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phone calls

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karma1

Senior Member
My husband and his ex had phone visitation set up for every Sunday at 7:30, beginning three weeks ago (the kids live in another state). Every week since this has been set up, there has been problems. The first week, son calls earlier and leaves a message that he may not be home at call time-no explanation, but he ended up walking in the door just at the time of the call. The second week, their mother calls and says the kids will be out of town at call time-so, my husband tells her he will call the following night and does get to talk to both children.
Last week, my husband calls and is told daughter is not there-no explanation, but he does talk to son.
This phone visitation was set up by mediator, husband and ex-but nothing is in writing yet-court date is coming soon so it will be in writing then.
My question is, just how enforcable is this phone visitation? We are sure the ex is behind all problems, even though they are really not that serious-in regards to phone calls-and we are sure she listens in. I am sure the mediator may have written this agreement down somewhere-should we contact mediator and let her know about constant problems with phone visitation?
Also, this is a little long but just found out some information about ex and her putting daughter in middle of something-
Ex calls last Jan. and tell us daughter is failing science (7th grade)-asks us to help with tutor. Ex sounds desperate and claims the school never told her daughter was failing (I found that hard to believe as I am a teacher)-we ended up sending her a 60$ money order to pay for one weeks of tutoring-amazingly enough-daughter tells us she's making A's about 2 weeks later. I felt this was all a scam on the ex's part-she even gave us a direct phone number of the tutor, but I feel this was probably a friend of hers. The thing is, the principal sent us report cards-daughter made a C last semester and a B-, this past semester!
Would this be something worth bringing to court when we go at end of month for custody/visitation change? The reason why the ex would do this is complicated, but my problem with all of this is that she put her daughter up to lying, once again.
My husband also has an agreement to take both kids to Disneyland if they make good grades this year-meaning A's and B's-daughter tells my husband she is getting A's and B's-we get report card and she only has one A, couple B's, C and failing Lit-although this is between father and daughter, I feel her lying is a direct result of being raised by a lyer-is this little thing worth mentioning in court, too? If we get the kids this summer, as far as I'm concerned, daughter does not get to go to Disneyland for failing and lying.
Thanks for any ideas.
 


freeride

Member
just how enforcable is this phone visitation?

indiana,my ex[ncp]moved out of state,he was granted this statement{IS"ALLOWED"to call child every saturday at 6 pm}
this has not worked for us,i have answeres for every saturday[when he did call] or didnt call,the child isnt here or asleep,child 2yrs old,just now 3.so some advice please for when he yells [contempt] cause of not talking to this young child on the phone??[every] sat.come on??





[Edited by freeride on 06-08-2001 at 12:59 AM]
 

Ambr

Senior Member
double check the wording and make sure that nothing is listed that could make you in contempt of the order if the children are not there.

if you know that a sport event is coming up or something from school, etc is going to keep the child away during the time of the call. be sure to let him know. have the child call early or the day before and let dad know that they will be away. he is getting his visiation call and you are in the clear with contempt charges.

there isn't alot that you can do. most orders will state that the CP is not allowed to listen in or to interfer with the phone visitation. it may come down to the child telling dad that they are busy and have to go. (as the child gets older)

6:00 is kind of early for a bedtime, you might have a hard time pushing that by a judge.
 

freeride

Member
all my paper says is the ncp [IS ALLOWED]TO call every sunday @6pm.
i have caller id,and he has not called in 4 weeks,then he calls the 5th sunday,we were not home and now the ncp is upset,[i dont know why]..The child is 3 years old and is very busy visiting 4 granma's in childs state on the wk.ends.EVERY SUNDAY FOR LIFE??
 

Ambr

Senior Member
not for life - just until the child turns 18 and the order ceases or until it is modified.

it is hard because he isn't exercising that phone visitation regularly. if he did it would be harder on you to change.

if he wants to enforce this or if you want to modify it - you need proof that he is not using it. possibly phone records, etc. you need to prove that since he is not exercising the visitation the it does limit you on what you can do with your children. you are not able to schedule weekend plans because you have to be home in case he calls - which he rarely does. things of this nature. push that he needs to be more dependable in his calls - stable for the kids. that it isn't good that the kids gets excited that dad is suppose to call and he doesn't do it.

you mention the busy schedule - have you tried to contact him and let him know that you are going to be at grandma's house if he wants to call. or just making the call before hand and letting him talk then if you are not going to be around during the "assigned time".

 

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