Please Help from my ex

[Friend in Need]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

Hi , I have been divorced last November needless to say it was an ugly divorce. Lost my kids & house & to top it all still cannot get my spiteful ex to get off my back. I have visitation rights of every other weekend. Everytime I have my 3 kids, we do things together and watch movies . On sundays of my weekend , I take them to my mom's place as the kids can play outside in her yard and can also meet grandma. My 3 kids are 12 (girl) , 10 (boy) & 8(boy). I have a 18 yr old who doesn't live with me from a previous relationship before my marriage. This past Sunday , the boys were playing football in my mom's yard with my 18yr old and his dog and a friend. Everything went well I think and my boys were fine and we went back to my apartment and watched the game and they ate and it was time for me to drop them off. So now today which is a Friday, I started to get phone calls from my ex swearing at me , threatening me & yelling at me that my 10yr old got hurt that past Sunday while playing football with my other son and his dog on my mom's property on my parenting time. She claims that my 10 yr old sprained his ankle or leg and has pain in his groin and she is taking him to the hospital and will sue my 18 yr old son & my mom's property for hurting 10yr old. I am like speechless and totally upset and confused. If it was a football injury on that day , I would have noticed and my 10 yr old would have told me and I would have done the right thing there and then, but now after all these days all of a sudden a sprained or broken leg and groin pain can start hurting and that too as a result of playing football that day????? Is that possible?? Can she sue my mom and my 18 yr old for all this???? Or she is just lying like all other times she was before on other things?

Also, she has full custody of kids. Per divorce decree I have to provide for insurance. However, I don't have a job where I can afford to pay for insurance , so she had them on MA until July09'. then she got lazy to fill all the forms and papers to reapply and continue for MA , so she took them off . I would do anything to put them back on MA as they do qualify but when I tried to apply for MA for them I got into trouble saying since kids are not in my fulltime custody and they don't live with me , I cannot apply as it will be fraud. I have tried talking to social services and other people to see if they can make my ex have kids back on MA and so they are insured. But none the less, she threatens me today that I would be responsible to pay the bills and she will not put them on MA.. I have no idea how to deal with this. I can barely pay my medical bills let alone this one. She is responsible for 33% of all medical bills. Is there any help on this area????

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Friend in Need

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

Hi , I have been divorced last November needless to say it was an ugly divorce. Lost my kids & house & to top it all still cannot get my spiteful ex to get off my back. I have visitation rights of every other weekend. Everytime I have my 3 kids, we do things together and watch movies . On sundays of my weekend , I take them to my mom's place as the kids can play outside in her yard and can also meet grandma. My 3 kids are 12 (girl) , 10 (boy) & 8(boy). I have a 18 yr old who doesn't live with me from a previous relationship before my marriage. This past Sunday , the boys were playing football in my mom's yard with my 18yr old and his dog and a friend. Everything went well I think and my boys were fine and we went back to my apartment and watched the game and they ate and it was time for me to drop them off. So now today which is a Friday, I started to get phone calls from my ex swearing at me , threatening me & yelling at me that my 10yr old got hurt that past Sunday while playing football with my other son and his dog on my mom's property on my parenting time.

Kids get injured. Specially playing sports.

She claims that my 10 yr old sprained his ankle or leg and has pain in his groin and she is taking him to the hospital and will sue my 18 yr old son & my mom's property for hurting 10yr old. I am like speechless and totally upset and confused. If it was a football injury on that day , I would have noticed and my 10 yr old would have told me and I would have done the right thing there and then, but now after all these days all of a sudden a sprained or broken leg and groin pain can start hurting and that too as a result of playing football that day????? Is that possible?? Can she sue my mom and my 18 yr old for all this???? Or she is just lying like all other times she was before on other things?

Sure, she can sue.

Will she win? Don't know. Were you negligent?

(and I'm doubtful it's a broken leg - if his leg had been broken last Sunday I believe you ALL would have known about it long before now)

Also, she has full custody of kids. Per divorce decree I have to provide for insurance. However, I don't have a job where I can afford to pay for insurance ,

Then you need to get a job where you can, or get a second job. I'm not being flippant - just realistic.

so she had them on MA until July09'. then she got lazy to fill all the forms and papers to reapply and continue for MA , so she took them off . I would do anything to put them back on MA as they do qualify but when I tried to apply for MA for them I got into trouble saying since kids are not in my fulltime custody and they don't live with me , I cannot apply as it will be fraud.

What do you mean, you got into trouble?

If your decree says you must provide insurance, you need to either try and get that modified or find a way to provide the insurance.

[sometwo]

has pain in his groin and she is taking him to the hospital

Did you ask to accompany her to the hospital so you both could get to the bottom of this?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Kids get injured. Specially playing sports.



