Please HELP! Exwife is making false accusations!!!

[melissa841979]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)Rhode Island

My fiancé’s ex wife divorced HIM, they have been divorced since 2007. I began dating my fiance in November 2008.
Our dilemma right now is that we haven't seen my husbands son since January because he asked to have his son on Christmas Eve and the ex said fine.... then 4 days before Christmas Eve she said no and he could do nothing about it (they do not have set holiday visitation written specifically in the divorce decree which was SO stupid for him not to arrange when they got the divorce) she then told everyone that he didn't WANT to see his son and that she gave him other options for Christmas and he refused. As God as my witness, that DID NOT happen!! Then to add to the mess his the ex decided to withhold visitation from him indefinitely until she got our address which up until then she had never asked for before because my fiancé picks up and drops off his son for his weekly visits so the the ex had no need to know it. After all this happened in the span of 2 weeks my fiancé went and filed a motion to get their divorce decree amended in writing to decide a specific visitation schedule for holidays and every week. As soon as the the ex got my fiancé’s motion to amend the decree she turned around, took her parent’s money (because she does not have a job and is pregnant by her live in boyfriend) and hired a lawyer. She has since slapped us with bogus motions that include (among many others) her saying I make their 4 yr old son call me Mom (which I never, ever have!!) she says we BOTH say disparaging remarks to her son about her, use foul language in front of him and she wants me to undergo a psychiatric evaluation clearing me of mental illness before I am allowed around her son again!!!! There is absolutely no basis for these accusations and I’m surprised her lawyer let her file these stupid motions in the first place. Since she does not have a job she is also trying to say she does not have the funds to file these motions so she wants my fiancé to pay HER lawyer for them!!! Unfortunately my fiancé cannot afford a lawyer to even defend himself so how can he pay for hers?!
When they went to court the first time the ex told her version of events and the judge said the stories were so different about what goes on that the judge wanted a family investigator to come out to both homes and conduct interviews, and instead of making the ex stop withholding visitation on her own accord the judge also ordered once a week 1 hour supervised visitation between my fiance and his son at the courthouse until the next court date! Then she pulled the I'm pregnant and I'm sick card so she didn't show up for the last court date so it got continued again. We now have court tomorrow. If it gets continued again I don't know what we are going to do!!!

 

[Antigone*]

Wow, where do I start. Well let me start here:

Our dilemma right now is that we haven't seen my husbands son since January because he asked to have his son on Christmas Eve and the ex said fine.... then 4 days before Christmas Eve she said no and he could do nothing about it (they do not have set holiday visitation written specifically in the divorce decree which was SO stupid for him not to arrange when they got the divorce) she then told everyone that he didn't WANT to see his son and that she gave him other options for Christmas and he refused. As God as my witness, that DID NOT happen!!

This is NOT your dilemma. This has nothing to do with you. You are a legal stranger to this child. This issue is between dad and mom.

Then to add to the mess his the ex decided to withhold visitation from him indefinitely until she got our address which up until then she had never asked for before because my fiancé picks up and drops off his son for his weekly visits so the the ex had no need to know it. After all this happened in the span of 2 weeks my fiancé went and filed a motion to get their divorce decree amended in writing to decide a specific visitation schedule for holidays and every week

He should have filed an order of contempt, but then again you don't have anything to do with that.

As soon as the the ex got my fiancé’s motion to amend the decree she turned around, took her parent’s money (because she does not have a job and is pregnant by her live in boyfriend) and hired a lawyer. She has since slapped us with bogus motions that include (among many others) her saying I make their 4 yr old son call me Mom (which I never, ever have!!) she says we BOTH say disparaging remarks to her son about her, use foul language in front of him and she wants me to undergo a psychiatric evaluation clearing me of mental illness before I am allowed around her son again!!!!

Mom is well within her rights. I'd thoroughly check out dad's new flame also especially since she seems to be as overbearing and intrusive as she seems.

There is absolutely no basis for these accusations and I’m surprised her lawyer let her file these stupid motions in the first place. Since she does not have a job she is also trying to say she does not have the funds to file these motions so she wants my fiancé to pay HER lawyer for them!!! Unfortunately my fiancé cannot afford a lawyer to even defend himself so how can he pay for hers?!

Again, well within her rights and none of your business.

When they went to court the first time the ex told her version of events and the judge said the stories were so different about what goes on that the judge wanted a family investigator to come out to both homes and conduct interviews, and instead of making the ex stop withholding visitation on her own accord the judge also ordered once a week 1 hour supervised visitation between my fiance and his son at the courthouse until the next court date!

Wait, if you were slapped with a motion, why weren't you in court. Oh wait, that's right YOU weren't slapped with anything, at least not by her.

Then she pulled the I'm pregnant and I'm sick card so she didn't show up for the last court date so it got continued again. We now have court tomorrow. If it gets continued again I don't know what we are going to do!!

WE aren't going to do anything.

You know, all this rambling and not one question, hmmm how very telling

 

[melissa841979]

This is NOT your dilemma. This has nothing to do with you. You are a legal stranger to this child. This issue is between dad and mom

Mom is well within her rights. I'd thoroughly check out dad's new flame also especially since she seems to be as overbearing and intrusive as she seems.

Excuse me, if it is not my dilemma and has nothing to do with me then the exwife should leave me out of the motions completely. SHE is the one who keeps bringing me up, SHE is the one who has brought ME to the courts attention with her accusations.
And if her son is staying in MY home because his father moved in with ME and a family investigator comes to MY home because of what I am being accused of through these motions then I think to an extent it is MY business. Or should have told the family investigator that knocked on MY door it had nothing to do with me and slammed the door in her face?
I'm sorry I care if my fiance sees his son, but then I'd be a jerk if I didn't care right?

