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  1. #1
    sunflower02 is offline Junior Member
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    Please help! He wont give my baby back!

    North Carolina
    My ex boyfriend and I have a little boy together and our son has always lived with me. I was never married to his father but his name is on the BC and our son has his last name. Things between my ex and I have been very strained and our son hasnít spent much time with his father. Lately he has taken an interest in our son so I agreed to allow him to have him on visitation for the weekend. He was supposed to return him today but he did not show up. I called him and he told me he wasnít going to bring him back to me because he has as much rights to our son as I do. I called the police and they asked me if my ex was the babyís father. Of course I said yes. They told me if that is so, they canít help me get my son back. What do I do? I am so scared right now!
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower02 View Post
    North Carolina
    My ex boyfriend and I have a little boy together and our son has always lived with me. I was never married to his father but his name is on the BC and our son has his last name. Things between my ex and I have been very strained and our son hasnít spent much time with his father. Lately he has taken an interest in our son so I agreed to allow him to have him on visitation for the weekend. He was supposed to return him today but he did not show up. I called him and he told me he wasnít going to bring him back to me because he has as much rights to our son as I do. I called the police and they asked me if my ex was the babyís father. Of course I said yes. They told me if that is so, they canít help me get my son back. What do I do? I am so scared right now!

    (Have you actually gone over there instead of just calling?).

    File immediately, first thing Monday, for temporary custody pending a full hearing determining custody etc.

    And read some threads - I think the search function still works (there was a recent overhaul of the site....) - pertaining to your State.
  3. #3
    las365 is offline Senior Member
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    How old is the child?
  4. #4
    sunflower02 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    (Have you actually gone over there instead of just calling?).

    File immediately, first thing Monday, for temporary custody pending a full hearing determining custody etc.

    And read some threads - I think the search function still works (there was a recent overhaul of the site....) - pertaining to your State.
    From everything I know and have read, he is my biological child so I legally have custody of him right? I have read that in chapter 49 I believe section 10 it states that if an un married couple has a child the mother has sole custody until the father files a petition in court establishing paternity and therefore parental rights.
  5. #5
    sunflower02 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by las365 View Post
    How old is the child?
    He is 18 months old
  6. #6
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower02 View Post
    From everything I know and have read, he is my biological child so I legally have custody of him right? I have read that in chapter 49 I believe section 10 it states that if an un married couple has a child the mother has sole custody until the father files a petition in court establishing paternity and therefore parental rights.

    Legalities aside, I'm talking practicalities - if local law enforcement won't help you, there really isn't a whole heckuva lot you CAN do until Monday. Dad is legally Dad. They can't check whether there are or aren't any court orders in place. For all they know, it could be Dad's weekend and you've both lost your copies of the court order.

    Have you gone down to the police station, and asked to speak to someone higher up? Is the child at risk?
  7. #7
    sunflower02 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    Legalities aside, I'm talking practicalities - if local law enforcement won't help you, there really isn't a whole heckuva lot you CAN do until Monday. Dad is legally Dad. They can't check whether there are or aren't any court orders in place. For all they know, it could be Dad's weekend and you've both lost your copies of the court order.

    Have you gone down to the police station, and asked to speak to someone higher up? Is the child at risk?
    As I stated before, dad is not legally dad until he proves this to be so in a court of law. Or at least to the best of my knowledge in accordance with NC state law.
    I can not put legalities asdide for this is the reason I am on this forum. To get help and gain knowledge of the legal side.
    No I have not but that would probably be a good idea. The child is at risk only in the sense of being in the company of criminals. (druggies and such) I could prove this in court but as for just calling the police about that issue I am not sure they would take me seriously as they would assume it is hearsay as in the courts I could show evidence to prove my case.
    Last edited by sunflower02; 04-22-2012 at 02:57 PM.
  8. #8
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower02 View Post
    As I stated before, dad is not legally dad until he proves this to be so in a court of law. Or at least to the best of my knowledge in accordance with NC state law.
    I can not put legalities asdide for this is the reason I am on this forum. To get help and gain knowledge of the legal side.
    No I have not but that would probably be a good idea. The child is at risk only in the sense of being in the company of criminals. (druggies and such) I could prove this in court but as for just calling the police about that issue I am not sure they would take me seriously as they would assume it is hearsay as in the courts I could show evidence to prove my case.
    See NC criminal statutes.

    http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/documents/CriminalCustodialInterference.pdf

    This is not a criminal matter but a civil one .Hours are counting down ,get to the courthouse first thing in a AM when they open and file emergency custody order.
  9. #9
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower02 View Post
    As I stated before, dad is not legally dad until he proves this to be so in a court of law. Or at least to the best of my knowledge in accordance with NC state law.
    I can not put legalities asdide for this is the reason I am on this forum. To get help and gain knowledge of the legal side.
    No I have not but that would probably be a good idea. The child is at risk only in the sense of being in the company of criminals. (druggies and such) I could prove this in court but as for just calling the police about that issue I am not sure they would take me seriously as they would assume it is hearsay as in the courts I could show evidence to prove my case.
    He doesn't have ENFORCEABLE time until he proves it in a court of law but if he is on the birth certificate he has established paternity because you and he both signed the AOP stating he was dad.

    You need to go to court. Both of you will stand equal before the court and they determine a court ordered custody/visitation plan that is in the best interest of the court. The police will NOT intervene in a civil matter which is what this is.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  10. #10
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflower02 View Post
    As I stated before, dad is not legally dad until he proves this to be so in a court of law.

    You both signed a AoP/DoP = affidavit or declaration of paternity. That's how he got on the birth certificate. He IS legally Dad.

    The only thing HE needs to go to court for, is enforceable parenting time and/or custody and/or child support.

    The rest of the advice on this thread stands.
  11. #11
    luvrkiddos is offline Junior Member
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    If you bothered to use the search function there was a thread from 4/15 that states the answer that mom and dad have equal rights to child. The seniors can verify if that is correct but information from NC is posted on that thread. I'm on my cell or else I would've posted a link to the thread.
  12. #12
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by luvrkiddos View Post
    If you bothered to use the search function there was a thread from 4/15 that states the answer that mom and dad have equal rights to child. The seniors can verify if that is correct but information from NC is posted on that thread. I'm on my cell or else I would've posted a link to the thread.

    Which while it might be correct - I didn't check offhand, no - may not help the OP much, unfortunately.

    Mom - who appears to have been the primary caretaker - wants her child now. Dad has the child. The police won't intervene. There's very little to be done before getting a court order first thing Monday.

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