Physical custody vs Shared Physical Custody

[imschertz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
PA - I am in the process of going through a divorse. We have a 5 year old daughter together who lives with her mom. My wife wanted to end of the marriage because she was no longer happy with our marriage. I left the house so she can stay there with our daughter and my step son. I now live close by. We are doing the paperwork our selves since we are civil with each other and have been able to work everything out regarding the divorse. In the paperwork we also have everything documented regarding our daughter. We have split legal custody but her mom wants sole physical custody since she lives with her and will be claiming her at tax time. I am fine with that. We have it documented when I will see her each week and for holidays. Again I am fine with that. At first I was bothered because she wants it listed that she has sole pnysical custody and when I asked to have it listed that we would have it as shared custody, she said no. I asked her why ad she said its because she lives with her most of the time. I was thinking about hiring attorney to go to court to fight to see if I could get shared physical custody but I asm now thinking I may not since I do not have a problem with my daughter living with her or any of the scheduled times that we have set when she would come with me and I would like to keep everything civil and peaceful between her mom and I. Her mom wants me to see my daughter as much as I can so she is willing to give even more than what is documented as we have been doing. My only concern is if her mom has sole physical custody, can she just decide to move to where she wants with my daughter without any say from me, even if the courts have documentation of my scheduled visitation times?

Can she do that or does she have to stay in the local area so I can have my scheduled visitation times? Any advice? Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
PA - I am in the process of going through a divorse. We have a 5 year old daughter together who lives with her mom. My wife wanted to end of the marriage because she was no longer happy with our marriage. I left the house so she can stay there with our daughter and my step son. I now live close by. We are doing the paperwork our selves since we are civil with each other and have been able to work everything out regarding the divorse. In the paperwork we also have everything documented regarding our daughter. We have split legal custody but her mom wants sole physical custody since she lives with her and will be claiming her at tax time. I am fine with that. We have it documented when I will see her each week and for holidays. Again I am fine with that. At first I was bothered because she wants it listed that she has sole pnysical custody and when I asked to have it listed that we would have it as shared custody, she said no. I asked her why ad she said its because she lives with her most of the time. I was thinking about hiring attorney to go to court to fight to see if I could get shared physical custody but I asm now thinking I may not since I do not have a problem with my daughter living with her or any of the scheduled times that we have set when she would come with me and I would like to keep everything civil and peaceful between her mom and I. Her mom wants me to see my daughter as much as I can so she is willing to give even more than what is documented as we have been doing. My only concern is if her mom has sole physical custody, can she just decide to move to where she wants with my daughter without any say from me, even if the courts have documentation of my scheduled visitation times?

Can she do that or does she have to stay in the local area so I can have my scheduled visitation times? Any advice? Thanks

No, having sole physical custody would NOT give her the ability to relocate out of the area with the child if you did not agree.

Joint legal custody is really the most important thing, because that gives you joint decision making regarding the child.

Timeshare is also important and if you have the timeshare you want plus joint legal custody, you are really in pretty good shape.

 

[imschertz]

Thank you so much for your quick response. That makes me feel a lot better.
What is the difference between "primary physical custody and sole physical custody"? I read that if the one parent has "primary physical custody" it gives the other parent more rights than just "visitational rights" that you would normally would have with" sole physical custody". Do you know anything regarding that? Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you so much for your quick response. That makes me feel a lot better.
What is the difference between "primary physical custody and sole physical custody"? I read that if the one parent has "primary physical custody" it gives the other parent more rights than just "visitational rights" that you would normally would have with" sole physical custody". Do you know anything regarding that? Thanks

Ok, this is more a personal opinion than a legal one. In my opinion, its mostly semantics. The important thing is the joint legal custody and a timeshare that you are happy with.

If parents share or have joint physical custody, it means that the child has more than one legal address, and the child is considering to be living with both parents.

That means, for example, if you have to go on a business trip during your normal parenting time, that you have to be responsible for the children (ie find and pay for a babysitter) if mom cannot take them for you. If mom has sole physical custody, then you are not required to exercise your parenting time and if you chose not to, for whatever reason, you are not responsible to find and pay for babysitters.

I cannot think of a single "right" that you would not have with joint legal custody and a timeshare that you are happy with. I cannot think of a single right that you would lose if mom had sole physical custody. Someone else may be able to think of one, but I cannot.