 

[Isis1]

Excuse me, if it is not my dilemma and has nothing to do with me then the exwife should leave me out of the motions completely. SHE is the one who keeps bringing me up, SHE is the one who has brought ME to the courts attention with her accusations.
And if her son is staying in MY home because his father moved in with ME and a family investigator comes to MY home because of what I am being accused of through these motions then I think to an extent it is MY business. Or should have told the family investigator that knocked on MY door it had nothing to do with me and slammed the door in her face?
I'm sorry I care if my fiance sees his son, but then I'd be a jerk if I didn't care right?

well..it makes dad a bigger jerk if his girlfriends cares more then he does.

 

[Proserpina]

Excuse me, if it is not my dilemma and has nothing to do with me then the exwife should leave me out of the motions completely. SHE is the one who keeps bringing me up, SHE is the one who has brought ME to the courts attention with her accusations.
And if her son is staying in MY home because his father moved in with ME and a family investigator comes to MY home because of what I am being accused of through these motions then I think to an extent it is MY business. Or should have told the family investigator that knocked on MY door it had nothing to do with me and slammed the door in her face?
I'm sorry I care if my fiance sees his son, but then I'd be a jerk if I didn't care right?

Melissa, what you need to bear in mind is that it can be quite telling that Dad didn't bother to register to ask these questions. Dad hasn't bothered to do anything at all frankly.

That says a lot about Dad.

What YOU need to do is let Dad fight his battles.


So what happened in court?

I think I know the answer to that.

 

[melissa841979]

My fiance cares whether or not he sees his son otherwise he would not be going to court at all and he would not be going through this. What happened in court was the judge didn't care to hear her motions about me thank god. Says he doesn't care if she and I get along. He ordered no further contact between myself and her which is a load of my back! He said he wants her lawyer and my fiance to work out visitation schedule and if they can't agree June 2 is the next court date and the judge will decide visitation for them. Since we are not married if exwife decides no overnight visits until we are married that's ok but her live in boyfriend is fine since she has custody. Both judge and lawyer hung it over my fiance's head that if he can't come to an agreement with lawyer about visitation then he still may have to pay her lawyer fees if the judge so decides. What a way to force him into agreeing to her visitation proposal.
You know instead of caring if he even sees his son or not maybe I should go the selfish route instead? The fact is we are getting married and we are already trying to have a child of our own. When the exwife realizes that once our child comes my fiance will be more focused on the child he HAS custody of and won't worry as much about whether or not she is letting him see hers, I'm sure she will change her tune and then she will be chasing us rather than the other way around. I'll bet no one agrees with me having that attitude about it either? So which is it? Do I care about him seeing his son or not?

 

[stealth2]

You know instead of caring if he even sees his son or not maybe I should go the selfish route instead? The fact is we are getting married and we are already trying to have a child of our own. When the exwife realizes that once our child comes my fiance will be more focused on the child he HAS custody of and won't worry as much about whether or not she is letting him see hers, I'm sure she will change her tune and then she will be chasing us rather than the other way around. I'll bet no one agrees with me having that attitude about it either? So which is it? Do I care about him seeing his son or not?

Frankly, what you don't seem to realize is that NO ONE CARES what you think or care about.

 

[melissa841979]

So because I'm the new wife I am nothing to anyone? Is that what you're saying?

 

[stealth2]

So because I'm the new wife I am nothing to anyone? Is that what you're saying?

When it comes to your boyfriend's legal situation with his ex-wife? You are nothing. So your thoughts and feeeeeeeeelings about it are irrelevant and meaningless.

 

[melissa841979]

I understand that but if exwife is paying so much attention to me and my habits then how do I defend myself if it's none of my business? Her exhusband lives in MY home, her child visits MY home. When exwife decides to make accusations and threats I'm supposed to plead it's none of my business? Hasn't worked so far.

 

[Just Blue]

So because I'm the new wife I am nothing to anyone? Is that what you're saying?

Hon...You are not the "new wife".

 

[melissa841979]

Oh I'm sorry but when September comes I will be, so what then?

 

[melissa841979]

I understand that but if exwife is paying so much attention to me and my habits then how do I defend myself if it's none of my business? Her exhusband lives in MY home, her child visits MY home. When exwife decides to make accusations and threats I'm supposed to plead it's none of my business? Hasn't worked so far.

I notice that question there is no answer to?

 

[chronicle]

You don't need to get so offended. This is a forum for LEGAL advice. The posters are trying to explain to you that legally yes, you mean nothing to the situation. You care- that's great. But just as the judge refused to hear the Mom's complaints against you, these posters are trying to get you to understand- you are not a party to this case. Your best move is to ignore, and stay in the background as the PARENTS work it out.

 

[melissa841979]

You don't need to get so offended. This is a forum for LEGAL advice. The posters are trying to explain to you that legally yes, you mean nothing to the situation. You care- that's great. But just as the judge refused to hear the Mom's complaints against you, these posters are trying to get you to understand- you are not a party to this case. Your best move is to ignore, and stay in the background as the PARENTS work it out.

Thank you I understand all that but what posters are neglecting to comment on is that even while I stay in the background the exwife keeps making accusations and allegations against me which is causing the courts to send an investigator to my house, set up "supervised" visits with the child's father and cause him to go to court so she will LET him see his son. When someone shows up at my door I can't plead that it's not my business and I can't IGNORE it. Wish I could!!! Saying I have no rights or say in the matter is all well and good IF the exwife doesn't CHOOSE to drag me into it with her paperwork to the courts and her lawyers andhaving people look into my homelife!