Pick up and Drop off

[sadie0074]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jeresy

Hi. My husband and I have had a visitation schedule in place for three months now. He picks up our daughter on Sat. mornings and drops her off on Sunday evenings, every other weekend. We have an appointment in Atlantic County on Monday to discuss visitation. I am now living in Bergen County. And he is living in Ocean County. I asked him to send me what he has in mind, figuring we already have something in place. and he hits me with he wants me to drive her half way to drop her off and pick her up.

Is this allowed in the state of New Jersey? I feel it isn't right to drop her off on the Garden State Parkway. He has had no problems picking her up for one night and staying at his families in the same county for the last 3 months. I think he is trying to make my life hell. I'm wondering how the Judge will view this arrangement. It is only for one night.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jeresy

Hi. My husband and I have had a visitation schedule in place for three months now. He picks up our daughter on Sat. mornings and drops her off on Sunday evenings, every other weekend. We have an appointment in Atlantic County on Monday to discuss visitation. I am now living in Bergen County. And he is living in Ocean County. I asked him to send me what he has in mind, figuring we already have something in place. and he hits me with he wants me to drive her half way to drop her off and pick her up.

Is this allowed in the state of New Jersey? I feel it isn't right to drop her off on the Garden State Parkway. He has had no problems picking her up for one night and staying at his families in the same county for the last 3 months. I think he is trying to make my life hell. I'm wondering how the Judge will view this arrangement. It is only for one night.

Why don't you drive your child there and he drop her off? And as a long term solution, expecting the father to not be able to have his child in his home overnight is totally unreasonable.

 

[sipa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jeresy

Hi. My husband and I have had a visitation schedule in place for three months now. He picks up our daughter on Sat. mornings and drops her off on Sunday evenings, every other weekend. We have an appointment in Atlantic County on Monday to discuss visitation. I am now living in Bergen County. And he is living in Ocean County. I asked him to send me what he has in mind, figuring we already have something in place. and he hits me with he wants me to drive her half way to drop her off and pick her up.

Is this allowed in the state of New Jersey? I feel it isn't right to drop her off on the Garden State Parkway. He has had no problems picking her up for one night and staying at his families in the same county for the last 3 months. I think he is trying to make my life hell. I'm wondering how the Judge will view this arrangement. It is only for one night.

I don't think you would just be "dropping her off on the Garden State Parkway" there are courtesy centers all over that parkway.

Not to mention it is unreasonable for your ex to have to stay with family to visit with your child. There has to be some sort of life style and privacy for the two of them that begins to emerge, he may feel its time to settle into a regular father/daughter time and begin to move forward.

It's fair. It may not be "practical" for you but it's fair for both him and your child.

I find the judges in my county are willing to "listen and entertain" reasonable agruements this sounds reasonable.

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jeresy

Hi. My husband and I have had a visitation schedule in place for three months now. He picks up our daughter on Sat. mornings and drops her off on Sunday evenings, every other weekend. We have an appointment in Atlantic County on Monday to discuss visitation. I am now living in Bergen County. And he is living in Ocean County. I asked him to send me what he has in mind, figuring we already have something in place. and he hits me with he wants me to drive her half way to drop her off and pick her up.

Is this allowed in the state of New Jersey? I feel it isn't right to drop her off on the Garden State Parkway. He has had no problems picking her up for one night and staying at his families in the same county for the last 3 months. I think he is trying to make my life hell. I'm wondering how the Judge will view this arrangement. It is only for one night.

I am in NJ too, and typically when it is time to return the child to the CP (or to additional primary parent if it is shared) that parents PICKS UP the child. You have gotten away with limo service for a while - it's time you stepped up to the plate as well.

 

[nextwife]

It's your current arrangement that is unreasonable. Totally. Dad and his child have every right to their own time together, on a regular basis, in his household. And yes, you should be sharing in the transporting. Expecting him to hang with family (and impose on THEIR lives and schedules) in order to have his visitation time with HIS child is TOTALLY UNREASONABLE.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why are there THREE counties involved? Was there a court case open already somewhere/ Who moved from Atlantic County? When? Why?

 

[truebluemd]

Its not unusual for courts to stick with the status quo, but your situation will depend on who moved and when. Were you both living in Atlantic County when the order was issued? Who moved after that and when. How long has dad been coming to your residence to pick up the child?

 

[truebluemd]

I really wouldn't think the judge would find it okay for dad to have to stay at relatives houses though for his visitation.

I am thinking dad would go to friday thru sunday for visitation every other weekend. For some reason their doing Sat-sun. Give dad more time and he might be more willing to make the full drive too. I wouldn't want to drive two days in a row, impose on my family and bend to the wishes of my ex to see my child. I would do it if I had too (thank goodness I dont have a child with an ex!) but it would be so unfair and I'd be headed to court to get it changed immediately!

However if she moved I think she's needs a reality check.

All of the is understood, I am just asking OP questions and making her aware of some things. Also we really don't know what a judge would do. I thought I would end up having to drive halfway, not so, because he went with the status quo.

 

[MichaCA]

I would totally go with the receiving parent picks the child up. That way, there are are far less chances of tardiness, or issues with not returning the child, etc. We do that and it works great.

Its also a good way for you to get a glimpse of your childs 'other life' when you pick her up.

 

[stealth2]

LOL I grew up in Bergen, now live in Ocean. Atlantic is *slightly* closer to Ocean than Ocean is to Bergen (30 minute difference, maybe?). It's a 1 1/2 hour shot (roughly) from Ocean to Bergen. And vice-versa (imagine that!).

There are rest areas all along the GSP - and the majority of them are really quite decent. It's not quite dropping the kid off at the side of the road. Realistically, though, it makes the most sense for each of you to take half the transport - each of you pick up.

It's not at all unreasonable for Dad to want to spend time with the child you share in HIS home, as well. If you think it is? Then you're the one being unreasonable.

(and frankly? If you can afford to live in Bergen County (for those who don't know, it is the area right across the river from NYC and is VERY expensive - the main reason I moved from there. Apart from the over-crowding), you can certainly afford to drive down to Ocean twice a month. Think of it as going down the shore, eh?

 

[Ohiogal]

WHY ARE THERE THREE COUNTIES INVOLVED????????????????/


Now I am shouting.

 

[LdiJ]

WHY ARE THERE THREE COUNTIES INVOLVED????????????????/


Now I am shouting.

I don't think that there are. I think that the parents were just meeting in the third county to talk things over. I could be wrong, but that was my interpretation of her initial post.

 

[stealth2]

Atlantic Cty is not between them. I'd bet that's where the divorce was filed, etc.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't think that there are. I think that the parents were just meeting in the third county to talk things over. I could be wrong, but that was my interpretation of her initial post.

One person is in Ocean. One is in Bergen. And an appointment of some sort is in Atlantic:

We have an appointment in Atlantic County on Monday to discuss visitation. I am now living in Bergen County. And he is living in Ocean County.

I do not know if that is court, a mediator or they are meeting for coffee with donuts to have a convo. It would be helpful if OP would clarify. And then if court is in Atlantic, who filed and moved from Atlantic. Where did the other person live when it was filed in Atlantic? Who created the larger distance? Where is Atlantic compared to the other two counties?