A precious gift of love..... please help.

[Jamie6T]

What is the name of your state? Arizona.

She is my niece by marriage, but my child in my heart. I have tryed my very best to be a part of her life since before she was even born. The unfortunate result of two foolish teenagers many years ago. Her parents were never married to each other and have never gotten along unless they thought that they might gain or "con" something from the other. So wrapped up in themselves, they forgot about this beautiful child, but I didn't.

Her parents went on to marry other people; her mother had more children. A fresh beginning, with "M" in tow. So when she was seven she "legally" became my niece and when she was eleven I became her God-mother. She looked just as beautiful that day as the day she was born. I should know, I was lucky enough to be there.

Anyway, after her mother married she spent the next ten years being passed back and forth betweeen her parents. Along the way she was abused by her mother and step- father. When I tryed to interject, they made excuses for their actions or flat out denied any wrong doing and said that "M" was a troubled child and to mind my own business. After that my visits became limited and then obsolete for a few years.

One day, a few yrs. ago, shortly after I had moved back to town, "M's" mother came to visit me. She played the role of "friend" as if the last few years had never happened. I hesitated to play along until she asked for my parental assistance with her daughter. She said that "M" had become someone she couldn't relate to and was out of control. Please be reminded that she was still occupying her time with her new children now 11 and 7, not to mention an emotionally and physically abusive marriage. So I agreed to help or at least try. I didn't want to be banished again.

Over the next two years I did my very best to take "M" under my wing. She has always been such a bright girl. She expressed an interest in graduating high school a year early, so we made that "our" goal. She came through with flying colors and grades! She even earned 12 college credits and she was just 16. A child any parent would be proud of.... if they paid attention long enough to care or at least see that this was her moment to shine, but they didn't.

Within 2 weeks of graduation she moved out of her mothers home. She tryed to live with her father again, but he was to into the party seen with his new wife. She made another attempt to reconcile with her mother, but her step- father told her mother to choose between them.... and she did. So "M" moved in with some friends in the next town, continued on with her full-time job (she became a nanny during her last year of high school) and did her best to get into the local community college. I tryed to get her to come live with me, but she no longer trusted adults and decided that she was where she needed to be at that time.

In March my partner and I(and our two small children) decided to transfer with our company back across the country to approxiamately the same region where we originated. We felt it was a great career move that would afford our family more opportunities. We decided to speak with "M's" mother and father about the possibility of "M" coming to live with us. They both told me that if I thought I could "handle" her that they didn't care either way. They felt that they had done all they could for her. So my partner and I spent the weeks and months leading up to our move talking with "M" about joining us, and finally being a part of a real family.... our family. She agreed.

She is now 17 and slowly I'm seeing that bright, beautiful inner child return to the surface. It's only been two months and the difference is amazing. The smiling face and all the love that she has to give; and has finally opened up to receive is so wonderful. I want give her the world, but first we would like to be able to provide her with everything she needs( health care, dental, finacial aid for continued education, etc) and deserves.

The problem is how? How do I/we gain custody of such a precious gift? Please help.What is the name of your state?

Here is what I got out of that LENGTHY story.....

I want give her the world, but first we would like to be able to provide her with everything she needs( health care, dental, finacial aid for continued education, etc) and deserves.

1. When she needs to go to the doctor...WRITE A CHECK.
2. When she needs to go to the dentist....WRITE A CHECK.
3. When she goes to college...WRITE A CHECK.

[fairisfair]

dude, you got more than I did, it was too precious, I was too busy gagging.

[Ohiogal]

You can't gain custody of her. Especially since she seems to be almost a legal adult unless your state allows legal adoptions of adults and allows adults to decide to terminate their parent's rights.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by fairisfair

dude, you got more than I did, it was too precious, I was too busy gagging.

I think the OP may be Kathie Lee Gifford. Too bad there is no green nauseous "smiley".

[Jamie6T]

I cannot believe your even a human being say nothing of being a "senior member"! Senior member of what.... the *******s anonymous club! I thought I had found a site where REAL PEOPLE might be of some assistance, but instead you're all selfish jerks and this site should be banned from the internet, just as you should be banned from the human race. Shame on you for even existing!

Originally Posted by shell007

Here is what I got out of that LENGTHY story.....


1. When she needs to go to the doctor...WRITE A CHECK.
2. When she needs to go to the dentist....WRITE A CHECK.
3. When she goes to college...WRITE A CHECK.