Sure, she can sue.

Will she win? Don't know. Were you negligent?

(and I'm doubtful it's a broken leg - if his leg had been broken last Sunday I believe you ALL would have known about it long before now)



Then you need to get a job where you can, or get a second job. I'm not being flippant - just realistic.



What do you mean, you got into trouble?

If your decree says you must provide insurance, you need to either try and get that modified or find a way to provide the insurance.

When it comes to insurance the courts are not going to expect him to supply insurance if it is not available to him at a reasonable cost. What is reasonable differs by cost.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

When it comes to insurance the courts are not going to expect him to supply insurance if it is not available to him at a reasonable cost. What is reasonable differs by cost.

Won't he need to have the original order modified though to reflect that?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Won't he need to have the original order modified though to reflect that?

He should go back to get that reflected. However the only way you can be found in contempt is if you are willingly and knowingly violating the order. Health insurance not being provided by his employer at reasonable cost is a defense as he is NOT WILLINGLY NOT providing it. Too many nots. Sorry.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

He should go back to get that reflected. However the only way you can be found in contempt is if you are willingly and knowingly violating the order. Health insurance not being provided by his employer at reasonable cost is a defense as he is NOT WILLINGLY NOT providing it. Too many nots. Sorry.

Ok, that does make sense, yes. Does it make a difference if he's at a job where their insurance isn't affordable to him versus he's at a job which doesn't pay enough for him to afford insurance at all?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Ok, that does make sense, yes. Does it make a difference if he's at a job where their insurance isn't affordable to him versus he's at a job which doesn't pay enough for him to afford insurance at all?

One thing that I have observed, is frequently an employers insurance is horrendously expensive if you have just one child. Why? Because there is one rate for the employee (which is unusually pretty reasonable) but the additional "family rate" is the same for everyone, whether you have one child or 6. Often you can get private insurance for just one child, that is considerably less expensive than an employer plan.

[maryjo]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

One thing that I have observed, is frequently an employers insurance is horrendously expensive if you have just one child. Why? Because there is one rate for the employee (which is unusually pretty reasonable) but the additional "family rate" is the same for everyone, whether you have one child or 6. Often you can get private insurance for just one child, that is considerably less expensive than an employer plan.

Oh, that is true! I checked into that myself with my insurance because I work for a non-profit organization and our insurance is so expensive! With the same insurance company, I could get my son his own policy and it would be cheaper than keeping him on mine. Of course, I cant drop it until next year so I havent done that yet but it is definately a good idea and something to look into.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by maryjo

Oh, that is true! I checked into that myself with my insurance because I work for a non-profit organization and our insurance is so expensive! With the same insurance company, I could get my son his own policy and it would be cheaper than keeping him on mine. Of course, I cant drop it until next year so I havent done that yet but it is definately a good idea and something to look into.

Its something that lots of people don't realize at all. They pay horrendous amounts via their employers for one child, when they could get private insurance (with the same coverage) at a much lower rate. On top of that, with a bit of a higher deductible, they could get even lower rates for the child.

Anyone who is curious about the issue could go online and get quotes.

People also don't take into consideration their deductible vs the cost of having that deductible. For example, if it costs you 1200.00 extra a year to have a 200.00 deductible, then it would actually be cheaper to have a 1000.00 deductible if you have a normally healthy child.

[pinkey14]

This doesn't help OP though, right? He has THREE kids needing insurance. Can OP do anything legally that makes mom responsible for taking advantage of MA? If not, is there any way his plan could be reworded so that HE is able to legally put them on it by himself?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

This doesn't help OP though, right? He has THREE kids needing insurance. Can OP do anything legally that makes mom responsible for taking advantage of MA? If not, is there any way his plan could be reworded so that HE is able to legally put them on it by himself?

If the policy of MA is to disallow coverage unless OP has custody, the court can't overrule them.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by pinkey14

This doesn't help OP though, right? He has THREE kids needing insurance. Can OP do anything legally that makes mom responsible for taking advantage of MA? If not, is there any way his plan could be reworded so that HE is able to legally put them on it by himself?

Actually, I find it kind of hard to believe that mom isn't on top of that. After all, she is 33% responsible for medical bills so its not as if she is off the hook if the children aren't insured.

[maryjo]

Is insurance something the OP could take back to mediation or something??

[should_I_ask]

There is a program offered in MN (where I live and the OP lives~ or is asking about) is called a cost effective reimbursement. If you don't meet the financial requirements for MA, you can apply for reimbursement through the state (not sure if its just a transition program or not) for part or all of your insurance premiums. You'd need to call your county, but the help IS out there. Believe me, there's been times where I've needed a hand!