I think that joint physical custody vs sole physical custody is more of an ego issue if everybody is happy with the timeshare and if joint legal custody is in place.

 

[imschertz]

Great! Thanks! That makes me feel much better. Does PA have any restrictions on how far the parent with sole physical custody can move away from the other parent? Are they required to stay in the county where both parents live in? If she does decide to move with out my consent, what would I do to try to stop her from moving far away? Sorry for so many questions, but I just want to be prepared and full aware of everything just in case this happends. Thanks, Jeff

 

[LdiJ]

Great! Thanks! That makes me feel much better. Does PA have any restrictions on how far the parent with sole physical custody can move away from the other parent? Are they required to stay in the county where both parents live in? If she does decide to move with out my consent, what would I do to try to stop her from moving far away? Sorry for so many questions, but I just want to be prepared and full aware of everything just in case this happends. Thanks, Jeff

I am not sure what the details are of the relocation laws for PA. Do some google searching for details on that. Generally if a parent wants to relocate and take the children with them, there is a time period of notification that they must give, which gives the other parent the opportunity to object legally to the child being relocated, and to argue their case for the child remaining in the home community.

If the parent doesn't give that notice, the other parent has the option of rushing to court for emergency orders to force the return of the children to the original home community.

Generally, if a move doesn't impact the other parent's parenting time, it shouldn't be objected to in court. That would tend to annoy a judge.

 

[imschertz]

Ok. Thanks again for everything! Have a great day! Jeff

 

[karma_2010]

Paying child support

I am going through a divorce and the mother of our 3 year old daughter is not a nice person. We have be seperated since June and I have seen my daughter 3 times. She will not let me see my daughter. I am going through this divorce thing on my own and I was wondering what is better physical or joint custody. I know the type of person this woman is and would reather spend the money I do give her on herself rather than my daughter. Not to mention that she is pregnant with possibly another mans baby and smoked weed and admitted it. Will this help in my case?

 

[TheGeekess]

Please start your own thread.

 

[gr8rn]

Great! Thanks! That makes me feel much better. Does PA have any restrictions on how far the parent with sole physical custody can move away from the other parent? Are they required to stay in the county where both parents live in? If she does decide to move with out my consent, what would I do to try to stop her from moving far away? Sorry for so many questions, but I just want to be prepared and full aware of everything just in case this happends. Thanks, Jeff

I'm in PA also and in my county the agreement reads that neither of us can move out of the county. I am not sure that it is worded that way state-wide. I think that her arguing about the wording doesn't change anything. If you and her don't use an attorney, I would at least ask one to look over the final paperwork before it is filed. In PA the wording is primary physical custody for the custodial parent, and the important thing, as someone else said, is that you both have shared legal custody. It is assurance for you that you get a say in making those important decisions regarding your child.

 

[mistoffolees]

In PA the wording is primary physical custody for the custodial parent,

That's the important thing. Make sure you're using the terminology that's in the state laws (look them up). If you do that, the court will know exactly what you're talking about and there will be adequate case law to settle any disputes. If you start making up your own terms, if there is a dispute, the judge will be sitting there not knowing WHAT you agreed to.

and the important thing, as someone else said, is that you both have shared legal custody.

I have a slightly different view. Joint legal custody is the minimum I'd accept, but other than the ability to MAYBE keep Mom from moving out of state, it isn't really worth all that much. Even moving out of state is questionable - if Mom has primary physical and loses her job but a great job opens up elsewhere, she may be allowed to move - even with joint legal.

The rest of the things joint legal rights confer can easily be overridden by the CP. Joint parents have the right to decide what doctor the child chooses, for example - or what school the child attends. But, in practice, if the two can't agree, CP is going to get his/her way more often than not.

I would say that joint legal is solely the foundation that needs to be there, but just like a house, the foundation doesn't get you much unless there's something else on top of it. Make sure that the other rights are spelled out. Visitation clearly needs to be in the agreement, including discussion of holidays, etc. Right of First Refusal if the parties want it. Mention of how school, doctors, etc should be decided. Child support issues (does it end at 18/19 as allowed by state law or will support continue if the child is in college). And all the other issues. It makes for a long agreement, but in the end, a long, specific agreement is better than a short vague one (within reasonable limits).

My advice is therefore that it should be joint legal with CP having primary physical, but that's not enough. Spell out the rest - or you're likely to be back in court in 5 years fighting over all the vague stuff.