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Please! I need info about my visitation rights

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Peaches24

Guest
What is the name of your state? California
My ex and I lived in GA. I got divorced in 5/98. My ex husband got sole legal custody of our then 1yr old daughter. I was ordered to pay child support. I met my future husband 2yrs later in GA, he was in the army and then he finished serving his 3yrs. We moved to his home state(California) and have lived here ever since. According to my divorce papers I have mutually agreeable visitation rights, but my ex refuses to let me bring my daughter to California where I live for my visitation. I will pay for our plane tickets from GA to CA and to take her back to GA and for me to fly back to CA. He will not hear of it so the only way that I can visit her is if I go to GA,where I have no where to stay really.I haven't payed child support,but according to the law I have visitation rights regardless.I plan on paying child support and back child support as soon as I can.My visitation rights are as follows:
The Defendant (me) shall have the right to visit with said child at any time mutually agreeable to Plaintiff and Defendant. In addition, if the Plaintiff and Defendant cannot agree to visitation,then and in that event, the Defendant shall have the following specific rights to visit with said child:(1) On the first,third,and fifth weekends of each month between the hrs.6pm friday and 6pm on the following Sunday,commencing on the first Friday following the execution of this agreement. (2)For two weeks during the months of June,July and August of every year. Said weeks may be consecutive or separate at the option of Defendant,provided that the first day of such visitation shall not be before the laspe of 7 days following completion of the minor child's regular school year. (3) In each even # year the Defendant shall have the right to visit with the child for a period of 7 consecutive days beginning at 2pm on Dec.25 and ending at 6pm on Jan 1 of the next succeeding yr. On each odd # yr,Defendant have right to visit with child for a period of 7 days 6pm of Dec.18, ending 2pm Dec.25. (4)In each even 3 yr,I have right to visit with her on Valentine's Day,Labor Day. Odd 3 yr.I have child visit with me on Easter, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day. (5) On birthday of child in each even # yr. I have right to visit with child from noon or close of school day until 9pm unless B-Day falls on an otherwise regularly agreed upon visitation date for Defendant. On B-Day of child in each odd 3 yr. the Defendant shall be entitled to visit with child celebrating on B-Day from6:30pm to 8:30pm. The plaintiff agrees to inform the Defendant of following special occasions at least 24hr. in advance of B-Day parties,religious events,graduations,school openhouses,weddings,award ceremonies, and I have right to attend in any such occasion. I shall collect and return child for each visitation at or to Plaintiffs residence. All transportation expenses incident to exercise of visition rights shall be borne by the Defendant.(me)
He abides by none of these rules and he never has. He also told me after the divorce that I do not have to pay child support because I didn't make nearly as much money as him. I raised my daughter for the 1st yr of her life. I took care of her everyday. We seperated. I allowed him to visit her and he then snatched her and never gave her back. He got custody because he had a place for her to live, I didn't. He had a car and money, I didn't. My family took his side because they wanted me to stay with him and I didn't want to. I had no family support. He got custody because at the time he could provide for her better. I had no where to go except for my friends houses, from palce to place. I met a great man and moved with him to California because I love him and because I had nothing in GA. I had no choice but to move and start a new life, but I love my daughter and I miss her so much. Losing her was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through and the pain will never go away until I have her in my life. It takes lots of money to go back to court but I plan to. She is now 6 yrs old. He and his mom tell me to forget about her and go on with my life.When I call to talk to her, they will not let me. I sent her a letter and pictures of her baby bro and I and when I called to see if she got the package, his mom told me that she would not read her the letter.The letter just expressed my love for her and how much i want her to come and visit me in CAand how much I miss her.My ex mother in law said to forget about her because calling her and sending things to her just confuses her. I begged her to read the letter to her and show her, her new bro's pictures, she said absolutely not. I have an 8 month old with my fiance. My daughter and all of my family in Ga have never even met him yet. I'm so afraid that they are going to make her hate me and make her think that I abandoned her. They already told me that they will tell her that on top of lots and lots of other things. If anyone can give me advice about this huge issue I will greatly appreciate it and God will bless you for being a kind hearted person. Someone please help!!!!! I deperately need any advice on this... Thank You with all of my Heart!!!!!!
 


skyy

Member
See if you can get paperwork to file a complaint for denial of visitation. You may also want to file for a custody modification seeing as how you're now thousands of miles away, and weekend visitations are extremely difficult. According to your info, there is no justifiable reason as to why you can't see your daughter. You'll need to get an attorney to help you get things together properly since you have a long distance fight.

Your daughter has EVERY right to know who you are and that you want to be in her life. Keep track of what happens when you try to talk to your child or visit. I'll see if I can find some more resources for you.

In the meantime visit the FAQ section for child custody in the forum.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You really need to get a modification as the majority of the visitation you have as a default isn't really reasonable due to the distance.

If you have a support order, expect that the modification of visitation will have your ex file to find you in contempt of that order - regardless his telling you not to pay, a court order requires you to do so.

