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  1. #1
    aubriesmom is offline Junior Member
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    Pregnant and Considering Divorce

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    I am curious as to what the custody rights (if any) there are regarding a newborn child? I am pregnant and my husband and I are considering divorce. I would like to breastfeed and am wondering how custody of our newborn baby will be affected.
  2. #2
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Joint custody is preferred in California. Breast feeding doesn't mean dad doesn't get to have custody of his child like you can. You'll have to pump unless you want the child on formula half of the time.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Joint custody is preferred in California. Breast feeding doesn't mean dad doesn't get to have custody of his child like you can. You'll have to pump unless you want the child on formula half of the time.
    Joint custody however does not necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare.
  4. #4
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Joint custody however does not necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare.
    No one said it did.
  5. #5
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    No one said it did.
    You implied that when you stated that she would have to pump unless she wanted her child on formula half the time. So I felt I should point out that joint custody does not necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare.
  6. #6
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Would it make you feel better if CC stated that mom would have to pump PART of the time or put the child on formula part of the time?

    The point is that breastfeeding is NOT going to prevent dad from getting overnights OR having custody of his child. If feeding from a nipple was the determining factor then the nearest dairy cows would be shoo ins for custody of all children. As it is, breastfeeding does NOT matter -- if you want the child to have breastmilk then you can pump and send it.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Would it make you feel better if CC stated that mom would have to pump PART of the time or put the child on formula part of the time?

    The point is that breastfeeding is NOT going to prevent dad from getting overnights OR having custody of his child. If feeding from a nipple was the determining factor then the nearest dairy cows would be shoo ins for custody of all children. As it is, breastfeeding does NOT matter -- if you want the child to have breastmilk then you can pump and send it.
    Yes, actually I would have felt better if CC had stated that mom would have to pump part of the time, because it would have been more honest.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Yes, actually I would have felt better if CC had stated that mom would have to pump part of the time, because it would have been more honest.
    Luckily, I don't care how you feel and what I said was completely honest. I know you've been personally involved in many court cases around the united states, which makes me wonder how you could ever WORK, since this isn't your profession, but I feel very comfortable in saying that I've sat through more CA family law proceedings in the last 7 days than you have in your entire life.
  9. #9
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Luckily, I don't care how you feel and what I said was completely honest. I know you've been personally involved in many court cases around the united states, which makes me wonder how you could ever WORK, since this isn't your profession, but I feel very comfortable in saying that I've sat through more CA family law proceedings in the last 7 days than you have in your entire life.
    Quite frankly, depending on how much mom can pump at any point in time, she may spend MORE THAN HALF the time pumping in order to junior enough breastmilk to nurse while at dad's. And if she is pumping that much, then junior would need formula more than half the time in order to compensate for the fact that mom would have a pump attached to her nipple for great stretches of time.

    ETA: There is also no guarantee that mom would be able to breastfeed anyway.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  10. #10
    profmum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by aubriesmom View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    I am curious as to what the custody rights (if any) there are regarding a newborn child? I am pregnant and my husband and I are considering divorce. I would like to breastfeed and am wondering how custody of our newborn baby will be affected.
    Since the thread was hijacked by petty squabbles.. Dad will get joint custody, most likely a graduated schedule for overnights and very possibly 50-50 over time (which could be any amount of time) if he wants such an allocation of parenting time. Breastfeeding will not be a major factor in determining the parenting time.
  11. #11
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by profmum View Post
    Since the thread was hijacked by petty squabbles.. Dad will get joint custody, most likely a graduated schedule for overnights and very possibly 50-50 over time (which could be any amount of time) if he wants such an allocation of parenting time. Breastfeeding will not be a major factor in determining the parenting time.
    Why is dad getting a graduated schedule for a child who isn't even here yet? BOTH parents are on equal ground right now as it is... except for one has the uterus.
  12. #12
    profmum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Why is dad getting a graduated schedule for a child who isn't even here yet? BOTH parents are on equal ground right now as it is... except for one has the uterus.

    Agreed, since Mum is concerned about custofy for a newborn, if Mum and Dad split up before the child is born, right after the child is born, or when the child is still in infancy, graduated schedules are more likely to be ordered. Not a gaurantee as there never is one in family court but a strong possibility.
  13. #13
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by profmum View Post
    Agreed, since Mum is concerned about custofy for a newborn, if Mum and Dad split up before the child is born, right after the child is born, or when the child is still in infancy, graduated schedules are more likely to be ordered. Not a gaurantee as there never is one in family court but a strong possibility.
    Let's presume that mom actually acts maturely in this whole situation and dad is an active participant in the child's life from minute 1. Why is he automatically getting a graduated schedule? And how much more likely are graduated schedules in instances like these possible in California?
  14. #14
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    just one consideration for the OP, if she comes back....pregnancy is NOT the time to be considering divorce.

    if you chose to breastfeed, wait one year AFTER breastfeeding to determine whether you still want a divorce. otherwise, wait one year after the birth of the baby.

    unless you are in physical danger, huge life changes and decisions need to wait.
  15. #15
    profmum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Let's presume that mom actually acts maturely in this whole situation and dad is an active participant in the child's life from minute 1. Why is he automatically getting a graduated schedule? And how much more likely are graduated schedules in instances like these possible in California?
    Since you are the CA expert, please provide the overwhelming evidence that suggests otherwise in CA and I conceede to it.
    Last edited by profmum; 08-23-2009 at 07:58 PM.

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