[Jamie6T]

"To busy gagging"?? Great reply! Thank you so much for pulling your head out the sand long enough to write such an intelligent and useful reply. In case your not aware, DRUGS ARE BAD FOR THE BRAIN!

Originally Posted by fairisfair

dude, you got more than I did, it was too precious, I was too busy gagging.

Whaaaaaat!

YOU said you want to:

I want give her the world, but first we would like to be able to provide her with everything she needs( health care, dental, finacial aid for continued education, etc) and deserves.

THEN WRITE A CHECK and that should cover EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO GIVE HER.

Originally Posted by Jamie6T

"To busy gagging"?? Great reply! Thank you so much for pulling your head out the sand long enough to write such an intelligent and useful reply. In case your not aware, DRUGS ARE BAD FOR THE BRAIN!

Yet YOU are the one who thinks/wants to adopt an adult!!!!

[Jamie6T]

I am currently waiting to speak to an attorney. She is only seventeen and according to the attorney if her parents are willing to sign over custody without a hassle then we're okay. If I gain custody of her before she turns 18 then I can put her on my insurance and assist her with financial aid for school until she graduates or turns 24.

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

You can't gain custody of her. Especially since she seems to be almost a legal adult unless your state allows legal adoptions of adults and allows adults to decide to terminate their parent's rights.

Originally Posted by Jamie6T

I am currently waiting to speak to an attorney. She is only seventeen and according to the attorney if her parents are willing to sign over custody without a hassle then we're okay. If I gain custody of her before she turns 18 then I can put her on my insurance and assist her with financial aid for school until she graduates or turns 24.

OR...











































just WRITE A CHECK!!!!

[Jamie6T]

"Kathie Lee Gifford"...... nausea face and rolling of eyes??? I would ask what your problem is, but it seems to be obvious. Your an insensitive ASS and just like some others you don't use this site to help people; you use it to display your selfish thoughts. God knows your not capable of an intelligent and professional response.

Originally Posted by ceara19

I think the OP may be Kathie Lee Gifford. Too bad there is no green nauseous "smiley".

Originally Posted by Jamie6T

"Kathie Lee Gifford"...... nausea face and rolling of eyes??? I would ask what your problem is, but it seems to be obvious. Your an insensitive ASS and just like some others you don't use this site to help people; you use it to display your selfish thoughts. God knows your not capable of an intelligent and professional response.

and it only took you a little over 24 hours to respond to this post! Impressive seeing how you are so concerned!!!!

Again....WRITE A CHECK.....PROBLEM SOLVED.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by Jamie6T

"Kathie Lee Gifford"...... nausea face and rolling of eyes??? I would ask what your problem is, but it seems to be obvious. Your an insensitive ASS and just like some others you don't use this site to help people; you use it to display your selfish thoughts. God knows your not capable of an intelligent and professional response.

I'm NOT an insensitive ASS. I am a realistic, unsympathetic, BITCH! My "problem" is that people like YOU come here wanting to find the easy way out instead of taking 5 seconds to follow the TOS and use the SEARCH function. Then, when you don't receive the answers you WANT to hear, you bitch and moan because no one has any sympathy for you.

If you had used "intelligent and useful" information in you post, instead of completely irrelevant CRAP, the responses may have been of a much "nicer" tone, although the basic information would be the same.

I am very capable of an intelligent and PROFESSIONAL reply. However, when I checked the mail today, I did not see a payment from YOU for PROFESSIONAL services.

If you are so disgusted by the "selfish jerks" at this site, just click on the little "x" in the upper right corner of the screen and there will no longer be anything to be bothered by!

[GolfCourseHero]

I agree the story is very heart felt and could be made into a made for TV mini-series in all reality. On the other hand there is not very much legal substance within the post. Start with the family court division and get forms related to acquiring custody. There are several free legal help clinics in most cities to assist in achieving your goal.

Writing a check would solve the concerns, however, gaining custody of a minor is a possibility, if you really want to go through the paperwork and court visits. Unfortunately, she might be 20 before you actually have legal custody.

I thought your story was very nice and touching; you need to realize that most attorneys aren't worth the paper their degrees are printed on, at least in terms of moral fiber. Your expectation to be greeted with warmness was a major miscalculation on your part, in this forum.

Best of luck in your endeavor....