing the right thing.

    I have kept in touch with her through all of this and have talked about how I'm going to help her. I am the one who has offered to get the DNA test done and work things out. Around the time of the birth I will be placed anywhere across the country for my job. I could end up in say California and not be able to see the child. Is this considered?

    **It may be considered when and if it happens.


    Reading all these questions online is really depressing. It's amazing how bitter this stuff gets. Why can't people use common sense and learn to work things out? Wow, I have lost faith in the deceny and goodness of human beings after reading this stuff.
    **Believe me, so do I sometimes. But I keep on keepin on.

    An excellent website for men: [url]www.deltabravo.net[/url]

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