And lastly... I'm sorry - but you didn't *have* to move across the country from your child. You chose to.
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
The "default" visitation is just that. Default. Doesn't matter if you live 2 blocks away, or 2,000 miles away, it defaults to a standard visitation schedule if the parties can't agree to what is "reasonable". My Georgia Parenting plan is written this same way, even though I live in Missouri. (And I was already in Missouri before the PP and divorce papers were first drawn up.) Mine says EOW too, split all Holidays, and then I get all summer. Not just 2 weeks in each month like our poster here. But other than that, all other language is the same in mine too.

What she needs to do is file contempt of court if he denies her that "default" visitation schedule. Both parties have to agree to what is "reasonable", and they don't. So "reasonable visitation" is thrown out the window in this case. It automatically reverts to the default times and dates. She could go to Ga. EOW like it says, and if he denies her, he's in contempt. She could send him an Intention to Exercise Visitation Letter EOW. If he denies her again, he's in contempt. She could go there to get her child the first week of June. If he denies her, he's in contempt. It all depends on how the poster wants to deal with this. Fact is, he'll keep denying her until she does do something.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I agree, BLCM... her ex isn't going to make any more effort until she takes action. But she should also be aware it will likely cause him to retaliate with a contempt filing regarding the support. While they're technically unrelated, it's just something she should be prepared for.
 

skyy

Member
So true

I missed that ONE line about the support. (Or maybe I just didn't pay attention reading it as part of the agreement.)

I guess she'll need to make a move and just prepare for a counter...
 
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Peaches24

Guest
Thanks for making me feel worse asswhole.

skyy said:
See if you can get paperwork to file a complaint for denial of visitation. You may also want to file for a custody modification seeing as how you're now thousands of miles away, and weekend visitations are extremely difficult. According to your info, there is no justifiable reason as to why you can't see your daughter. You'll need to get an attorney to help you get things together properly since you have a long distance fight.

Your daughter has EVERY right to know who you are and that you want to be in her life. Keep track of what happens when you try to talk to your child or visit. I'll see if I can find some more resources for you.

In the meantime visit the FAQ section for child custody in the forum.
 
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Peaches24

Guest
Thank You so much for your support

I really truly appreciate your support. God knows I haven't had much since I've been in this ordeal. Just reading some positive words and knowing that someone understands makes me feel better. I will do exactly what you've said and I will see what else i can do to resolve this situation. Thank You so much!!!
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Uhmmm....

How did skyy's post make you feel worse?

Skyy told you exactly what to do. If he denies you visitation, file contempt of court charges on him.

She agreed with you that there was no justifiable reason for your ex to keep your child from you. She offered to help find you more resources. She agreed that your child has the right to have you in her life. She told you to document every time your ex denies you visitation so that you have evidence to back up a claim of contempt.

So, how did this make you feel worse??? :confused:
 
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Peaches24

Guest
Exactly.

I chose to go on with my life without my ex husband whom I will hate for all eternity but in no way does that mean that I chose to go on with my life without my daughter. I love her with all of my heart and I will never stop fighting to have her with me. I'm pretty sure she will eventually want to live with me anyways because she knows me, she knows that I love her and that I am her mother. Basically you are saying that just because I created a child in Georgia, I have to reside there until my daughter is grown.Hell no, I don't. I can have a life you know and I will have a life with her.Mar those words. I didn't even need your reply because you sound just like my family who take his side.SO you can F off.......Do not reply back unless you have something positive to say. You have no clue what I am going through and how much it hurts. There is way more to it thatn what I have posted.I was a wonderful mother to her before he snatched her.


momma_tiger said:
You really need to get a modification as the majority of the visitation you have as a default isn't really reasonable due to the distance.

If you have a support order, expect that the modification of visitation will have your ex file to find you in contempt of that order - regardless his telling you not to pay, a court order requires you to do so.

And lastly... I'm sorry - but you didn't *have* to move across the country from your child. You chose to.
 
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Peaches24

Guest
I'm sorry,

I'm very sorry. That was sent to the wrong person.It was meant to be sent to the lady that said I chose to move away from my daughter. I really appreciate skyy's reply. I chose to move way but I didn't chose to forget about my daughter just because i have another life. I want her to live with me. If only a jugde knew the things he does, like drugs and so forth, I would get her right away, but it takes money to go back to court. i heard of one guy paid $15,000 and still doesn't have custody of his children.
Sorry again Skyy, that wasn't meant for you. Thank you so much for your support. Thank You BLCM




BLCM said:
How did skyy's post make you feel worse?

Skyy told you exactly what to do. If he denies you visitation, file contempt of court charges on him.

She agreed with you that there was no justifiable reason for your ex to keep your child from you. She offered to help find you more resources. She agreed that your child has the right to have you in her life. She told you to document every time your ex denies you visitation so that you have evidence to back up a claim of contempt.

So, how did this make you feel worse??? :confused:
 

skyy

Member
Well....

I didn't see any pages specifically for GA that put things in plain English like the one I prefer.

http://www.childcustody.net

It addresses divorce and child custody according to MI law, but it makes things pretty plain. It also discusses the best way to help your case if you're behind in child support payments.
 

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