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Pregnant and Considering Divorce

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aubriesmom

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I am curious as to what the custody rights (if any) there are regarding a newborn child? I am pregnant and my husband and I are considering divorce. I would like to breastfeed and am wondering how custody of our newborn baby will be affected.
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
Joint custody is preferred in California. Breast feeding doesn't mean dad doesn't get to have custody of his child like you can. You'll have to pump unless you want the child on formula half of the time.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Joint custody is preferred in California. Breast feeding doesn't mean dad doesn't get to have custody of his child like you can. You'll have to pump unless you want the child on formula half of the time.
Joint custody however does not necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
No one said it did.
You implied that when you stated that she would have to pump unless she wanted her child on formula half the time. So I felt I should point out that joint custody does not necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Would it make you feel better if CC stated that mom would have to pump PART of the time or put the child on formula part of the time?

The point is that breastfeeding is NOT going to prevent dad from getting overnights OR having custody of his child. If feeding from a nipple was the determining factor then the nearest dairy cows would be shoo ins for custody of all children. As it is, breastfeeding does NOT matter -- if you want the child to have breastmilk then you can pump and send it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Would it make you feel better if CC stated that mom would have to pump PART of the time or put the child on formula part of the time?

The point is that breastfeeding is NOT going to prevent dad from getting overnights OR having custody of his child. If feeding from a nipple was the determining factor then the nearest dairy cows would be shoo ins for custody of all children. As it is, breastfeeding does NOT matter -- if you want the child to have breastmilk then you can pump and send it.
Yes, actually I would have felt better if CC had stated that mom would have to pump part of the time, because it would have been more honest.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Yes, actually I would have felt better if CC had stated that mom would have to pump part of the time, because it would have been more honest.
Luckily, I don't care how you feel and what I said was completely honest. I know you've been personally involved in many court cases around the united states, which makes me wonder how you could ever WORK, since this isn't your profession, but I feel very comfortable in saying that I've sat through more CA family law proceedings in the last 7 days than you have in your entire life.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Luckily, I don't care how you feel and what I said was completely honest. I know you've been personally involved in many court cases around the united states, which makes me wonder how you could ever WORK, since this isn't your profession, but I feel very comfortable in saying that I've sat through more CA family law proceedings in the last 7 days than you have in your entire life.
Quite frankly, depending on how much mom can pump at any point in time, she may spend MORE THAN HALF the time pumping in order to junior enough breastmilk to nurse while at dad's. And if she is pumping that much, then junior would need formula more than half the time in order to compensate for the fact that mom would have a pump attached to her nipple for great stretches of time.

ETA: There is also no guarantee that mom would be able to breastfeed anyway.
 

profmum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I am curious as to what the custody rights (if any) there are regarding a newborn child? I am pregnant and my husband and I are considering divorce. I would like to breastfeed and am wondering how custody of our newborn baby will be affected.
Since the thread was hijacked by petty squabbles.. Dad will get joint custody, most likely a graduated schedule for overnights and very possibly 50-50 over time (which could be any amount of time) if he wants such an allocation of parenting time. Breastfeeding will not be a major factor in determining the parenting time.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Since the thread was hijacked by petty squabbles.. Dad will get joint custody, most likely a graduated schedule for overnights and very possibly 50-50 over time (which could be any amount of time) if he wants such an allocation of parenting time. Breastfeeding will not be a major factor in determining the parenting time.
Why is dad getting a graduated schedule for a child who isn't even here yet? BOTH parents are on equal ground right now as it is... except for one has the uterus.
 

profmum

Senior Member
Why is dad getting a graduated schedule for a child who isn't even here yet? BOTH parents are on equal ground right now as it is... except for one has the uterus.

Agreed, since Mum is concerned about custofy for a newborn, if Mum and Dad split up before the child is born, right after the child is born, or when the child is still in infancy, graduated schedules are more likely to be ordered. Not a gaurantee as there never is one in family court but a strong possibility.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Agreed, since Mum is concerned about custofy for a newborn, if Mum and Dad split up before the child is born, right after the child is born, or when the child is still in infancy, graduated schedules are more likely to be ordered. Not a gaurantee as there never is one in family court but a strong possibility.
Let's presume that mom actually acts maturely in this whole situation and dad is an active participant in the child's life from minute 1. Why is he automatically getting a graduated schedule? And how much more likely are graduated schedules in instances like these possible in California?
 

Isis1

Senior Member
just one consideration for the OP, if she comes back....pregnancy is NOT the time to be considering divorce.

if you chose to breastfeed, wait one year AFTER breastfeeding to determine whether you still want a divorce. otherwise, wait one year after the birth of the baby.

unless you are in physical danger, huge life changes and decisions need to wait.
 

profmum

Senior Member
Let's presume that mom actually acts maturely in this whole situation and dad is an active participant in the child's life from minute 1. Why is he automatically getting a graduated schedule? And how much more likely are graduated schedules in instances like these possible in California?
Since you are the CA expert, please provide the overwhelming evidence that suggests otherwise in CA and I conceede to it.
 
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